I Didn't Say It ...

Nancy Pelosi, House Speaker, responding to _____’s real-time Twitter attack on former Ukraine ambassador Marie Yovanovitch during her testimony:

“He made a mistake. He should not frivolously throw out insults, but that’s what he does. I think part of it is his own insecurity as an imposter. I think he knows full well that he’s in that office way over his head. And so he has to diminish everyone else.”

Little men, tiny penises, giant egos.

And they hate to be taken down by women!

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Laura Ingraham, Fox asshat, saying _____ cannot be impeached for bribery because the aid went through:

“Okay. Here’s the problem, yeah, of course Nancy, it’s in the Constitution, we can read. The president may be impeached for bribery, treason, or high crimes and misdemeanors. But even assuming the Democrats’ strained and ridiculous interpretation of the facts, and I do not assume them but just for the sake of their argument, attempted bribery isn’t in the Constitution. Remember, Ukraine got its military aid. It was 14 days delayed. Big deal.”

Except, Laura, you ignorant tool, the aid was only released when the story went public because the whistleblower spoke up.

Now, sit down and play dumb.

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Lisa Kennedy, Fox Business host, slammed _____ for his Tweet attacks on former U.S. ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch:

“Should the president be tweeting at her mid-hearing? No, it makes him look like a big dumb baby. And he makes her look like a victim and if he’d just let it go, the last two days of hearings and testimony would’ve been a snoozefest.”

Not really a snoozefest because we learned what a liar and a traitor the Big Dumb Baby really is, Lisa.

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William Barr, Attorney General, defending _____’s use of executive authority in bribing the president of Ukraine for Biden dirt:

“While the president has certainly thrown out the traditional Beltway playbook and punctilio, he was up front about what he wanted to do and the people decided they wanted him to serve as president.”

Oh Billy, sit down and wait for _____ to give you a treat, and listen up:

When your Boss was inaugurated, the GOP controlled the Senate, the GOP controlled the House, the first investigation into _____’s illegal activities was opened by Republican Rod Rosenstein, with republican Robert Mueller in charge,

You lie, and we all know it.

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Pope Francis, saying politicians who rage against homosexuals, gypsies and Jews remind him of Hitler:

“It is not coincidental that at times there is a resurgence of symbols typical of Nazism. And I must confess to you that when I hear a speech (by) someone responsible for order or for a government, I think of speeches by Hitler in 1934, 1936. With the persecution of Jews, gypsies, and people with homosexual tendencies, today these actions are typical (and) represent ‘par excellence’ a culture of waste and hate. That is what was done in those days and today it is happening again.”

First off, Frankie, it’s not a “tendency” okurrrrr.

And secondly, do not even pretend to act like you might be an iota of LGBTQ+-friendly, because any man who lets children be raped by adults, and does nothing to stop it, or to punish the rapists, can simply fuck off.

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Steve Scalise, House Minority Whip, continuing to support _____ for pardoning two Army officers who were accused of war crimes because, well, wait for his asshatted response:

“I’ve heard, from our men and women in uniform for years that they felt that they were sidelined because they needed a team of attorneys before they could return fire in the battlefield. I think our troops’ morale is much higher—troops that I’ve heard from—because this has been a concern.”

Seriously, pardoning murderers boosts morale?

By that logic pardoning murderers who kill civilians should make us all feel safer.

Scalise is the dickhead Republican who was shot while playing baseball, but I guarantee he has no desire to forgive or pardon his killer, who was killed himself that same day.

Of note: _____ pardoned Army 1st Lt. Clint Lorance and Maj. Mathew Golsteyn despite concerns from Pentagon officials that the pardons could undermine the military justice system.

The military brass don’t like the idea, but asshatted Republicans love it.

More guns, more loons!

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Kenneth Starr, FOX News commentator best known for investigating Clinton administration, wondering if,  after Ambassador Sondland testified, senators would pressure _____ to resign:

“The real issue is, the senators are watching. Are senators going to now say in light of what we hear today, it’s going to be a long day even with the ambassador alone, in light of what we have heard, ‘We need to make a trip down to the White House?’ That historic example set during the Nixon presidency. From what I’ve been able to glean I don’t think that’s going to happen. But obviously what happens today could—has the potential to be a game-changer. There will be articles of impeachment, I think we’ve known that … It’s over … This is his position, we now know that the president, in fact, committed the crime of bribery … Articles of impeachment are being drawn up if they haven’t already been drawn up.”

