I Ain'tOne To Gossip But ...

Rumor has it that Kim Kardastrophe is a billionaire, but money can’t buy you brains.

Kimmy, who has been studying to be a lawyer for some time now, has failed her baby bar exam in California and now her dreams of being a real-life lawyer might go up in flames … like her marriages.

Kim made it official on a preview of Keeping Up with the Kardastrophes, where she fessed up to flunking, but rumor has it that she failed the test months ago and saved the shame to air it on national TV.

Perhaps a little less time living your life for TV and more time actually studying, and you might pass next time.

Oh, who am I kidding …

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Another demon spawn who lives her life for social media is Kelly Osbourne—before on the left and after on the right—who took to Instagram to clap back at online haters who say she’s had plastic surgery:

“I just want to bring up a topic that you guys are all talking about, because I’m always really honest and really upfront about what I’ve done to my body, and who I am, and I have not had plastic surgery.”

Kelly, who did lose 85-pounds last year, insists  she has “never done anything to [her] face other than a couple of injections in [her] lips, in [her] jaw and in [her] forehead.”

So, every but plastic surgery.

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I guess when you really have nothing to do, you dredge up gossip about dead people? Amirite Quincy Jones?

In the first installment of The Hollywood Reporter’s Icon series of interviews, 88-year-old Jones says he refused to work with Elvis Presley because Elvis was “a racist mother…” and that he wouldn’t work with him:

“ I was writing for [orchestra leader] Tommy Dorsey, oh God, back then in the ’50s. And Elvis came in, and Tommy said, ‘I don’t want to play with him.’ He was a racist mother—I’m going to shut up now. But every time I saw Elvis, he was being coached by [“Don’t Be Cruel” songwriter] Otis Blackwell, telling him how to sing. “

Otis Blackwell told David Letterman in 1987 that he and Presley had never met. But that’s not the issue; Quincy Jones never explains why he thought Elvis was racist, just says it’s so. Now, yes, Elvis has left the building and so he cannot respond, but if you’re gonna call someone a racist you better have the tea to back it up.

Or else just sit there and be quiet.

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Is there anyone, anyone, on the planet thirstier than Jennifer Lopez?

Nope. I mean, we all know she and A-Rod broke up in January, got back together in February, split up in March, and now we find out she was with Ben Affleck in April … on the down low. Oh, not to look like she wasn't man-jumping, but because Bennifer 2.OMFG wanted to announce their reunification on Instagram before anyone knew about it because, you know, publicity.

But that plan fell apart when, just a couple of weeks after JLo called it quits with A-Rod, B-Fleck was spotted arriving at her LA home in her white Escalade where he stayed, behind closed doors, for more than a week because JLo ALLEGEDLY wanted to make the announcement that their once true love was true again on social media. But Ben ruined that by being seen behind the wheel of her car going to her house.

So plans were changed, and Bennifer 2.Oh-no-they-bettah-don’t was seen riding in a car at his place in Montana, then he was spotted on her balcony in Miami, and then, to top all that off, Ben began wearing the watch she gave him back when they were both relevant, and then packed away when they became irrelevant. Clearly, though, we are moments away from Bennifer 2.Oh-what-are-they-thinking PDA, because that’s how JLo rolls, and drags her men along with her.

True facts, though … no one knows how serious JLo and Ben are about each other, due to the fact that, as one source puts it, they’re two people who can’t ever be alone.

Sadly, the thirst is real.

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Miles Teller—whom I loathe even though I cannot think of one thing I’ve seen him and still I find him a smug prick—and his wife Keleigh Sperry went on a couple’s vacation to Hawaii with Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley. And apparently Miles was punched in the face for stiffing a wedding planner of $60,000.

First things first, it wasn’t me …I wasn’t in Hawaii recently. But Miles and Keleigh are now giving their side of the story, and they are saying the attack wasn’t at all about being cheap self-entitled pricks, but that it was just a random beat up the smug prick in the bathroom kinda thing.

You see, Mr. and Mrs. Smug Prick were having dinner at Monkeypod Kitchen in Maui when Miles went to the bathroom and while in there, he was confronted by a dude who was mad at him for skipping out on that huge wedding planner bill and so the guy punched Miles in the face. Police were called and Miles, who wasn’t injured badly, vowed to press charges, but … afterwards, Keleigh told an Instagram Story to set the record straight and to defend herself and Mr. Smug Prick against the accusations that they’re entitled pricks who don’t pay their bills by claiming that Miles was not attacked over money and that two strangers jumped him in the bathroom and it’s happened before:

“The story reported about Miles being punched in the face by @TMZ over ‘MONEY’ is completely false. Miles was jumped by 2 men we have never met after they trapped him in a bathroom. It seems these same men have done this to many people and we appreciate your support Maui.  This is now a criminal investigation.”

But … gosh, this is as many buts as there are in a Keeping Up with the Kardastrophes episode … TMZ has updated their story and according to them, this was not a case of a random punching of a smug prick in a men’s room, because, ALLEGEDLY, one of Miles’ attackers is married to the woman who helped plan Miles and Keleigh’s Maui wedding in 2019 and was stiffed out of $60,000. And Tre Lovell, the lawyer for the wedding planner and her husband, told TMZ that the bathroom fight was over money:

“It is my understanding that the altercation was a dispute over money pertaining to the couple’s wedding. We are currently evaluating my clients’ legal claims that may exist surrounding the incident, statements made about the incident and the parties previous business dealings.”

Hopefully, Miles and the wedding planner’s husband will keep the fighting all the way to Judge Judy because she loves to smack down self-entitled smug pricks who don’t pay their bills; and she does it on TV and not the bathroom.

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