Say My Name, Watch My Mouth, We're Gone ....

Just a couple of tidbits …

Y’all know I loves me some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills—don’t judge—so this week I settled down to watch the reunion. And just a couple of minutes in Andy Cohen was reading a Tweet to Erika Jayne from someone, and then said:

“Bob Slatten said:  ‘I just want #ErikaJayne to explain why she told the ladies in Tahoe that her marriage was lovely and perfect and then a week later she's backing up a moving van to the manse and calling Tom abusive and a cheater. Sure sounds like she knew .... #rhobh’

I stopped the DVR, played it back and, yes, he said my name and read my Tweet. I stopped the DVR and played it back and shrieked for Carlos. It was all good and funny until I realized Erika Jayne never did explain her 72-hour flip from the love of my life to I rented a new house and I’m  outta here.

This morning I dropped Carlos off to get a haircut and then headed back home to get a few things dine while he was being groomed. I was home all of about 15 minutes before the phone rang”

“Hello?”

“Can you come pick me up?”

“You son of a bitch. I just dropped you off!”

“They were able to take me right away.”

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!”

“Sweetie pie you’re on speaker.”

“Oh … hi ladies.”

I hope Carlos explained that my, um, words, were just my way of joking.

That said … We are on our way to Oregon to visit my Dad and then spend some time in Portland because we love it there.

I have no posts planned because we’ve been busy with work—tying up loose ends before leaving—and family—getting Gloria settled—so there will be no posts until we return after the first of November.

Stay safe, place nice, be kind. See y’all soon.

I Didn't Say It

Gina Peddy, a top administrator with the Carroll Independent School District in Southlake, advising  teachers that if they should teach “both sides’ of the Holocaust:

“Just try to remember the concepts of [House Bill] 3979 and make sure that if you have a book on the Holocaust, that you have one that has an opposing, that has other perspectives.”

Seriously. Both sides?

Jane Ledbetter, Superintendent of the Carroll County School District has apologized for this lunacy and pointed out that even in Texas, there is no opposing viewpoint on historical facts.

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Hannah Gadsby, comedian , who has had comedy specials on Netflix, on Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos defending Dave Chappelle’s transphobia:

"Hey Ted Sarandos! Just a quick note to let you know that I would prefer if you didn't drag my name into your mess. You didn't pay me nearly enough to deal with the real world consequences of the hate speech dog whistling you refuse to acknowledge, Ted. F**k you and your amoral algorithm cult … I do shits with more back bone than you. That's just a joke! I definitely didn't cross a line because you just told the world there isn't one."

Gadsby's response came after Sarandos cited her as an example of Netflix's commitment to LGBTQ+ inclusivity in his response to the Chappelle controversy. But um, Ted? Just because you have LGBTQ+ talent on your network doesn’t mean you get a pass on bigotry.

Hate is never funny.

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Tucker Carlson, Fox News liar, saying that having the vaccine kills people:

“Like almost everyone his age, Colin Powell was fully vaccinated against COVID. And yet according to his family and doctors, Colin Powell died of COVID. Of course, that fact does not make his death any less sad nor is it unusual. Many thousands of vaccinated Americans have died of COVID. Former CDC Director Robert Redfield announced just today that about 40% of all recent COVID deaths in the state of Maryland, for example, are among those who’ve had both shots. So, what does that tell you, exactly? Well, it tells you, you’ve been lied to. Vaccines may be highly useful for some people, but across a population, they do not solve COVID. That’s not speculation, it is an observable fact. People who’ve been fully vaccinated can still get the virus, they can still transmit the virus to others, and they can still die from COVID. Colin Powell is hardly the only example of that.”

First off, I don’t see Tucker, er, Fucker running for the hills even though he had the vaccine, mandated by his employer, so it sounds like another lie.

To be fair, Colin Powell was vaxxed, but he was eighty-five and suffered from Multiple myeloma cancers and Parkinson’s.

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Sarah Hyland, actress who has a chronic condition called kidney dysplasia—she has had kidney transplants in 2012 and 2017—on the vaccine and vaccine mandates:

“[Getting vaccinated] means the world to me. I’m alive today because of science. With the medical field and where medicine is right now, it’s just lifesaving. Because I’ve gotten my booster shot, I feel even more comfortable than I did after receiving my two doses. To those that are on the fence, you can do as much research on Google as you want, but it’s science and they’re true medical professionals making these vaccines. If someone like me with such a compromised immune system is not only eligible to get it, and very much willing to do so, it’s safe for you out there. It can only protect you.”

