Snarky Thoughts

The smugness and hilarity of Gwyneth Paltrow and Terry Sanderson’s 8-day ski accident trial held many of us in a tight grip a while back. It ended when the jury sided with the Oscar-winning actress … hold for laughter … and awarded her the $1 dollar in damages she’d requested; she was also asking that Sanderson pay her lawyer fees because the crash caused her to miss a half-day of skiing, but we now know that lawyers for both parties have agreed to drop that part of the suit. 

My Thought: Maybe that haughty, I’m-too-good-for-this-nonsense bitch face caused Paltrow’s attorneys to rethink their money beg.

photo

Halle Berry is making Madonna look absolutely parched, she’s so thirsty. Like Madge, Halle has posted a nude photo of herself sipping wine on a balcony to social media, with the caption:

“i do what i wanna do. happy Saturday.”

In the photo, Berry is covering her breasts with her arm and leaning against a railing that covers her nether regions.

My Thought: This is pure thirst because Halle had her boyfriend take the camera downstairs and outside while she perched on the balcony so he could snap the photo. I guess doing what she wants to do for Halle means sending her boyfriend to the yard to take a nudie pic.

photo

Who needs Adele or Elton, or even Paddington Bear when you’ve booked Katy Perry, Lionel Ritchie, Winnie the Pooh and Tom Cruise for your coronation?

My Thought: King Charles and those wacky Windsor’s are scraping the bottom of the celebrity  barrel to make this coronation a thing.

photo

Another Kardastrophe, well, to be fair, a Kardastrophe-adjacent, family member is pitching  a hissy over the idea that people think she's had plastic surgery. Kylie Jenner admits to having lip fillers but wants y’all to know she isn’t all that plastic:

“I think a big misconception about me is that I’ve had so much surgery on my face and that I was some insecure person, and I really wasn’t!”

But she always “wanted full lips” but claims it’s not due to insecurities saying she was “always the most confident person in the room” as a child and “the girl performing for everyone,” but because of her “one lip insecurity thing” she chose to make a change.

My Thought: That little lip thing really made her face and body and breasts totally different, and that makes it one special filler.

photo

Alec Baldwin is back in the news, though not for killing someone … this time. See, after the manslaughter  charges against him were dropped he posted a slideshow of his seven kids calling them “seven reasons to carry on during tough times.” Trouble is, Baldwin has eight children and appears to have forgotten his daughter Ireland, whose mother is Kim Basinger, and whom he famously called a “pig” years back in a telephone rant.

My Thought: Not exactly father of the year material, eh? I mean if you have so many children you forget the first one.

photo