I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Jen Shah, one of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, is apparently a hot mess on and off TV, but it’s her off-screen antics, of the criminal variety ALLEGEDLY, that we’ll talk about here.

Shah was arrested and accused of fraud spanning six states, and faces up to thirty years in prison, but has, of course, denied any wrongdoing and asked that the charges be dropped. A judge said, “No so fast grifter,” and so now Shah has come up with a new theory as to why she is not, well, not that innocent, but not to be tried for the charges: her contacts were dirty,

Shah’s lawyer filed legal papers which said her contacts were very dry and dirty, and her vision so blurry that she had no idea she was signing a document that waved off her Miranda rights and would like her whole case thrown out.

Bitch, please. Did you also have dry contacts in your ears when they read you your rights?

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And now, another tiny diva with a great big ego … Kevin Hart. He loves to say he has zero fucks to give, and even called his latest Netflix special, Zero Fucks Given, but he appears to have many, many fucks to give because he recently went on Twitter and lashed out against people who claimed he was … :::gasp::: … not funny:

“The ‘He’s not funny’ slander is the best….this is for you. I have 3 stand up comedy specials that fall in the top 10 highest grossing comedy specials of all time….2 of my specials are in the top 3 of all time. I have been the highest grossing comedian in entertainment for years now.”

Someone is giving lots of fucks rights now, but, um, Kev, someone saying you’re not funny isn’t slander, it’s opinion, and you thinking it’s slander is semi-funny, but in a sad kind of way.

“I have also been the highest grossing comedian in the box office with over 4 billion in earnings ….I have also turned my comedic talent into a place of business and branding and radio and other revenue streams….The hate/slander fuels me to do more.”

Again, not slander, just a lot of chest thumping and ego puffing from Little Man Hart.

“You guys are what makes this business fun….because it’s not about getting to the top….it’s about doing your best to stay on top after you get there. I rarely talk shit….but I felt the need to today.”

He rarely talks shit and has zero fucks to give, and then talks a lot of shit while giving a huge fuck. Not funny; not funny at all.

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Kim Kardashian wants to make the move from reality TV whore to lawyer, but apparently it’s just too hard. If you remember, last week, on KUWTK, Kimmy revealed that she had taken the First-Year Law Students’ Examination, aka the Baby Bar, and failed. She blamed the test results on being a single multi-millionaire mother, running a business during a pandemic, and getting COVID from a birthday party she threw herself with hundreds of people in attendance.

Kimmy is funnier than Kevin Hart thinking that if you’re a single working mom you automatically fail the exam; or maybe if you’re a single mom with nannies and staff who work for you and run your businesses while you travel around the world unmasked and unvaxxed and get COVID and then don’t pass the Baby Bar.

But, hon, if you have all those excuses for why you failed, why did you take the test a second time, and bomb again? Cuz you’re a reality show whore who doesn’t’ have the good sense god gave a horse.

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When we talk about Tori Spelling it’s usually because a credit card company is coming after her for being a deadbeat who doesn’t pay her bills or she’s thirsty for attention by pretending to be pregnant again. Sure, that’s still happening because what else does Spelling have to do?

Oh, go out in public and be photographed without her wedding ring sparking rumors that her marriage to fellow deadbeat Dean McDermott is over.

Oh, and she dropped another clue on Instagram by changing her bio from “Actress / Wife / Mother / Writer / DIYer” to “Actress / Mother / Writer / DIYer.”

Tori, hon, no one really cares.

PS You forgot "Deadbeat."

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We haven’t heard much from sexual kink master Armie Hammer of late, perhaps because his career took that final spin around the toilet bowl, or maybe it’s something else …

Once all his sexual proclivities became known, and his wife left him, and women came crawling out of the woodwork to discuss his kinks, Armie slithered away to the Cayman Islands where he ALLEGEDLY dated a Canadian dental hygienist. But that was all we knew, until last week when Armie was seen at the Grand Cayman airport with his estranged wife and their two children, who hugged Daddy goodbye before he boarded a plane to Orlando, Florida.

What do you do after your marriage and career implode? He’s going to Disneyworld!

Oops, not so much, Armie has checked himself into rehab to hopefully get help for his drink and drug and sex addictions. And while that’s good, the LAPD continues to investigate the rape allegations made again him online by a woman named Effie.

It’s a mixed bag for the former Husband-In-My-Head.

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Kourtney Kardastrophe likes to paint herself as the eco-warrior of That Family, but her message was clearly lost on one of her sisters, Khloé.

Khloé, clearly not the sharpest tool in That Family’s shed of dim bulbs, decided to do her part to fight pollution by encouraging her 152 million Instagram followers to make the switch from bottled water to a refillable water bottle, in an attempt to reduce single waste plastics.

Nice message, but … if you’re living a massively wasteful Kardastrophe lifestyle, which, in Khloé’s case, is a love for filling her home with thousands and thousands of balloons to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries and the unveiling of her new faces, are you really environmentally conscious? Or are you just another tone-deaf media whore who doesn’t know thing one about saving the environment.

I mean, think about all that plastic in her face; was it recycled from someone else in the family? Uh huh.

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