Monday, October 11, 2021

Who Should It Be? Who? Who?

Well, here we are, some fifteen later, and my favorite Bond, Daniel Craig, is hanging up the tuxedo—and, even sadder, the blue square cut bathing suit—after No Time To Die.

And so here we are again, asking that age old question, who will be the new 007.

I was hoping, so hoping, that it would have been Idris Elba, the first Black Bond and a hunk of burning spy, but alas even Idris thinks his time might have passed him by. Although, from what I've read, he might still be interested.

And there are some who say Tom Hardy should be Bond, but when I think of Hardy, I don’t think “Shaken, not stirred,” I think, “Garble Garble Garble.” I mean, if we’re being honest, Hardy is kind of a mush mouth. 

And what about that super man, Henry Cavill? Suave, debonair, handsome as hell, but … he’s Superman, he can’t be Bond, too.

So, who’s next? What about a female Bond, Jane Bond? If the producers really switch it up, which I doubt they will, here are some options:

Charlize Theron; she’s a bad ass, think Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road, but even though she’s South African, she comes off as American and Bond needs to be English, or Scottish, or Irish, or Welsh.

Sorry Charlize.

Clare Foy; yes, she played Queen Elizabeth in The Crown, but she was also Lizbeth Salander in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. But she was rough and tumble in that film, so she could pull off smooth killer spy?

Margot Robbie; I’m gonna say ‘No,’ because I get more Bond girl than I do Bond with Margot.

Thandie Newton; she played a cold-blooded killing machine in Westworld and has co-starred with Little Tommy Cruise in a Mission Impossible film, so she can manage the cool and calm and the action scenes, too. Plus, girl is sexy AF.

Emily Blunt; she played Mary Poppins, people. Let's be blunt: Poppins cannot be Bond.

Naomie Harris; well, she’s already in the franchise—Eve Moneypenny in Skyfall and Spectre—so it might not be a big stretch to say she’s the new Bond.

Good choice, some, but I don’t think the women have a shot. James Bond is a lot of things, but he’s all-man, all English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish or Australian, too, so no American or Canadian Bonds. And he needs to be young enough to continue the series for several years. I don’t wanna be thinking of my Bond with bad knees and arthritis.

So, let’s dish the guys:

Matt Smith, who was the first Prince Philip on The Crown and a former Dr. Who. Smith is debonair, clever, sexy and frightening, and, as I know from scenes from The Crown, he has an ass to die for. And sometimes a great ass is the greatest asset.

Alfred Enoch, from How To Get Away With Murder and the Harry Potter films. He’s a long shot, and some say too young to be Bond, but at thirty-two he is the same age as Sean Connery when he filmed Dr. No and we all know how good Connery was in the role. But Alfred doesn't come off sexy and cool; he's cute, like a puppy Bond

Richard Madden. He’s Scottish, he was Robb Stark on Game of Thrones and Prince Charming in 201s Cinderella, so he can be deadly and suave. And an extra plus is that Richard Madden, who has dated women, might have also been in a  relationship with a man, so Bond, Gay Bond? I could, um, get behind that.

Ben Barnes, who played Prince Caspian in the Narnia films and starred as a mischievous villain in Netflix’s Shadow and Bone. Barnes has that Bond twinkle and wink in his eye so maybe he could pull off the tux … if you get my meaning.

Oliver Jackson-Cohen. He’s got the charm and the good looks and the hot body for those swimsuit scenes I need from my Bond. And he stared in The Invisible Man and on Netflix shows like The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor.

Now, whomever Barbara Broccoli and Michael Wilson choose as the next Bond, it will cause a lot of controversy. I still remember people freaking out over Daniel Craig being chosen in 2005 because he was :::gasp::: blond.

But, if I had my way, and even though he’s nearing fifty, I’d go Idris Elba. Please, And shaken, not stirred.

And if the powers that be really want to shake things up and cast a female lead as Bond, I am Team Thandie Newton all day long.

Huh, maybe have Idris and Thandie plays The Bonds?

Who do you think should take over the role next?


Helen Lashbrook said...

I thought the job had been given to a black lady? I seem to vaguely recall an article, perhaps on the Beeb, with a photo of her (none of those shown here).

krayolakris said...

Charlize was my first thought along with Idris.

Mistress Maddie said...

Im still not done with Craig yet....has was quite one of the best. BUT IF HE MUST go, I could feel Oliver Jackson Cohen slipping in quite comfortably. And if it goes to a woman I think Thandie Newton would nail it for the first woman.

the dogs' mother said...