Good on her for speaking out. We need more people to realize that the vaccine might save their life, but also the lives of those around them.

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Bill Cassidy, GOP Senator from Louisiana, on saying aging leaders of all three branches of government should take cognition tests:

“It’s usually noticeable. So anybody in a position of responsibility who may potentially be on that slope, that is of concern. And I’m saying this as a doctor. I’m told that there have been senators in the past who, at the end of their Senate terms were senile. I’m told that was true of senators of both parties.”

And there have been presidents in your own party who have been demented due to STDs and yet you never suggested this before.

Go have a chat with Miss Lindsey about the Brazilian fashionistas flooding our borders and tell him to take a test.

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Pete Buttigieg, Transportation Secretary, on the right’s outrage, and homophobia, over him taking paternity leave after he and Chasten had twins:

“Look, paid family leave is important. It’s important as a matter of family values. It’s important to our economy. And one more thing that I think is maybe underappreciated. When somebody welcomes a new child into their family and goes on leave to take care of that child, that’s not a vacation. It’s work. It’s joyful, wonderful, fulfilling work, but it is work. And it’s time that our nation join pretty much every other country in the world and recognize that.”

And it isn’t lost on anyone with active brain cells, that the people attacking Pete are from the so-called Family Values party.

Only, not for same-sex families, I guess.

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Bobservations

When Carlos was dealing with moving his Aunt Gloria back to the family home in Mexico City, the hardest call he had to make was to Gloria to tell her. Even at 95, she’s feisty and conniving, and told Carlos that if anyone tried to take her out of the house in Salvatierra she would call the police. Carlos replied:

“Good, they can help get you into the car.”

The good news is that she was neither feisty or conniving and did not call the police, but went nicely, and even bought dinner for the family members taking her home. We spoke with her Tuesday morning and she’s seemed happy and glad to be back with her sister-in-law and a great-nice.

Hopefully, she will thrive back at home.

Tuxedo just wants Travis Tritt to hear two words: Eric Clapton. He also opposed mandates until he realized he wouldn’t be making as much money by cancelling shows.

Take a seat Travis Karen. 

Did you ever wonder if arm wrestling wasn’t invented so men could hold hands and stare into one another’s eyes?

I have.

The GOP said Bill Clinton would make the country socialist during his eight years in office? The GOP said Obama would do the same during his eight years as president? The GOP said the same about Biden.

Anyone on the right care to explain why, after 16+ years America is not a socialist country despite all their fearmongering?

Oh yeah, lies.

Timothy Hale-Cusanelli, an Army reservist charged in the January 6 insurrection, has been demoted and discharged from the reserves.

One look at that face should have been clue enough.

Facebook is planning to change its company name next week to reflect its focus on building the metaverse.

I suggest LieBook …MisinformationBook … FuckMarkZuckerbergBook.

At a retreat for the National Republican Senatorial Committee last week, Thing 45 railed about the witch hunt and, even though no one  asked, made sure to tell the crowd he is not  into golden showers:

“It was all phony shit, ok. I’m not into golden showers. You know the great thing, our great First Lady — ‘That one,’ she said, ‘I don’t believe that one.’”

She doesn’t believe that one.

ESPN college football and basketball reporter Allison Williams is leaving the network over parent company Disney’s COVID-19 vaccine mandate.

Good. Bye.

Daniel Rodriguez, the Thing 45 loon who stormed the Capitol on January 6 and was arrested for electroshocking D.C. Metropolitan Police Officer Mike Fanone a month after he was identified spilled his guts to the FBI after his arrest, repeatedly crying as he told special agents he was a “fucking piece of shit.”

He got one thing right.

Assistant Health Secretary Dr. Rachel Levine, the first out trans Senate-confirmed official in US history, was sworn in as Four-Star Admiral in the US Public Health Service Commissioned Corps., becoming the first out trans four-star officer in US history.

This additional honorific makes her not only the highest ranking official in the US Public Health Service, but it also makes her the first woman to get four-stars in the service.

The march goes on …

In this week’s edition of Would You Hit It we have Alabama born Southern gentleman Clint Mauro, a tall drink of water.

So, the question is: Would You Hit It? Yes or No.

