Bobservations

Last week I had a nasty head cold. I wanted to simply stay in bed and get it out of me, but on Friday we had several errands and so, being the chauffer, I drove Carlos around Smallville.

I had one caveat: stop at a drug store and have Carlos get me some Cherry-flavored Nyquil. Nyquil knocks me out, let’s me sleep, and without fail, I wake in the morning feeling almost human. Carlos went into Walgreens while I waited in the car, and after a bit he came out with a bag of, what I’d hoped, was Heaven.

We got home and I asked where the Nyquil was, and he said he’d put it in the bathroom. And so, later in the night, as I got ready for bed, I thought of that cherry liquid and feeling better in the morning. I entered the bathroom and found the bag on the counter. Inside was a small jar of Vicks Vap-o-Rub, or, as Carlos calls it, in that accent, Bic Boppa Rue, and alongside that was a bottle of …

Walgreens Generic Brand cold and flu and nasal congestion relief. Not only wasn’t it Nyquil, but it wasn’t even Cherry; it was some neon blue shiz in a bottle marked … and this is where I could kill him … non-drowsy formula for daytime use.

Cherry-flavored Nighttime Nyquil. And he got Walgreens blue shiz Non-Drowsy Daytime. The only plus was that as I lay awake most of the night, struggling to breathe, and rubbing my forehead and trying to erase the headache and stuffiness and congestion, was that I could plot his demise.

He has surgery next week and Nurse Ratched will be home taking care of him.

Karma, like me, is a bitch.

Being completely honest, and why not, I have a huge crush on Stanley Tucci, who epitomizes the Hot Bald Gay Nerd ideal in my head. Oh, I know Tucci is, sadly, heterosexual, but I can dream, eh?

And my dream came true … Stanley Tucci will be playing gay in his latest film, Supernova, alongside Colin Firth as his longtime lover, traveling across England in their old RV visiting friends, family and places from their past. Tucci’s character suffers from early-onset dementia so the trip is the most important thing they have. As the trip progresses, their ideas for the future clash, secrets come out, and their love for each other is tested as never before.

Sounds sad, but also sweet, and it has La Tucci!

Now, a tale of one sane person and two crazy people.

John Kelly, former chief of staff to _____, recently said that he had warned the president before he left the White House not to replace him with a “yes man” because it would lead to _____’s impeachment.

And look what happened, right? But now, _____ is denying that Kelly ever delivered that warning: 

“John Kelly never said that, he never said anything like that. If he would have said that I would have thrown him out of the office.”

But the best comment was from White House Press Liar, Stephanie Grisham said:

“He just wants to come back into the action like everybody else does. I worked with John Kelly, and he was totally unequipped to handle the genius of our great President.”

Clearly, she drinks on the job … still.

More crazy? Okay … In just a few weeks Henderson Kentucky’s Central Park will be the site for a Day of the Dead celebration. Most people think it’s a good opportunity for people to learn about Hispanic culture, but City Commissioner Patti Bugg has a different take:

“I’d say 99 percent of the day of the dead is probably innocent. I think that’s fine. I think if you want to honor your loved ones. I think the only challenge is if they actually try to summons [sic]somebody else, you know, a loved one from the grave, then I think they’re asking for some serious stuff. As a Christian, I don’t think they can do that.”

Seriously. Seriously? Seriously.

Pete Buttigieg was recently in South Carolina and, well, he’s having a bit of trouble connecting with Black voters because, yup, The Gay,

At an event, there were about 24 uncommitted black voters who said they were deeply uncomfortable discussing Buttigieg’s sexual orientation and did not like that he was “flaunting” his sexuality by talking about his husband.

Are straight people flaunting their orientation when they talk about their spouses or are they, and Pete Buttigieg, just talking about their lives.

C’mon, it’s 2019. We’re here; we’re queer; we’re running for president. And some of us have husbands.

Sorry for flaunting that.

Police Sergeant Keith Wildhaber, a St. Louis County police officer, who says the department passed him over for promotions because he is gay was awarded $19 million in a discrimination lawsuit.

Wildhaber filed the lawsuit against the St. Louis County Police Department in 2017 after he was told to “tone down your gayness” if he wanted to be promoted to lieutenant.

Again … here, queer, and some of us are police officers.

In news that makes me squeeeeeee like a little gay boy, there is talk that a growing number of Republicans are privately warning of increasing fears of a total wipeout in 2020: House, Senate, and White House.

From their moths to the voting booth.

Let’s do this!

In last week’s I Ain’t One To Gossip But … I posted that photo up there of septuagenarian Suzanne Somers posing topless in the weeds for her birthday.

Commenter den81164 said:

“first thing i thought of when i saw suzanne's picture was "janice" the girl muppet in the rock and roll band on the muppet show. google it and you'll may see it too.”

Den was so right. High-lariously right!

Over the weekend we watched Mary, Queen of Scots starring the delicious Saoirse Ronan as Mary and Margot Robie as Elizabeth. Good film poor Mary; girl lost her head, um, Spoiler Alert?

Anyway, the film also starred the oh-so-delicious Jack Lowden as Mary’s second husband, Henry Darnley, who ay have been gay, or may have been bisexual or may have been fluid but was hot any which way you tell it.

Dreamy ginger, with an English accent. He could give Hot Prince Ginger a run for his money.