Saturday, May 25, 2019

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Well, Constance Wu seems to be loving her diva attitude … at least until the phone stops ringing and she stops getting hired.

Now the Crazy Rich Asians and Fresh Off the Boat ‘star’ is accused to sh*tting all over a rented penthouse. Well, to be fair, Wu rented the penthouse and then allowed her pet bunny—oh, isn’t she just so twee—roam wild around the space and take dumps wherever it pleased.

Wu rented the $6.5 million Chelsea apartment in NYC while she was filming Hustlers with JLo and, without the owner’s consent, she brought along her pet rabbit, Lida Rose, who proceeded to defecate and pee freely all over the place.

A housekeeper—hired by the owner to clean once a week—noticed the piss-and-shiz show and told the owner, who warned Wu to keep her pet in its cage, but Constance Wu only cares about Constance Wu so she ignored the warnings and the defecation continued until the owner eventually called Wu’s management and threatened to throw her out.

Wu is not talking because she’s an irresponsible egotistical wannabe star who will be a has-been before you know it … with a bunny who poops in a cardboard box under an LA overpass.
If you’d ever thought that the Kardastrophe Koven was just a petri dish of incestuous relationships, you’re right on the mark.

Tyga, who is Kylie Kardastrophe’s—let’s face it, she’d lose the Jenner as fast as she could if given the chance—ex-boyfriend, was once married to Jordan Craig.

Jordan Craig has a child with Tristan Thompson.

Tristan has a child with Khloe Kardastrophe.

Tyga also has a kid with Blac Chyna.

Blac Chyna has a child with Rob Kardastrophe.

Do those people not know anyone else they can date or impregnate or be impregnated by?

That whole Klan needs a Silkwood Scrubdown™.
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When a family has spent decades relying on one person to pay their bills and buy them shiz, what does that family do when the Coin Machine™ is dead? Send them out on the road as a hologram.

Yes, Dead Whitney is going on tour because the Houston family needs the coins. Despite the fact she’s been dead for seven years, Whitney Houston’s estate is planning on releasing a new album and sending Whitney out on tour in the form of a hologram.

Estate executor, and sister-in-law to Dead Whitney, Pat Houston has plans for a Dead Whitney album, a Dead Whitney Tour, and a Dead Whitney Broadway musical because even a Dead Whitney makes more money than Pat Houston, or the family.

Funny thing, though, in 2016 there was supposed to be a duet between Dead Whitney the Hologram and Christina Aguilera, but Pat put the kibosh on that because it was tacky. I think they thought it was tacky because Christina would get some of the coins and the Houston’s want all of them for themselves.

It’s all about the coins that can be made off selling your dead family member,like Whitney Houston: Dead In Concert!
So, to recap … two years ago Real Housewives of New York City‘s very own ex-Countess and wannabe singer Luann De Lesseps was arrested for trying to have sex in an empty hotel room and then attacking the police officers dispatched to haul her drunk ass to jail.

To avoid jail time. Luann agreed to go to rehab, and, to be fair, she did complete that stint, only to be released and start a new life as ex-con, ex-countess, ex-drunk cabaret star Luann De Lesseps.

But then she had a relapse and was sent back to rehab where she stayed for less than three weeks before leaving to take her act—whatever that is—on the road.

And that brings us to her third strike; Luann recently violated her probation by admitting to her parole officer that she’d had some cocktails after one of her recent “shows”. She says she just had mimosas, which aren’t really drinks, unless you’re a three-time arrestee who can’t stay sober for more than a few months at a time.

And the judge who heard her sob story was all, Sorry, bitch, and put her in handcuffs. Luckily, she wasn’t taken to jail, but  she was hit with more conditions added to her probation …

She will have a breathalyzer in her car, making it impossible for her to drive drunk, for which America thanks the judge; she will be getting weekly telephone counseling sessions, for which she cannot use the bartender at the nearest Red Lobster; she will have monthly in-person meetings with a psychiatrist; and she must start taking the prescription drug Antabuse, which treats alcoholism by giving Luann the effects of a very severe hangover should have even one drink … including a mimosa.

