Thursday, February 09, 2023

Bobservations

Carlos was having trouble with his iPad last night. With his eyesight, he can still read some things on the screen, but he needs it to be in dark mode, and he had done something to change it back to light and asked me to fix it. And I did because I’m nice like that. Then he said the volume needed to be increased because when he was dictating to the iPad he said, and I’m quoting:

“I like to hear the clink clink clink of the dictation.”

I fixed the volume and said to him:

“You know what  like to hear? The sound of your feet moving you out of the office.”

I swear it’s pure comedy gold around here.

Whobert? Honey? It was thing 45 who closed the schools back in 2020, you dimbulb. But then what do you expect from a “Good” Christian woman who, earlier this week, prayed that that Joe Biden would die. Again.

I caught some of the Grammy’s and here’s what I thought … I loathe Beyoncé. I don’t find her the Second Coming in music and I find her a lying pandering hypocrite. As she won an award she thanked God, her dead Uncle, her parents, her husband, her three kids and, wait for it, the hypocrisy stings, the “queer” community. This after doing a concert in Dubai and being paid tens of millions of dollars to perform in a country that outlaws homosexuality. Fuck off, Bey.

Cheers to Kim Petras for being the first out--Thanks Jon--transgender person to win a Grammy in the best pop duo/group performance category, and for Sam Smith to win as the first non-binary artist; they won for their song ‘Unholy.’

Lastly, Madge’s face. Now people are playing off the outrage over Madonna’s appearance as ageism, but it’s not; it’s WhatTheFuckism. I missed the intro so I saw this person walk onstage, speak in a strange voice, not Madge’s usual British accent, and look just odd. As I began to realize it was Madge, my thoughts went from ‘Egads, her face’ to ‘Is this why her Madonna film was shelved? So she could star in the reboot of 'Hellraiser’?

With people calling it ageist to comment on Madge’s new face, I thought, let’s contrast and compare, using Cher, Madonna’s BFF as an example. This year Madonna is celebrating 40 years in music, and has a tour planned to commemorate that feat, so up top is a picture of 24-year-old Madonna from the early days alongside 64-year-old Madonna from last weekend.

Below that is Cher, also from 1983 when she was 36-years-old and contrasted with Cher, who’s been in show business for sixty-plus years,  from 2023 at age seventy-six.

Both women have had work done, but only one has crossed a line, and, again, that’s not ageism, but WhatTheFuckism.

PS And don't give me the line that Madonna looks like that because she shaved her eyebrows; t's the lips and eyes and cheeks and chin, too.

As Tyre Nichols sat propped against a police car, bloodied, dazed and handcuffed after being beaten by a group of Memphis police officers, Officer Demetrius Haley sent a photograph of Nichols to at least five people, including two fellow officers, a civilian employee of the department and a female acquaintance.

Demand police reforms.

Pete Santilli, conservative rightwingnut,  has blamed the earthquake in Turkey and Syria on Sam Smith’s demonic Grammy performance.

Yes, he says that God was so incensed at an Englishman wearing a horned hat and singing a song on TV in California that She sent an earthquake to the other side of the world and murdered over 10,000 people.

Let that sink in.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and you know what that means: revenge gifts … like having your ex’s name engraved on a cat litter box.

The Animal Friends Humane Society , an Ohio animal shelter, offers this service to fundraise and, more importantly, help the heartbroken by letting them be petty! So, if you’ve been dumped or scorned, cheated on or mistreated, dedicate a litter box to the one you used to love. The gesture will cost $5 per box; the promotion will run until February 12, and the shelter will then reveal all the sponsored litter boxes, names included, in a Facebook post on Valentine’s Day.

Ain’t Revenge Grand?

I really need a pair of socks like this, just to see the looks on people faces as I cross and uncross my legs.

Y’all know what a fan I am of the professional sportsball stuff, right? And I especially like that this year the Quarterbacks for each team are both Black men for the first time in history with Kansas City Chiefs Patrick Mahomes, top left, going up against Eagles QB Jalen Hurts, top right. And then there are two brothers playing on opposite teams in the big game. Bottom right is younger brother from the Chiefs, Travis Kelce, while bottom left is the older brother from the Eagles Jason Kelce. All that means nothing when the real question is: Which One Would You Hit?

I hate to boast, but I really think my response to Large Marge was sheer perfection and, dare I say it, even more comedy gold?

48 comments:

  1. O.K. You know I love you and Carlos but you need to be nicer to him. And, just to nit pick..."Kim Petras for being the first transgender person to win a Grammy" while great that she won she was the first "out" trans person to win. The first trans person to win a Grammy (though she was not out at the time) was Wendy Carlos (aka Wendy Carlos Williams).

