Why Is It ...

… that every time I try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas ... Easter ... Summer ... Friday or Tuesday and ruins it for me.

… that for all of you who got into my business this past year, I will be sending you a W-2.

… that I was arguing with boss one day and just decided to take off my glasses and say, “I don’t don’t wanna see you right now.”

… that no one understands that I always have something smart to say.

… that when someone says to me, “I’ve seen your true colors,” I say, “Good., Use them to paint your bedroom.”

… that I always offer to cook, not because I’m nice, but because I want the food to be good.

… that while I may look normal, deep down, inside I wanna be an octopus so I can slap eight people at once.

… that Facebook keep suggesting people I may know. Well, I do know them and I don’t like them.

… that whenever people tell me I smell good and then ask me what I’m wearing, I say, “I splashed on some Leave Me The Fu-Cologne.”

… that my favorite childhood memory is having energy.