Friday, June 03, 2011

Men's Underwear Shows Huge Bulge....

....in sales, that is. And not just any underwear, mind you, but in the, um, ManGirdle department. or, as 2(x)ist likes to call them: Shapewear; which is to say, girdles for men.

Seriously. Stop laughing.

New York-based 2(x)ist has launched a line of undergarments for men that is literally flying off the shelves. An update, or reboot, if you will, of those long detested man girdles that were once advertised on late night TV, and sold secretly in out-of-the-way drugstores.

In fact, "upscale men’s underwear brand, 2(x)ist, credits the growing popularity of its shapewear for its expanding bottom line." Expanding bottom. Get it?

2(x)ist creative director, Jason Scarlatti says, "Our president brought the idea up to me about two years ago and my initial reaction was, 'I don't want to be part of it. They looked like torture devices to me."

But then a new gird....er, shapewear for women, became a multi-million dollar a year cash cow Atlanta-based Spanx, so 2(x)ist seized "an opportunity in the market to provide something fashionable and comfortable" for men. A version of a square-cut tank top features a "hidden inner compression lining" that lends "a super tapered fit,"  while briefs and trunks are fitted with a 6-inch-wide waistband to minimize spare tires and improve posture.

See there, what they did? if you get busted for wearing the gird....er, shapewear, you can say you're doing it for your posture. Yeah, that's the ticket, Posture.

And for those of you fellas out there who want to enhance the view from the rear, try the new wide, easy-breathing band of 90-percent cotton lifts the rear while the company's signature "contour pouch" handles the job up front. And if you're seeking to show off those up-front goods, well then, why not try the "Maximize" which hoists the male anatomy even farther.

Good posture. 
Slim waist.
Tight ass.
Substantial bulge. 

And it's not a girdle.
Dammit!

5 comments:

Wonder Man said...

Why?

DuPree said...

Y'know - there might have been a time when I cared enough to try something like this. I will even confess to having purchased International Male 'Bunz' briefs sometime back in the 1980s.

But honestly, you reach a point where you quickly realize that there is about less than 1% of the public that can wear this stuff without looking like a major spaz. And really, do you honestly want to be wearing something like this when the paramedics are cutting your clothes off?

Prince Toddy English said...

This is cute...for someone else.

urbandon (Don Pezzano) said...

Like that model need a girdle. (Or I as a matter of fact)

Kyle said...

These are really destructive gimmicks. We need to learn to be happy with ourselves and learn to change the thing we don't like. This undermines both.