In Indiana, A Woman Is Dying To Have Her Marriage Recognized

Does anyone else see this as completely bassackwards?

In Indiana, The Gays cannot get married, nor can gay folks living in Indiana, but married in a marriage equality state, have their marriage recognized. But, last week a federal judge approved an agreement for Indiana to recognize the marriage of Veronica Romero and Mayra Yvette Rivera while the state appeals a ruling overturning its gay marriage ban.

And they did so because Rivera has advanced ovarian cancer.

The agreement stipulates that Indiana will recognize Romero and Rivera’s marriage and, if Rivera dies, the state will issue a death certificate listing her as married and recording Romero as the surviving spouse. The Indiana State Department of Health has also agreed to assist local health departments, funeral homes, physicians, coroners and others involved in completion of a death certificate to understand their duties in the couple's case.

So, these women will be considered married because one of them is dying. How in the hell is this right, fair, equal, American? It reeks of Well, if one of you is dying then we’ll call you married.

So, let me get this queer: do I have to die to have my marriage recognized? Is that the next step?

Earlier this week, a friend of ours stopped breathing in the middle of the night; his partner tried to resuscitate and paramedics were called. Sadly, he never awoke and passed away en route to the hospital. He and his partner have been together for forty-two years. True, they never legally married, but if they had, would South Carolina then be forced to recognize the marriage after death, while fighting not to recognize their marriage while both spouses are alive and well?

I’m glad Romero and Rivera filed their lawsuit; I’m glad anyone, anywhere, files a lawsuit fighting for marriage equality. But to have a state government basically say that they’ll recognize the marriage, and assist with all the details, if one of the spouses dies is the height of insult.

Recognize marriages now, while we’re living, and don’t wait for some symbolic, and truly meaningless, gesture afterwards. I don’t want to be recognized after I die, I want my recognition now.

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