Saturday, September 14, 2024

Why Is It ...

… that I need 10 incomes for the lifestyle I have in my head.

… that people who abhor swearing get angry with me because I can formulate an intelligent sentence and still throw a motherfucker in just for the Hell of it. Learn to juggle people.

… that people don’t get it when I say I can’t go out because the cats expect me home at a certain hour.

… that you may call them ‘Red Flags’ but I call them Ten Fun Facts you don’t know about me.

… that my car will be on Empty and I’ll drive past 4 gas stations and just go home.

… that I always see adults pour a glass of wine and fill it only halfway and I think, ‘One of us is doing this wrong and I think it’s you.’

… that holding back my sarcastic replies takes nearly all my inner strength.

… that I’ve been feeling a little moody and run down lately, so I looked up my symptoms online. It’s adulthood … I have adulthood.

… that when people wonder if I can be any more annoying, I always say, “Oh god, yes!”

… that they say right before you die your life flashes before your eyes. If that’s true, I hope it includes the blackouts because that would be like bonus footage and deleted scenes on a DVD.


25 comments:

  1. Swearing should be used for dramatic impact, not in everyday, every sentence speech.
    It does rather puzzle me why wine glasses are only filled to a quarter level. If it was filled to the top, there would labour saving costs for the business as I would not have to ask wait staff back three more times.

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    1. I swear a lot, but I also don't swear a lot.
      True answer on the wine? It needs room to breathe so that's why the glass isn't full.

      Delete
  2. aussieguy8:45 AM

    I always wonder why restaurants use HUGE glasses to bring what seems like a smidgen of the wine you ordered! And articulate swearing is a vastly underrated skill. I truly believe holding in sarcasm led to the invention of the eye roll...

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    1. I can swear with the best of them, though I can also completely avoid it, too.

      Delete
  3. Another delightful Saturday morning with you! 💕

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  4. Anonymous10:08 AM

    the dog's mother
    funny list!
    xoxo :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Of course we have to be home by a certain time - the cats need to be feed and watered. Plus it is a great excuse to get out of events I didn't want to go to anyway.

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    Replies
    1. Plus, i don't need those stares when I come home late.

      Delete
    2. Sounds a bit like Mrs. Slocom from Are You Being Served going on and on about "MyPussy".

      Will Jay

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  6. Bobulah, sweetie, whoever told you that you had adulthood were lying! It's a good thing too. Hugs.

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    Replies
    1. I'm not suffering from adulthood? Am I just lazy????

      Delete
  7. Cleora Borealis11:35 AM

    Ahh, swearing! Creatively! There's been some social media buzzing about Kamala's ability to curse with her face! She is on record as claiming her favorite curse word "starts with M and ends with ah." At one point during the debate, she hesitated as she tried to think of how to describe Drumpf...she settled on "this...former President." We all know by her face she was thinking "Muthafucka!!" 👏👏

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    1. Oh, I can curse with my face. So many times someone has said to me, "You could kill with that look."
      Kamala's got a good work for The Felon!

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  8. Why is it that you get the urge to write a bunch of "Why Is It?" quotes every Saturday?

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    Replies
    1. Another question with no known answer ...

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    2. Because there are so damned many questions and so few answers! Don't stop asking "... why is it ... ?"

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    3. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

      Delete
  9. YES! Especially, "Can you be any more annoying?" I am still laughing, sweetpea! xoxo

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    1. This has actually happened to me, though I responded, "Have we met?"
      xoxo

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  10. With the half full wine glasses, I think they're just kidding themselves that they are drinking less.

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    Replies
    1. You may be onto something ...

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  11. Oh shit! I can’t possibly have adulthood, can I?!? At least I don’t fucking swear.

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    Replies
    1. It's a trying fucking time, eh?

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