Bobservations

A couple of quick Carlos stories … we went by our bank to cash a check for one of our visitors, and the teller asked Carlos what the other name on our account was—mind you, I was standing right next to him—and he said:

“I’m sorry?”

“What is the name of the other person on the account?”

I raised my hand and Carlos said:

“I don’t know."

“It’s me,” I said.

“Oh yeah.”

Later that same day, as our guests were shopping, Carlos wanted to buy some cologne. He asked me what I liked, and I told him whatever he wanted, and he said:

“Something cheap.”

That’s Carlos. I told him that cheap isn’t always best and just to find a scent he liked and get it. So, he did, and when he asked the girl at the counter how much it was, and she said,

“Ninety dollars.”

I told her that Carlos usually buys his cologne at the gas station; or at a 7/11 where he can get cologne and a Slurpee™ for $1.99. She burst out laughing and I said,

“Don’t laugh. He buys my Christmas presents at a gas station.”

Carlos was not amused. The salesgirl and I bonded over shared laughter.

On the flip side, this is Carlos in his youth, rocking a Speedo; I thought he’d hate for me to share this, but he saw the photo again and said:

“I look good.”

So, there you go.

On the flip side of the flip side, my mother used to sew our clothes when we were kids and, yes, she made that outfit for me, with the belt that matches the shirt that matches the hat that makes me look like I should have been between the Construction Worker and the Leather Man, as the Gay Designer, in the Village People.

What.Was.I.Thinking?

Nowadays,  _____ is claiming the Democrats are a mob because, you know, we speak out against him and all those Republicans who goose-step along with him … like Mitch McTurtle McConnell who was confronted by some angry diners while eating dinner with his wife, Elaine Chao,  _____ 's Secretary of Transportation who has a lot of “private time “on her schedule, at Havana Rumba.

Four men shouted at McConnell:

“Why don’t you get out of here? Why don’t you leave the entire country?”

I’ve no problem with that …just sayin’ … because Mitch McConnell is the Devil.

Remember what he did to Merrick Garland. Remember how he vowed to “plow right through” the opposition to Kavanaugh and force Kavanaugh on us. Remember how he agreed with _____ that survivors of sexual assault and women’s rights activists were crisis actors being paid to protest. Remember how he’s taking his time with any congressional response to the assassination of Jamal Khashoggi.

Remember all of it.

I’m not saying all Republicans are stupid, but …

This week, with the news of the “caravan of migrants” headed north, a woman in Minnesota … effing Minnesota …. is worried the migrants will somehow cross the border freely into this country and work their way north and, wait for it, it’s the epitome of stupid, steal her lake house.

Yes. It’s true.

He sinks lower … the week _____’s Department of Health and Human Services is spearheading an effort to legally … legally … abolish transgender people at a federal level, and define gender “as a biological, immutable condition determined by genitalia at birth”.

Yes; they are. HHS stated in a memo that key government agencies needed to adopt an explicit and uniform definition of gender would define sex as either male or female, unchangeable, and determined by the genitals that a person is born with.

This is the beginning of erasing anyone who doesn’t fit within the rich, old, white—or orange—men category.

This slays me …and I’m a white guy, albeit a white gay guy.

A new survey from YouGov and The Economist found that ____ voters actually believe men are more discriminated against than LGBTQ people, most ethnic minorities, and women.

Seriously. Men, white men, are facing discrimination?

Fuck ‘em.

Speaking of mobs, here’s one _____ had no problem with because this one went after Nancy Pelosi.

Pelosi was hounded by a group of protesters in Florida—some cursing and calling her a “communist”—as she attended a campaign event for congressional hopeful Donna Shalala in Coral Gables:

“You don’t belong here you f**king communist f**k.”

“You and your f**king Democrats.”

Again, I don't have a problem with this, except this confrontation was organized by Nelson Diaz, the chairman of the Republican Party in Miami-Dade County. You know, the party of jobs, not mobs.

This week, after we learned that his administration wants to erase Transgender Americans and identify people only by their genitalia at birth—meaning, I’m guessing that _____ is a mushroom?—the Fat Bastard’s website is selling and LGBTQ shirt, the _____Pride Tee, A white T-shirt emblazoned with a watercolor rainbow and the words “LGBTQ for _____”.

Let me just say this, if you are an LGBTQ American and you support _____ then you can not-so-kindly fuck off.

Last month, the news broke about that next year’s Super Bowl Halftime performers would be Maroon 5, and that they would be performing at the Super Bowl in Atlanta … the same city in the midst of a black Renaissance, where dozens of rap, hip-hop, gospel and soul performers live …and yet the NFL picked a bunch of white guys who sing mindless, innocuous elevator pop.

But it turns out that Maroon 5 was second choice for the gig after the NFL tried to hire Rihanna for the gig and she turned them down because of, wait for it, I love it, it’s epic. Colin Kaepernick.

She stands with Kap, and she said ‘No.’

If you needed any more proof the Saudis murdered Jamal Khashoggi, look no further than the fact that one of his ALLEGED murderers left the Saudi consulate by the back door, wearing Khashoggi’s clothes, a fake beard, and glasses, after killing and dismembering the journalist.

And _____still sees nothing to be worried about.

God, I really need a palate cleanser and so I give you hot … hot …HOT …French model Aurelien Muller.

Muller has walked for Dolce & Gabbana, Dirk Bikkembergs, Bespoken and Marin Keehn, and has appeared on countless magazine covers, but who cares … he’s hot.

And he irons naked.

And rocks the tighty whities.

Swoon!