Why Is It ...

… that no one gets my tips on how to handle the South Carolina heat: Number 1] Drink lots of water; and B] Watch how the fuck you talk to me.

… that I cannot decide if people are becoming more annoying or if I’m becoming more angry

… that while I don’t consider myself pessimistic I cannot help but feeling that a stupid civilization using AI can only lead to disaster

… that when I cracked a joke to my therapist and saw her instantly start jotting down something in her notebook my first thought was, “Bitch is trying to steal my joke.”

… that everyone is lucky my bestie and I don’t have a podcast

… that I know it’s not my job to police the internet but when I saw that someone had posted a recipe for cauliflower cookies I reported them for harmful content

… that when I saw a teenager crying on a bench I sat down and assured them that it’s gonna get worse; proof that not all heroes wear capes

… I get branded as odd all the time, yet I’ve never once been called unamusing. Keep that noted.

…  that no one remembers that when you invite me to your house and say, ‘Make yourself at home,’ the first thing I do is kick them out because I don’t like visitors.

… that when people tell me to eat better and drink less because my body is a temple, I remind them that it is actually a bouncy house with a slow leak.