I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Last week learned—as if we didn’t already know—that all Kim Kardastrophe cares about is her soon-to-be-ending “reality” show. I mean, she was planning on being a lawyer … hold for laughter … but she failed the baby bar months ago but said nothing until she could whine about it in front of cameras. So, is it any surprise that she’s now doing the same thing about another failed marriage?

In one of the latest episodes of Keeping up With The Kardastrophes—and, no, I don’t watch—Kimmy broke down in tears, tears I say, over the end of her marriage to Kanye West. The scene was filmed around Thanksgiving of last year, and Kimmy filed for divorce in February.

In the clip for her show, Kimmy cries about how she can’t deal with Kanye moving “to a different state every year” and says he deserves someone who will live with him on his Wyoming ranch—of note, Kimmy, Wyoming is just one state—and support his every move because she can’t, and it played out like this:

KIM (crying): I just like honestly can’t do this anymore. I can’t! Why am I still in this place where I’m stuck for years? Like he goes and moves to a different state every year. I have to be together so I can raise the kids, you know? He’s an amazing dad, he’s done an amazing job.

ONE OF THE SISTERS (Kuz they are interchangeable): He still will be. He still will be. He’ll be better without you there, like…

KIM: I think he deserves someone who can go support his every move and go follow him all over the place and move to Wyoming. I can’t do that. He should have a wife that supports his every move and travels with him and does everything and I can’t! I feel like a fucking failure that it’s like a third fucking marriage. Yeah, I feel like a fucking loser! But I can’t even think about that, I wanna be happy!

So, there you have it; she doesn’t wanna be a wife who supports her husband—of note, she doesn’t really have a job that doesn’t allow her to travel because she travels all the time, just not with her husband—because she wants to be the one her husband follows around to a “different” state, er, just Wyoming.

Maybe Kimmy should stay off TV and out of marriage, because she’s not very good at either one.

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Cuba Gooding Jr. has been keeping his lawyers very busy over the past few years., what with the dozens and dozens of various misconduct allegations against, but this is about just one of his drunken nightclub groping accusations.

In October 2019, Cuba was accused of getting handsy with Natasha Ashworth, a server at the Tao nightclub in New York and was hit with criminal charges. Despite there being legitimate security camera footage of the incident, Cuba pleaded not guilty to the charges. But Ashworth then filed a civil lawsuit against Cuba, but he lost that case because he ignored it.

Seriously.

The server also hit Cuba with a civil lawsuit, which he just lost, because he ignored it. In fact, even after getting served he didn’t hire a lawyer, so Ashworth went to the judge and requested the case go ahead with or without Cuba.

Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Alexander Tisch approved Ashworth’s default judgment request for her assault and battery claims. But just because Judge Tisch granted a default judgment that doesn’t mean this situation is over. Ashworth’s lawsuit was also seeking damages for emotional distress, and a new trial date will have to be set to determine how much, if any, damages would be awarded.

I bet Cuba shows up for that. I mean, with so many cases against him, he’s gonna have to watch his coins.

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Cue a Little Tommy Cruise hissy fit.

Back in February 2020, production on the seventeenth Mission: Impossible movie was shut down in Venice because of Coronavirus, and Tommy went nuts, shrieking at the film crew, actors and extras that he was not having this!! He had high-tech  Coronavirus-safe bunkers built and was renting cruise ships to keep people isolated. But then he saw a crew member not socially distancing, and that’s when he went off!

Well, Mission Impossible 70: Tommy’ Getting Too Old For This Shiz, has been put on the breaks once more after ten crew members have tested positive for COVID-19 … with more ALLEGEDLY ion the way because the cast and crew just filmed a huge nightclub scene. Now, every member of the cast and crew, including Tommy, has been told to self-isolate for the next fourteen days.

Really? I mean, couldn’t Tommy just summon Xenu to come back to Earth and rid us of this plague? I mean, $cientology firmly believes that their cult can cure the ills of the planet, and this little old virus has Tommy stuck in a hotel room for two weeks.

So sad.

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Erika Jayne of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is currently divorcing her husband, 81-year-old lawyer Tom Girardi, who is in the middle of major legal trouble and has been accused of stealing millions to fund his and Erika’s lavish lifestyle, and her :::coughcough::: music career. Tom is facing several lawsuits and Erika is wrapped up in it too because it’s been alleged that the Girardi divorce is just a front to hide assets and her involvement in Tom’s many schemes.

Erika, on RHOBH, tries to keep her private life private, except for her many, many discussions of her wealth and her private planes and the myriad of people who slap a wig, some makeup and a spandex suit on her before she goes out, but now that’s all about to change.

You see, on June 14, Hulu will release an ABC News Original documentary about the scandal called The Housewife and the Hustler. In a teaser for the special, various legal experts, those accusing Tom of embezzlement and Real Housewives stars speak on the scandals surrounding the former couple, all of which came to light following Erika’s divorce filing last year.

Erika went from Real Housewife with a Private Plane to wannabe pop star whose career is just about over since Daddy ain’t cutting checks to her anymore.

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