Now, all we need is the GOP members of the House and Senate to strap on their balls, straighten their spines, put country over party AND over _____, and get this criminal out of office.

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Bobservations

Carlos and I rarely fight. Oh, we have disagreements and discussions, but they hardly ever escalate into some sort of yelling kinda thing; we generally agree on most things, and those that we don’t, well, in the end, he does it my way. I kid; we just compromise. But … after his recent hernia surgery, I  made it clear he wasn’t to lift anything, and that included dogs and cats; he even slept in the guest room, door closed, to keep the cats from jumping on him.

We had his follow-up appointment with the surgeon last week, who was pleased with Carlos’ progress and happy he had very little pain. He gave the ‘OK’ for Carlos to resume playing the trumpet but cautioned him against lifting anything over twenty pounds for the next month or so.

And that’s the rub … we did the groceries and he tried to carry the bags. I reminded him that I would be carrying the bags, and once we got home, he could put things away. We went to CostCo and, again, he tried lifting a box filled with groceries and again I reminded him that I would be carry the boxes and once we got home, he could put things away. We also bought dog food—a fifty-pound bag because it was the only one they had—and AGAIN he tried to lift the bag and yada yada yada … We left the bag in the car because it was too big for the Pet Food Cupboard™, but on Sunday, I heard him in the garage, in the car, opening the back, and then coming inside.

He is NOT carrying that dog food, I thought. And then I heard the bag open and heard the contents being emptied into another container for storage and I went mad. But I held it in. I calmly did my thing. I went into the kitchen to fix dinner and when he came in, I got mad all over again, and  to cover my anger I threw a spoon into the sink from across the room.

“Is something wrong?” He said oh … so … sweetly.

5 … 4… 3 … 2 … 1

"QUIT FUCKING LIFTING THINGS! THE DOCTOR TOLD YOU NOT TO LIFT ANYTHING, AND I’VE TOLD YOU TO LET ME DO IT AND YOU WON’T LISTEN. STOP PICKING STUFF UP!!”

“But I feel—”

“NO ONE CARES HOW YOU FEEL! YOU’RE NOT A DOCTOR! I DON’T WANT YOU TO HAVE TO UNDERGO SURGERY AGAIN JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU’RE SMARTER THAMN A DOCTOR. YOU’RE NOT.

“STOP.LIFTING.THINGS.”

Then I asked if he wanted chopped scallions on his soup, because once the rage was released, I was in a good mood.

Carlos, on the other hand, hasn’t lifted another thing.

A Straight Pride group held their event in Dallas over the weekend and … three people showed up.

So, either there are only three straight people in Dallas, or the people of Dallas see a ridiculous stunt when it advertises on Facebook. Which was where the anti-LGBTQ Straight Pride group Protecting Our Next Generations [PONG] promised to discuss abortion [hint: it’s murder], marriage values [hint: Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve or Madam and Eve] and genders [hint: there are just two].

PS Two of the men that showed up were from Boston and the third was a Proud Boy from Hateville, USA, so not a single person living in Dallas stopped by.

Go figure.

Speaking of dumb homophobes, a _____ supporter in Minneapolis left an ignorant comment about a  gay bar after _____ held a rally in that city last month, and her ignorance went viral.

The gay bar in question, the Saloon nightclub, protested BLOTUS by flying the giant _____ baby balloon from its rooftop and this irritated _____ supporters so much that one, Pamela Ogletree, took to Twitter to proclaim that Saloon would no longer be getting her business.

A commenter asked: “Were you a frequent visitor??”

And one finally told her: “Cuz it’s a gay bar, Pamela.”

And suddenly a meme was born; one person turned the phrase, “It’s a gay bar, Pamela,” into a rainbow-colored enamel pin—it’s available for $10 with 50% of proceeds going to Out Front Minnesota, the state’s leading LGBTQ organization. T-shirts were made; signs posted; Tweets sent out.

“It’s a gay bar, Pamela” is the new “That’s so dumb.”

Pamela Ogletree has not responded to media requests seeking to understand how long she’d patronized the Saloon before it “lost her business.”

Deplorables are dumb.

Last Summer _____ said he would be pursuing gun control measures after a series of shootings in El Paso and Dayton. This fall he quietly dropped the plan because he was told it would hurt his election chances.