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    1. Yes Wendy!!! If I'm correct I think she actually won three Grammys.

      Delete
    2. I meant to say out but skipped it; t's n now.
      And Carlos is so in on the joke.

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  2. Great twitter response to MTG posting. MTG and Santilli only help make the case for Gov. Shuckabee Slanders' rebuttle statement that's it's a choice between normal and crazy. And I totally agree with your comment about Madonna, definitely WTF...I thought the new picture of her was just a chubby teenager... So sad.

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    1. I mean, clearly the party of Don't Say Gay, or criminalizing drag shows, of failing to teach history, of banning books, regulating women's bodes, of caring more for guns than people, is the Party of Crazy.

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  3. Definitely comedy gold. I know Cher has had a lot of work done, but she still looks like Cher. But Madonna . . . who's that girl? I prayed that Lauren Boebert wouldn't be re-elected but my prayer didn't work because there isn't any god to listen to it.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. And I loathe that people call it ageist to say anything about her latest face. I'm all for people doing what they choose if it makes them feel better, but some of are taking it too far.
      Boebert barely won and I think the next time she will definitely lose ... and then go Kar Lake on the results.

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  4. I tell you you and Carlos are a riot, a regular riot!

    And Lauren Bobert? You know the difference between her and a door is? You can shut a door.

    And out of all fairness you know I love me some Madonna but I'm even going to see the concert. But I do agree she's taking the plastic surgery too far. She's well on her way to looking like an aged Peggy Lee.

    And the Kelce brothers and I need to be in a Nude Sammich!!!!! Travis has GOREGOUS eyes. I'll be rooting for the Eagles of course.

    Love the Tweet!!!!! She is the reason I keep getting warnings on Instagram...that bitch.

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    1. I'd like to shut Whobert completely down.
      I am not a fan, though love some of her music, the old stuff, but Madge is really taking this face stuff too far. She's become more about her face than her music or talent.
      I wouldn't mind a nice friendly post-game five-way ... just sayin'.

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    2. Can you handle that many balls?

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  5. (Carlos) (Tuxedo)
    xoxo :-)

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  6. I feel for Carlos...I have some minor difficulty reading, especially on the computer due to uncorrectable vision in my left eye...and it can be annoying but nothing like what Carlos experiences. Be kind to him.

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    1. Believe me, Carlos gets the jokes for what they are; that's one of the many many things love about him.

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  7. Oh, Marge three names. Such a see you next Tuesday. Her and Bobo are the worst. I'm also glad that people are seeing them as they are: trash.
    And I love the Petras and Smith won in that category. Love.
    LOL @ Carlos. OMG gold indeed!

    XOXO

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    1. t's high-larious that Huckleberry Sanders called the Blues crazy and the Reds normal after a night of these two mean girls acting foolish and crazy.
      I love, and live, to make Carlos laugh.
      xoxo

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  8. Beyonce got what she deserved. As for Madonna, her hideousness was all over social media, with a lot of comparisons to gargoyles and trolls. Santilli is a failed Christian. And do you know if Travis is a passer, or a receiver?

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    1. Travis can be whatever he wants as long as I can climb him ...

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  9. “I like to hear the clink, clink, clink.” Spoken like a true techno geek. Thanks for your bit on Madonna. I, too, was offended by her claim that the criticism is all about ageism. Certainly not the case on my part. Definitely WhatTheFuckism. She’s the one with age issues.

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    1. Plus Madge is thirsty for any kind of attention.

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  10. Love me some Carlos tales! I can identify with him in this case.
    I was trying to figure out who Madge (that name suits her now) reminded me of. Certainly not a Thai Ladyboy anymore. Maddie hit the nail on the head. Peggy Lee. A Bizarro Peggy Lee from another dimension.
    As for the sports ball guys, I wouldn't hit any of them. I'd be afraid of accidently turning them into Herschel Walker.
    Loved your tweet you sassy boy!

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    1. Madge's face is ever-changing.
      And, I may be wrong, but are you saying you once hit Herschel Walker and are the reason he's Herschel Walker?

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    2. Oh, Bobulah, I have much better taste than that! I was referring to already loose brains from playing football. I would be the last straw.

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  11. Some people call me Madge and I don't like it because I don't resemble MTG at all in appearance or politics. Yes, WTF on Madonna's face; Cher looks much more normal. Not like a cartoon character. I once contributed money to a zoo to have a rat named for my ex fed to another animal. I'm not proud.

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    1. I kinda like the Rat Food Naming!

