Saturday, December 11, 2021

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

There’s nothing like a celebrity barfing up a forty-year-old story to get some fresh publicity. And I’m looking at you Brooke Shields.

We get into the Way Back Machine and head to 1980, when people lost their shiz at 15-year-old Brooke Shields’ Calvin Klein’s ad where she says:

“You want to know the only thing that comes between me and my Calvin’s? Nothing.”

It’s nothing compared to what we see today, but forty-one years ago it was escandalo! And so, to mark that four decades old mess, Brooke appeared on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast and talked about a 1980 interview she did with Barbara Walters that she now calls … wait for it … “practically criminal” because Babs asked what her measurements were and if she was a virgin.

Call CPS! STAT! Except … five years earlier Brooke’s mother, Teri Shields, offered up her 10-year-old daughter, fully nude, dolled up and slathered in grease, as the subject of photos for a Playboy publication called Sugar and Spice so questions of virginity and measurements couldn’t have been that criminal.

Not like a mother having her prepubescent child pose nude. Take it down a notch, Brooke.

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Sarah Ferguson, AKA The Duchess of York, is back once again with another chapter for her ongoing life struggles in which she claims that she is “the most persecuted woman in the Royal Family.”

Oh, it didn’t just happen; The OG Fergie says she has been shunned and persecuted since she and her husband Andrew—with his own set of scandals—split up in 1992 and divorced in 1996. It’s like she’s pulling a Brooke Shields, dredging up decades old stories for some fresh publicity,

Referring to the negative media coverage she received following her separation from Prince Andrew, she says:

“I was maybe the most persecuted woman in the history of the royal family, but I’m still here.”

Now, she may have been the most dragged royal, but persecuted? Walk a minute in Diana’s shoes, hon, who was called insane and crazy by the royal family machine during her separation and divorce and was then hounded literally to death by the press.

Take a seat, Sarah. We’ll call you when wanna suck toes.

Google it.

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Now, onto to George Clooney, trying to prove he’s just like the rest of us.

Clooney did an interview with the Guardian to promote his new movie, The Tender Bar, and discussed fame, raising his twins during the pandemic, politics, his childhood, and the fact that he turned down $35 million for one day’s work in an airline commercial:

“Well, yeah. I was offered $35m for one day’s work for an airline commercial, but I talked to Amal [Clooney, the human rights lawyer he married in 2014] about it and we decided it’s not worth it. It was [associated with] a country that, although it’s an ally, is questionable at times, and so I thought: ‘Well, if it takes a minute’s sleep away from me, it’s not worth it.’”

Get a good night’s sleep, George. We remember the $30 million paycheck you got for those Nespresso commercials.

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Last week we discussed Madonna’s thirsty nipple and ass Instagram photos, and this week we discuss her attack on 50 Cent—whom she accused of “pretending” to be her friend—after he “talked smack” about those photos, posting to his social media:

“yo this is the funniest shit LOL. That’s Madonna under the bed trying to do like a virgin at 63. She shot out, if she don’t get her old ass up.”

And Madonna, never one to revert back to being a teenaged girl, posted a picture of she and Fiddy posing together on the red carpet saying.

“Here is 50 Cent pretending to be my friend. Now you have decided to talk smack about me. I guess your new career is getting attention by trying to humiliate others on social media. The least elevated choice you could make as an artist and an adult.”

And then she proves what a thirsty child she is by adding:

“You’r [sic] just jealous you won’t look as good as me or have as much fun when you are my age.”

I was kinda hoping for:

I’m rubber, you’r [sic] glue, whatever you say bounces on me and sticks to you.

But hers was enough because 50 Cent apologized, and the playground is safe again for the children.

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Y’all remember that Khloé Kardastrophe got together with athlete Tristan Thompson when he dumped his pregnant girlfriend to be with Khloé, only to dump Khloé for a hot minute when she got pregnant, and then they got back together because dumping pregnant Khloé is okay with Khloé? Remember that?