Earlier this Fall, he said he would meet with representatives of the vaping industry to try and stem the deaths from vaping. Now he’s shelved those plans, too, because, again,it would hurt his election chances.

Plainly: _____ wants guns and vaping to continue no matter how many are injured or killed because his winning reelection is more important than human life,

That’s all.

Last week, Lil Nas X became the first out gay musician, and rapper, to take home a Country Music Association Award when he and collaborator Billy Ray Cyrus won the “Musical Event of the Year” trophy for the remix of “Old Town Road,” which spent an unprecedented 20 weeks at # 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. They beat out the duo of Brooks & Dunn, the duo of Garth Brooks and Blake Shelton, and the group of Maren Morris and the Brothers Osborne.

Although Lil Nas X is the first gay musician to win a CMA for his own song, it isn’t the first time the show has handed out an award to an LGBTQ+ person. Brandy Clark and Shane McAnally both won for co-writing Kacey Musgraves’ LGBTQ+ anthem “Follow Your Arrow” in 2014. 

Still ….

Jon Bon Jovi is hot; younger and older; hot and hot. And compassionate.

Bon Jovi dedicated his newest song “Unbroken” to honor veterans suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder [PTSD]), but he also, through his JBJ Soul Foundation, donated $500,000 to help build the Walter Reed facility in Washington DC for the homeless veterans.

The new facility expects 300 residents and offers a small gym, a courtyard, and a computer room. Residents can use the lounge as a meeting place among the occupants or when their family somes for a visit.

In another effort to help support veterans suffering from PTSD, all the proceeds from Bon Jovi’s song “Unbroken” will be donated to the Patriotic Service Dog Foundation, where veterans and first responders get to be paired with service dogs.

Jon Bon Jovi also owns and runs two Soul Kitchen restaurants in New Jersey where people in need can get a meal, and pay only what they can afford.

Hot, and compassionate.

Less hot, and less compassionate, and entirely full of crap, Dave Cathy’s Christian-owned Chick-fil-A has promised to stop giving to anti-LGBTQ charities, a vow it has made at least once before, and broken.

Don’t hold your breath, and don’t eat their crap chicken.

And finally, Isaac Churchill.

I don’t know much about him except that he’s a dreamy model with luscious hair …and lips, and really doesn’t mind taking his clothes off.

Oh, and I believe he lives in Milan. Dreamy.

Architecture Wednesday: Campo Loft

Not a barn this week, but a 100-year- old workshop and storage building transformed into a gorgeous, simple, small home on the island of Ibiza.

The architect used concrete columns and steel beams to mimic the Ibizan ‘sabina beam’ roof and paved the way for creating this mix of rustic and industrial. And that lead to its name; ‘Campo Loft means ‘industrial open living space on the field’.

The beautiful traditional building structure has been preserved to keep the character of the typical Ibizan architecture with basic and local materials used to rebuild it; a concrete floor, chalk and mud plastered stone walls and ‘sabina beams’ made from trees that only grow on the island. One of the newer materials incorporated into the house is steel; powder-coated steel is used for the window frames and doors, and there’s a custom-made raw steel kitchen.

The building had been unused for many years, so electricity, water and sewage were not present; the architects added all these creature comforts. Water comes from a private well and there are solar panels installed for hot water, floor heating and electricity, making the home completely off the grid and self-sustainable.

The  south side of the home is wide open to the views all over the valley and is connected to a private terrace. The two bedrooms are on the north side corners of the building, to keep them dark and cool. Then there’s a dining space with build-in bench and roof light, that really made this ‘lost’ space part of the loft. A bathroom with free standing tub and windows to the main room to get a view of the fireplace and outside while you’re bathing.

This is my kind of home; a bit old, a bit new, and not so large that you can get lost in it.

Plus … Spain.

Click to emBIGGERate ...

HomeDSGN

The Nieuw

NRA Tells Doctors To 'Stay In Their Own Lane'

The anti-gun movement has a new set of allies as people in the medical field are now finding themselves in the crosshairs of the National Rifle Association [NRA].

Doctors, nurses, anesthesiologists and others in the medical profession began posting photos of blood-stained scrubs, graphic X-rays and images of bloodstained operating rooms in response to a Twitter post from the NRA promoting a news release which took aim at medical professionals calling for gun restrictions; that NRA post read:

"Someone should tell self-important anti-gun doctors to stay in their lane.”