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  12. LB reminds me of Republicans blaming Obama for the 2008 recession

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  13. I think you might need to change the name of your blog, Bob. Comedy Gold has a nice ring to it and I do think you struck it with your Carlos tale and your reply to Little Miss White Supremacist. The socks are cool and I think the Valentines fundraiser is a great idea. Have a great weekend.

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    1. I do enjoy a good hearty laugh.
      If I had known someone who deserved their name on a littler box, I might have done that!
      Enjoy your weekend.

      Delete
  14. Funny---I want to come visit and just watch you and Carlos interact. You guys are just a funny-if I dare say, old couple.

    I did not watch the Grammy's. Beyoncé has never been my cup of tea. I don't find her overly talented in that she can do no wrong. She, like Taylor S., who is over produced and manufactured to the inch of her life. Beyoncé, and her father, thought she was the cat's meow in Destiney's Child and worked her way out of the group so that she can be a STAR!! The group was holding her back.

    I don't follow sports. Hell, I don't even know how the scoring works. I say looks are important but so is loving your momma and being a decent human being. That being said, I will take the brother Jason K. for a spin and see how he acts. What is the return policy. Will I get store credit?

    Madonna has always said she was a so-so singer that can dance a little. She looks like a freak. Just age gracefully. A little nip and tuck here and there to make yourself feel good is fine BUT my god know when to stay at home. Cher has gotten work done for sure but she needs to stay put as well. Another one who has had GOOD strategic work done is Jane Fonda. Now we all love Saint Dolly but the lady has gone too far. She can barley speak and or sing because she is pulled too tight. This is from a lady who sleeps in her make-up. And we never see her husband. 20/20 should of been on that years ago.

    I will take a couple of pairs of the socks. It's been a while but I think I can enjoy the process.

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    1. Who are you calling old???

      Spot on about both Bey and Tay. I agree completely.

      I might take all four on, even at the same time.

      I don't begrudge Madge the nips and tucks and fillers and such, but when you go so far as to be almost unrecognizable, it's sad.
      The socks are from my Upcoming Collection of Ask For a Blowjob without asking for a blow job.

      Delete
  15. aussieguy5:57 PM

    Oh. My. God(dess)! Madge would give poor unsuspecting children nightmares! Let's put her and MTG together on a raft and set 'em free in the Atlantic. Maybe they'd encounter the Titanic...

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    1. Madge and MTG on a raft ...
      Sounds like the start of a promising joke.

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  16. That tweet is the chef's kiss. Good on you!

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    1. I was pretty proud of that one myself!

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  17. I don't know what to say but you have some very ****ed up people over there in America. Thank heavens they are counterbalanced by thousands if not millions of decent, level-headed Americans.

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    1. Sadly, though, it seems as though the ****ed up people over here get all the headlines!

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  18. Cher has the common sense to stay recognisably herself, thank goodness.

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    1. She does look a little different but when you see her, you know her ... not like Madge.

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  19. Anonymous6:44 AM

    Brace yourselves guys. Travis Kelce is a tight end. ;)

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  20. Jalen Hurts - I will put on some Sade and make him relax... You know, Cher has crossed the line many, many times, dear... That terrible Mama Screama II? For example. That was a walking death masque. As for Madge... it is ageism. The KarKrashians have been ridiculous about cosmetic surgery and been rewarded for it. An older woman does it and and OH, she's gone to far? That's the double standard. Thanks for the dirt. Kizzes.

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    1. Jalen is quite the beauty!
      I disagree about it being ageism because Madonna, with each procedure, is looking less and less like herself; Cher at least retains her Cher-ness. I begrudge no one getting something done, but when they take it too far [think Kenny Rogers] it's too much. She doesn't look like Madonna any more.
      xoxo

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  21. It is good to hear from Carlos, I do wish people would leave their faces to nature - not botox and plastic filler. Men in spandex, and great commercial, sounds like fun.

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    1. I do like the uniforms in the sportsball!
      Carlos does enjoy being heard ... he loves his noise!!

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  22. I feel sorry for Madge that she feels the need to look younger and younger. Just live with your face, have a minor tweak here and there if you wish. But making yourself look like a cartoon of yourself drawn by a very bad 5 year old cartoonist really does not help stamp out ageism and misogyny

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    1. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to look your best, especially in the public eye, but she looks nothing like herself any longer.

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  23. I'm late to the game, but as always YOU, sweetpea, are spot on! I will crack up all day over your tweet to MTG! solid gold, darlin, solid gold! xoxo (Madge needs to wear a veil or burka from now on, IMHO, she'll still get all the attention she wants.)

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Say anything, but keep it civil .......