Architecture Wednesday: Ivy Hill Urban Oasis

I have looked for color, not just red, for the Duchess Deedles, and I found some, in this charming 1925 Spanish Mediterranean home in the Ivy Hill neighborhood of Oakland, California.

Each space has been meticulously restored with a blend of authentic period details and new features; a techie’s dream, the residence has been automated for just about everything from climate control to window shades to audio to lighting, you can run the house from your smart phone.

But it’s the house I love; the original brick walkway, the large front porch, the Dutch front door. And the inside, while electronically 2021, still has the charm it did in 1925. From the front door, you can see the living area and dining room, and then straight through to the backyard, giving the 2,704 square-foot floorplan an indoor/outdoor flow.

The entryway features an original restored stair railing, radiator heater and a custom niche, while a large, light filled living room with its original fireplace—though converted to gas—stretches the length of the house and opens to the large Ipe deck. Remote operated shades in the living room also double as a screen for the home theatre, making the living area media center.

The kitchen has been reworked into a modern-day space with gourmet commercial appliances, a large soapstone island, lots of storage, soda water/beer taps, coffee maker space, BlueStar commercial range with double oven and 24” griddle, and two sinks. The breakfast nook in the kitchen allows for easy casual entertaining.

The dining room can be closed or left open with glass French doors, and easy access to the kitchen via a Dutch door. Custom leaded glass details were handcrafted by the owner and contain over 1200 pieces of colorful and beveled glass. Finishing out the main level is one of my favorite spaces: the powder room with meadow-inspired Heath tile designed to represent blades of grass as it visually meets the floral Liberty wallpaper, complete with an Italian Murano glass chandelier.

Upstairs are four generous bedrooms, with the primary bedroom featuring a custom see-through DaVinci fireplace, matching bespoke bench seats, dual closets and a vaulted shiplap ceiling. The sky-lit primary bath offers a steam shower and large clawfoot tub with a view of the East Bay hills through the fireplace, plus dual sinks, custom cabinetry and a separate toilet room.

Out back is a sunny yard surrounded by extensive succulent plantings and a raised vegetable garden. The deck opens from the living room, breakfast nook and kitchen and features a cozy built-in firepit, and drops into the outdoor oasis with a lawn, paver walkway and driveway, secret grotto area and a cool original Airstream ‘Guest House.’

This home as all the history of a 100-year-old beauty and the modern technology of a 21^st century hoe. It is, or was, on the market for $1,395,000. And recently sold for $2.1 million.

A bargain.

Dwell

Lastly ...

 ...now, this one doesn't have a name, but I'm kinda thinking he doesn't need one.

Or Perhaps I Could Go With This ...

 ... though the only name that comes to mind is WTF.
Perhaps you have some ideas as to what I might call this Halloween f%kery?

Another Option ...

 ...for Halloween is this look that I am thinking of calling Redneck Stripper Yeti.

Family

We’re going through some stuff with Carlos’ Aunt Gloria in Mexico. She’s ninety-five and living with a good friend of hers, but Gloria is declining and the woman, who shares the home with her ninety-something-year-old brother, cannot manage caring for two elderly people. So Carlos has decided to move Gloria back to the family home in Mexico City where there are more people to care for her, and a livelier environment, which might be better for her. He told her yesterday and there were tears and angry words and begging, but this is for the best. Carlos called his mother, who lives in the family home and told her about the plans and the conversations, and she told Carlos to tell me she was sorry I had to hear about the family troubles.

I said to Carlos these things, all true …

Remember, I’m the one whose maternal grandfather came home from work one day and found his wife in a compromising position with the next-door neighbor and shot and killed the man.it was Texas in the 1940, so my grandfather’s punishment was that my grandmother was granted her petition for divorce.

Remember, I’m the one who found out when I was in high school that my mother’s father, the grandfather in the above story, was not dead, as I had been told my whole life, because I came home from school one day and he was in the house.

Remember, I’m the one whose cousin married her uncle. Yes, years ago my cousin, Leigh, married our Uncle Rod. To be fair, Rod wasn’t a blood relative, he was the son of my paternal grandmother’s second husband but he was still an uncle to us, and it was  quite a strange thing for me, as a kid, to comprehend.

Remember, I’m the one whose aunt was living next door to my paternal grandmother, and her name was on the deed to my grandmother’s house, so my aunt sold her house and my grandmother’s house so she could move to Las Vegas and be near her daughter ….my cousin Leigh who married Uncle Rod.

