… that, and this is no brag,
I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret later.
…that the reason I look both
ways before crossing a One-Way street is because I have so little faith in
Humanity.
… that my flag is not red
white and blue … it’s white … I give up. Leave me alone.
… that I am still stunned at
how much I can get done around the house out of the fear of someone coming
over.
… that I always take life
with a grain of salt … a slice of lime and a shot of tequila.
… that no one believes I was born
irritated. I mean, otherwise, there’s no way that people get on my nerves this much.
… that I feel like I’m in
jail when I’m around unfunny people for more than two minutes.
… that the three stages of growing up are Young and
Dumb, Motivated and Hopeful, and Fuck Everyone and Everything.
… that I like my coffee like
I like my men … sliding off the roof of my car as I drive away.
… that if you can’t look back
at your younger self and realize you were an idiot,you’re probably still an
idiot. |
"… that I like my coffee like I like my men … sliding off the roof of my car as I drive away." Good job that Carlos is not a coffee then. Which drink would you liken him to?
ReplyDeleteHe's an aged to perfection red wine.
DeleteI always look both ways too -- and for the same reason!
ReplyDeleteRight??!?!
Delete" that if you can’t look back at your younger self and realize you were an idiot,you’re probably still an idiot." Yes I was but I have no regrets. OMG, what I did...
ReplyDeleteOh I realize I was an idiot back in the day and I'm happy I survived that!
DeleteI look back at my younger self and think "I shoulda..."! Oh well, trying to make up for it now!
ReplyDeleteKeep trying!!!
DeleteMy most famous text, described the executive director of a national consumer advocacy group as "a frustrated old cow." She is, but people were surprised that anyone would say it.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, or not, I am more rude in person than in text. And I don't regret that either!
DeleteAnd I thought I was the only one kept his house presentable for that unwanted moment.
ReplyDeleteActually I don't really which is why if you wanna come to my house CALL FIRST!!!!!!!!
DeleteI am in Stage 3 of my life! LOL Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteYou and me both, Marcia!
DeleteIn England we have these things called zebra crossings, in which pedestrians basically trust drivers to stop. (You're supposed to make eye contact with the driver to negotiate to cross, with the understanding that they're supposed to stop if they can.) I always find them unsettling, precisely because, like you, I mistrust humanity!
ReplyDelete