Luann’s representative, which may or may not be one of her drinking buddy backup dancers, told the media:
“She looks forward to completing the last couple months of probation and putting this entire situation behind her and moving on with her life.”
Funny, that’s what she said the first time she got arrested, and then when she went to rehab, and then when she fell off the wagon and went to rehab again.

It’s the same old song. Hey, maybe she could find a spot for that in her cabaret act?
Boy George is a bit of a diva, though nowhere near Wu-level diva-ness, but … as a judge on The Voice Australia one contestant got under the Boy’s skin and he was off … literally.

During the blind auditions 20-year-old Daniel Shaw sang Beneath Your Beautiful while playing the piano, and it made all four judges—Kelly Rowland, Guy Sebastian, Delta Goodrem, and Boy George—turn their chairs and hope he’d pick them. Boy George asked if Daniel played guitar, and Daniel replied:
“I can play guitar, but no one really cares if I play guitar.”
Now, there was a touch of rudeness there, and Boy wasn’t having it. He asked:
“No one cares?” 
When Daniel shook his head, Boy George said:
“I do.”
Then he suggested Daniel pick any other judge, grabbed his phone and left the building!

Of course, though, because there's a contract and a check involved, the Boy came back and claimed he’d misheard Daniel.
“I just misheard what was said, and I just went, you know when you go in the moment? I am kind of fine now and I’m a bit embarrassed. I’m cool, I’m not annoyed, I was just annoyed in the moment. I’ve got to go and find somewhere not to be embarrassed. I’ll have to be tied to my seat.”
Now, to be fair, that’s not high gossip, because he came back, but it does give me a moment to share my favorite Boy George story: years ago, during the height of Culture Club realness, Boy was in Japan doing a photo shoot. After they put him in his wardrobe, he announced that he didn’t like the pants because they reminded him of a cheap hotel …
"No ballroom."
Get it?


Sixpence Notthewiser said...

I saw the video of Boy and the snotty boy. The twenty year old was rude..glad Boy George went back, but that little boy had a lesson to learn.
Oh, Constance. Love her but the bunny story is kind of annoying.
I don’t to the Kartrashians or the Housewives. I find them impossibly vacuous.
And how DARE they with Whitney? Ugh.


anne marie in philly said...

egad, what a motley crew this week. dead whitney is just SO WRONG on so many levels. and the kraptrashians must be incestuous...

Blobby said...

Well for Whitney - I think the rest of the family had to wait till the daughter died her inevitable death, as she could have been an impediment to Holgram Whit. As for the Katastrophe' about 12 years, there is gonna be a whole lot (more) of incest going on in L.A.

Helen Lashbrook said...

I hate all these dead person tours - I find them creepy.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Your take on the dead Whitney tour had me laughing out loud because it's bang on, I bet later on she will have a visit on stage from Michael Jackson... now who says 80's music is dead!

As for Boy George, he was helping with a singing competition here in Canada, where young performers are helped by a team of successful singers and producers. Some of the young people were recorded asking each other, "who's that guy, what does he do", I laughed but then felt really old... lol.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Constance Wu needs a reality check. Well, they all do, actually.

Deedles said...

One word for the Kardastrophe Klan and their paramours: STERILIZATION!

the dogs' mother said...

Abby says bunnies are for chasing!

mistress maddie said...

I think my people skills are fine, but when reading this it's my tolerance for idiots that needs help dear.

Constance next film...the follow up to Crazy Rich Asians.. Crazy Trash Asians.

Dave R said...

Boy who????

And I wonder if they're going to pump the stage full of dry ice for Whitney's show... or is she just going to be in a box they shove around?

Sheila Morris said...

Oh Bob, what would we do without your gossip? I, for one, would remain hopelessly in the dark on cultural events, people, and places.
Thank goodness I hope I never have to flail in the morass without your guiding light.
Hugs and love to you and Carlos