I said to Carlos, tell you mother she needn’t worry what I think about her family strife, I have her beat by a mile.

Our Seven-and-Twenty-one Anniversary ... Set To Music

I say ‘Seven Twenty-one’ because it’s been six years legally wed and twenty-one years, um, illegally married? 

And that’s quite a milestone for someone who never thought this would happen to him. But I was fine with that; I had a nice life, good friends, I dated, I had a home I loved, a job I loved, but that all changed when I got a computer and went into one of those old AOL—show of hands, who remembers AOL—chatrooms and suddenly there was someone talking to me.

It was not the way I’d expected it to go, and I was certain it would amount to nothing, but what are a few private messages and some emails? Right? What could go wrong, or right. So, there were phone and actual handwritten letters and cards, and pictures exchanged and life-stories told. He wanted to meet, but he lived in Miami and I lived in California, and couldn’t be much further apart; so, I flew to Miami but …

Quick aside: I used to be the kind of person that didn’t bold chances like flying 3,000 miles to meet a perfect …and oy, did he sound perfect … stranger in a city I’d never been to before, and, as the day approached for my flight, I actually created a story in my head that I would take the flight, but get off the plane when we had a stopover on Houston., spend the week in some cheeseball hotel in Houston, and then fly back home and tell everyone that Carlos was nice but he wasn’t the one for me; and then I would ignore him online and by phone—did I invent “ghosting”—but I decided to, as I told in another post, Shake the Etch-a-Sketch and go.

I stayed on the plane and in Ft. Lauderdale, there he was, in a  freaking bowtie no less, with a bouquet of roses. He looked exactly like his pictures, but much more handsome and adorable. We spent eleven days together … in Miami …in July! We went to Key West and watched the sunset and … yeah … and we went to South Beach and swam in the ocean and … yeah … we stayed at his house and I met his Aunt Gloria and … yeah, only a lot quieter because she’s a light sleeper. 

Then it was over, and I was flying home and what in the hell was this? Was it a 3,000-mile-long distance relationship? A 3,000-mile-long distance booty call?

It was more, and we both knew it because the next month Carlos was on the West Coast, meeting my friends and my parents and … yeah … in San Francisco and Lake Tahoe and … yeah … in my parents’ house though we were much quieter because they were right downstairs! 

Then that was over; what next? We called and emailed still; he spoke with my parents and friends and I spoke with his, until it became clear that I would move to Miami. I had a job that would transfer well to Florida and, well, since that leap to Florida to meet him turned out so well, how hard would a leap to Florida to live with him be?

So, where does this all lead? It leads to today, twenty-one years after I stepped off another plane in Florida, though this time I wouldn't be staying a week or so. Twenty-one years ago today Carlos and I started our life together and there was no looking back; only forward.

Fast forward to 2014 and the reality that marriage equality was happening, and we had longed talked about being married; we wanted that; we wanted the world, our friends and family, coworkers, strangers, the check-out girl at the Food Lion, the waiter who brought me another cocktail, to know that we weren’t just a couple, we weren’t close friends, we weren’t partners—though those are all good things—we wanted everyone to know that we are Mister and Mister.

On October 17, 2014—fourteen years to the day that I moved to Miami—we were back across the country in Bellingham, Washington, to be married with my father as a witness. I seriously never thought I would see the day that I would ... that I could ... marry Carlos,  but we did just that. I remember as a kid—a not-yet-out-but-knowing-I-was-different kid—telling my mother that I would never get married, but I would have a maid to take care of my kids. I remember that story and realize now that might have been my first shot at coming out—as a six-year-old, I think—because, even then, I never thought I could get married, never thought I’d be allowed to get married and create my own version of family and home.

And so we did it, and it’s been seven-and-twenty-one years. And while it has been lovely, raucous, and fun, and there have been down times and sad times and bad times, but, as Elaine Stritch would say—and god am I gay … Elaine Stritch!—we’re still here.

And looking forward, always forward, and while I didn’t say this myself—Charlotte said it in one of those Sex and the City movies … again, god I’m gay—I like to say that I am happy every single day with Carlos. Oh, not all day, every day, because that’s life, but every single day for the last twenty-one years, for some small or large part of the day, I have realized how happy I am and how happy he makes me, and that I am still crazy in love with him.

And that’s something to celebrate!