Well, it’s still going on because Thompson has knocked up another girl while he and Khloe were are were together, and Tristan is suggesting the woman is trying to extort money from him.

Um, no, Tristan, it’s called Child Support, and it’s what men have to pay because they can’t keep their dicks in their pants.

PS Tristan ALLEGEDLY tried to give this newest Baby Mama $75,000 if she dropped her paternity suit, which is something all men do when the baby in question isn’t theirs.

Keep.It.In.Your.Pants. If you can’t use a condom, dumbass.

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9 comments:

  1. I laughed at that Brooke bit when I saw it. She was a tall kid and her Mommy had her doing quite a bit of the provocative to get her name in the headlines.

    I'm sure she got a nice settlement with her divorce, so Sarah needs to retire.

    Clooney who?

    Madonna and 50 Cent? two fools in a leaky old boat

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  2. Even back in 1980 I wondered why everyone was so freaked out by that Brooke Shields commercial. I don't remember the Baba Wawa interview, though.

    I think almost any of Henry VIII's wives outrank Sarah Ferguson on the persecution scale!

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  3. Sucking toes is what comes to mind every time Sarah Ferguson is mentioned....sick making. Things can't be that bad because she still lives with Randy Andy. Apparently Phil da Greek wouldn't let them get re-married. Perhaps now he's gone Mummy will let Randy have his way.

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  4. Celebrity fun and games!
    xoxo :-)

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  5. These Men with all the Baby Mamas pretending to be Victimized and not giving Two Shits about the unfortunate Children they Fathered are showing what Low Life POS's they really are. MadDonna and the Half Dollar having a Playground Brawl is hilarious, how Elevated is ANY of that, I mean, REALLY!?! Clooney bragging he can turn down 30+ Mil just because he has such Moral High Ground... gak. And what has Kloe' done to her FACE... those new Commercials are horrifying, surely she had enough Money to choose a competent Plastic Surgeon so why go to a Hack and look like a Monstrosity, I don't understand... looks like she went to Mexico and had a Dentist do the work!!!!

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  6. Oh, and I almost forgot about Teri Shields pimping out her Child so flagrantly. The Barb Wawa Interview was the least of Child Brook's growing up Traumas I think.

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  7. My friend's dad ended up at a dinner attended by Sarah Ferguson - he said she's the most common, foul-mouthed female he had ever met! Sounds about right! Add "parasitic leech" to that description and we're probably cruising!

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  8. I'll be the first to judge someones' life choices BUT I don't understand Tristan-and men like him-could be women too...First, let me say I look at things from a public health background...I also volunteered at Whitman Walker Clinic in DC conducting risk reduction and HIV/AIDS counseling...Now I have no qualms with a little/fun quickie in the sack BUT at least protect yourself...One should be worried about HIV/AIDS, other sexually transmitted diseases, and pregnancy...Why does a man and or women allow their sexual partners have intercourse without a condom with someone they do not have a history with...You don't know where they have been....When counseling folks I gave the advice of at least 6 months of condom wearing and testing before doing without...Having unprotected sex right out of the gate is lunacy...

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  9. Kardashian mess... I can't really get involved. Those people. They're like moths in blanket factory.

    Well, Madge was right, except for that last bit... she's just showing her insecurity there. I think ageism is appalling, especially when men throw shade on a women. F that noise.

    Clooney? Yeah. I don't think I every cared much about him. I know he's this mega star, and he did marry well, I will give him that. But other than that? It's hard to give a F.

    I have always felt bad for Fergie. I know, she's made some bad choices, but I still think she got a raw deal with Randy Andy. I always wish the best for her.

    And Brooke, too. All that '70's stuff? OMGerg. What mother whores her daughter out like that... oh... yeah... so, I guess the Kardashians are nothing new. Still, you can't blame a child for what their mother put them up to.

    Mixed feelings today, Bob. (shrug)

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Say anything, but keep it civil .......