Since I'm a Harry Potter fan - Alfred Enoch!
xoxo :-)

BootsandBraids said...

I'm a Dr. Who fan - Matt Smith

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I agree that the next Bond will still be male. The film makers aren't THAT progressive. But with all due respect, all your candidates are already too old. They would age out of the role too quickly.

My pick for the next Bond is up-and-coming British actor Jack Bannon, last seen in "Pennyworth." He's only 30 so there's lots of time to get a few movies out of him.

Dave R said...

My vote goes for Jackson-Cohen because of his fur, and his eyes, and he's tall.

brewella deville said...

If my two choices Elba and Hardy are either too old or too grumbly, look up Sean Biggerstaff, the guy who played Oliver Wood in the Harry Potter movie. All grown up, cleans up nicely, and can rock a kilt. I think he might fit the bill.

Moving with Mitchell said...

I’ll leave it up to you. (Although Idris Elba shouldn’t have been overlooked ... or racially profiled... the first time around.)

Bob said...

I don’t think the producers have decided yet, and certainly wouldn’t announce it and take the focus off Craig’s last go-round.

I do think, seriously, that Idris has taken himself out of the running, but I’d still like to see it. Charlize might be good, but I like an edgy female Bond, like Thandie Newton!

Would you ever, really, be done with Craig? But I agree with OJC and, for female Bond, Thandie Newton; she’s fabulous!

If Bond had a puppy, it could be Enoch, but I think he’stoo cute.

I like him, and his fabulous ass, but fear he might come off too pretty and too genteel to be Bond.

I hadn’t heard of Bannon, but looked him up and I’m getting less Bond and ore Bond villain.
PS One of my favorites Oliver Jackson-Cohen is just 34, and if he played Bond, like Craig for fifteen years, he’d only be 49 when he hangs up the tux!

I have enjoyed OJC for quite some time now. He is, as the kids say, dreamy. Well, if the kids are from the 1950s.

I have never heard of this Sean Biggerstaff person, though the name is somehow intriguing, and a quick Google search proves he might be a good choice.

Bob said...

Given the uproar over Daniel Craig's blond hair, I could only imagine the rage at Black Bond, though Idris would have nailed it!

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Daniel Craig in that blue square cut literally gave me a boner in the theater. Literally. God was that hot.
And I think I'd rather like Idris as 007. It may not happen, because racists. But one can only hope. I'm gonna have to say Jackson-Coehn because he looks like he could be in a gay porn. Yes.
Also, Thandie Newton is fantastic in Westworld. She would kick ass.


Bob said...

That was a much needed, Bond-affirming moment.
Idris has already said he's too old, at 49, but, you know, if they asked ... ?
OJC seems to be a hot commodity.
Thandie would kick ass as Bond, though, too!

The Cool Cookie said...

Not a Thandie Newton fan. Emily Blunt, Idris, a whole host of others. But Thandie Newton is a nonstarter for me.

Anonymous said...

Richard Madden. I love Idris but he is too good an actor to play Bond.
Daniel Craig reminds me of Putin, so I can never appreciate him as I would like to.

Bob said...

Mary Poppins as Bond? Will she bring the umbrella???

Madden is also a nice choice, and thank the goddesses that I don't get Putin from Daniel Craig. Oh lordy ....

Agnes Goldberg-DeWoofs said...

But does Daniel Craig have to leave?!?!?!

I agree with some here, Oliver Jackson-Cohen. There's is not a thing he's done I didn't like, and he can look good dressed down or in a tux...he's very suave, and carries himself with panache. And without clothes? Yes. He not to young and not to old. Perfect.

Bob said...

@Agnes Goldberg-DeWoofs
i kind of remember shrieking at the top of my lungs, "WHY?", when I heard Daniel Craig was done paying Bond.
And so, if I can't have him, I'd take Oliver Jackson-Cohen, too!

Steve Reed said...

Matt Smith seems very Bondian in a traditional sense, and Madden would be perfect too. What about Tom Hiddleston?

I suspect the producers are under some pressure to cast a POC Bond or a female Bond, though -- and I'm on board with that too. I think Elba might sadly be too old, though.

uptonking said...

Idris Elba for the win. Although.. and this is an odd choice... actually, I have two.

Tilda Swinton

But my go to? Phoebe Waller-Bridge

I say... reinvent the mystique completely.


Anne Johnson said...

Idris was so damn good in The Wire. If he was still that young, oh wow.