Forensic pathologist Judy Melinek saw that NRA Tweet as she was preparing to perform an autopsy on a victim who died from a gunshot wound and she fired off a reply as she headed to the morgue:

Dr Melinek has seen more carnage and trauma than most during her career, having spent months examining remains from the 9/11 World Trade Centre attack, and she was also called to the wreckage of American Airlines flight 587, which crashed shortly after taking off in New York in November 2001 with all 260 people aboard killed, so she knows of what she Tweets; by the time she finished her shift, the tweet had gone viral.

During the two years she worked in the Office of Chief Medical Examiner of the City of New York, Dr Melinek was also clinical instructor in forensic medicine at New York University and has written a book about her experiences.

Other doctors around the country also took to Twitter to vent about the NRA's stance:

In an opinion piece for Vox, Dr Melinek said medical professionals had a responsibility to speak up about gun regulations, pointing out the push for tobacco regulations in response to the lung cancer epidemic caused by cigarettes.

"As scientists and caregivers, we doctors are in a unique position to understand the scale of human suffering caused by guns. We have to do something. We didn't choose this fight, but we if we have to, we can take on the NRA."

Bravo to the men and women who try to save lives ruined, or taken, from gun violence; and for standing up to the NRA who doesn’t give a rat’s behind about gun violence as long as they are making their blood money.

It’s time for the NRA to get out of our lane and let us begin protecting Americans from death by guns.

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Tuesday Thought #3

Tuesday Thought #2

Tuesday Thought #1

I Should Be Laughing: Renny Goes To Jimmy's House

Fearful of going further, Renny remained in the doorway after Jimmy burst into the house and began shouting to his wife. She waited by the door, taking the entire picture in, amazed that her brother, her brother, lived this way.

Pushed to the wall, underneath a window wrapped like a gift in aluminum foil, was a long, hideous couch upholstered in the kind of floral pattern the likes of which she’d seen only on bad television shows. Neon colors, almost; blues and pinks and greens; the flowers so grotesquely overbearing that it hurt to look at them. Filling one corner was an easy chair, more of an uneasy chair, she grimaced, a used La-Z-Boy draped beneath an offensive red-and-black crocheted afghan. The rest of the room consisted of a few occasional tables in a Mediterranean style popular decades ago.

Plastic milk crates, stolen from the back lot of the Dairy Queen in town, used as storage, held everything from toys and books and records, to a collection of tabloids; a National Enquirer shrine. For extra storage, several filthy cinder blocks, along the wall, had thick lengths of bowed plywood stretching between them. Renny couldn’t believe people actually lived like this anymore, unless they were in college somewhere; state college, at that. Renny, herself, hadn’t lived in a place as awful as this since Patrick, and that was two lifetimes ago.

“C’mon in, Ren,” Jimmy said gleefully, before apologizing. “Sorry it’s a mess in here, but with a kid—.”

“It’s okay.” She spoke softly, moving through the doorway, out of the fresh air and sunlight of the front porch and into the dark and stale living room. When the door closed behind her, she became instantly claustrophobic. “It’s…nice.”

“Emma!” Jimmy barked down the short hall and Renny looked beyond her brother, into the hallway itself, which lead to a back door, slightly open to reveal a green patch of hillside and the promise of blue sky and untarnished air.

“Emma?”

Instead of Jimmy’s wife answering back, there was a stabbing shriek, followed by the staccato sobs of a child crying. Jimmy raced to the back of the house and disappeared into a side room, leaving Renny trapped in this crypt like room. She stepped back to the door, ready to open it and step outside, when she heard the crying stop, and listened to her brother cooing and laughing. Before she could move, Jimmy was back, with a red-faced boy whose eyes had only begun to dry.

“This is Lyle,” he said proudly, walking his son into the living room to meet his Aunt Renny who, knowing to prepare for the worst, considering her surroundings, put on a false smile. As Jimmy brought Lyle out of the dark hallway and into the slightly brighter living room, her mind spun with what she might say, precisely chosen words that wouldn’t show her true feelings, but she grew mute looking into the faces of a boy and his father.

In spite of his obvious crying fit, she could see that Lyle was gorgeous. He had the same eyes as Jimmy, as the whole Seaton family, Renny realized, ice blue and clear, like the sky reflected in the clean chrome bumper of a classic car. Long eyelashes, dripped with tears, fluttered and he smiled at her. Jimmy tousled Lyle’s curly blond mop, as iridescent as the silk from a fresh stalk of Sloughhouse corn. While everything else she had seen since coming in the house reminded her of trash TV, this child looked like the star of a pricey ad campaign for baby food or diapers…even luxury cars.

“This is your Aunt Renny, Lyle,” Jimmy told his son, nudging the boy closer. Renny was stunned as he came to her, unsteadily, but without his father’s helping hand. He stared at her face, and she got the impression that he knew she was family by the way he smiled so sweetly. At that moment, Renny stopped caring how Jimmy lived, and where, about his grimy fingernails and dirty clothes; everything vanished behind the silly grin she wore as Lyle teetered across the room.

“Hi there…Hi Lyle.” Renny purred, dropping to her knees and intuitively holding her arms out to him; she felt like crying when he snuggled in next to her, giggling and playfully grabbing at the necklace she wore. Swooping him up in her arms, she began to dance with him, spinning and giggling. “Oh, Jimmy. He’s absolutely beautiful.”

Turning away from her nephew momentarily, it struck Renny that he was the spitting image of his father. They had the same eyes and pudgy cheeks, the same round face and the same wonderful grin. Lyle was definitely his father’s son, and his father was ecstatic at his big sister’s approval. On the rare occurrences when she had ever been near the boy, Barbara would only pat his head and then hand over a check for Christmas or birthdays.

“He’s precious, Jimmy,” Renny said again.

“Yeah.” A voice, ragged from sleep and cigarettes, agreed. “He is.”

Everything stopped, and the room became, if possible, darker and colder. Gazing beyond Jimmy, who instantly tensed at the sound of the voice, Renny stared into the black tunnel of a hallway, at the woman leaning against a door jamb; the dishwater blonde wiping sleep from her eyes so that she might better glare at Renny; Emma. She walked slowly, in bare feet, into the living room, all the while searching the pocket of her crumpled corduroy bathrobe for the pack of Salem’s she kept there.  Shaking her hair from her face, she sucked on a cigarette and lit it with a lighter she scooped off a table. The robe fluttered open and Renny saw that Emma slept in a Pearl Jam T-shirt and a pair of pull-on shorts.

“Uh…this is, uh, Emma,” Jimmy said abruptly. “Em? This is my sister…Renny.”

Renny couldn’t believe the change in her brother once Emma joined them. The life vanished from his eyes, and the smile that had been there only a moment before, the laughs he shared with his sister and his son, quickly faded. He seemed somehow less than he was before, shorter, even, with his shoulders slumped forward and his gut drooping further over his belt. His eyes dropped to the floor.

“Hello,” Emma uttered in a shrill, nasal tone Renny immediately remembered from the phone message. Her arms folded, a cigarette dangling from pursed lips, she inspected her sister-in-law; eyeing Renny’s clothes: the pants, black, a precise crease from waist to ankle. Emma snarled a little; she had seen women like that. Her eyes narrowed at the black leather boots, and the white shirt, a man’s shirt, crisp and spot-free, with the collar upturned and the two top buttons undone to reveal a slender, tanned neck and a sterling silver chain with a black pearl suspended from it. Renny had recently colored her hair—Emma could tell—a honey blond, and cut short so it framed her face. Two silver clips held it back, and a pair of earrings that matched the necklace, studded her earlobes.

“You ever return phone calls?” Emma asked, and when Renny looked confused, she explained. “I called? The day we found the body? You never returned the call.”

“I’m sorry.” Renny toyed with her necklace, as Lyle had done moments earlier. “I didn’t think…. I just got in the car and drove…and came home.”

“Hmmph,” Emma wheezed. She walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of Coke from inside; she popped the lid and drank right from the bottle, tilting her head back, guzzling nearly half the contents, and staring at Renny. She ran a hand through her own recent dye job—Strawberry Blond in a box—and snarled at her husband. “I’m working again tonight, Beam, so you’re staying home with Lyle. I don’t want him going to Bessie’s. She let him play outside all day and he was covered in mud when I got home.”

“Sure, Em.” Jimmy’s eyes waffled from his wife, who stayed in the kitchen and opened another Coke, to his sister who held his son and stared wide-eyed at his wife.

“Beam?” Renny murmured. “Why does she call you Beam?”

The Funny Papers

Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson, Mike Luckovich, Kevin Siers, Dave Whamond, John Cole, Steve Sack, Jack Ohman, Clay Bennett, Steve Benson, David Horsey, Jim Morin