A Trifecta of GOP Asshats ... And How They Think About Women

Y’all remember Arnold Schwarzenegger, right? From the big budget action films, for one; and from his time in office as Governor of California; and, lastly, as the man who cheated on his wife with the maid and had a baby with her.

Oh yeah, and it goes without saying he’s a Republican. I mean, he’s the stereotypical Republican. And even more so because of something he’s just done.

Back in 2003, Schwarzenegger requested the painter of his official portrait include his wife's, Maria Shriver’s, face in the painting.  And the artist obliged, creating a campaign button of sorts on Schwarzenegger’s lapel with Maria’s face on it.

Lovely, no?

Then, after leaving office the story broke of the maid schtupping and of the child he’d fathered with the help and, well, Maria, kicked Arnie to the curb. Oh, he begged for forgiveness; he publicly whined about wanting his wife back; he released this statement:

“After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago. I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.”

His feelings of sorrow must have abated because Schwarzenegger has decided to re-issue his official portrait to the public, with Shriver’s face erased and replaced by a smudge.

That’s what he thinks of his ex-wife; it’s what the GOP thinks of women.

Okay, Ray Rice. Yeah, he beat his girlfriend in the elevator and lost his job, and the NFL is still trying to spin itself out of this one. But this isn’t about the NFL, but another three letters, GOP, and specifically Todd Kincannon, the chairman of the Simpsonville, South Carolina Election Commission.

Yes. South Carolina.

After the Rice story broke, Kincannon released this Tweet:

Uh huh. But he wasn’t done because, well, he’s a member of the GOP and the GOP thinks very little about women, unless the woman wants to control her own body. See, in Todd Kincannon’s world, Ray Rice is the victim, and ever since the story broke Todd has been on a roll, making light of domestic violence, violence against women, and even his own significant other:

Indeed, while most of us are in shock by what we saw in that video, Todd Kincannon thinks the woman deserved it, and that’s it’s all a big joke. Even his own wife, Ashley, should be grateful that she was thoughtful enough to be thinking of him, lest she get a beat-down, too.

GOP.OMG.

Well, well, well, last week South Carolina’s own Appalachian-Trail-Hiking-Mistress-Schtupping-ex-governor-current-congressman has broken off his engagement to his mistress because … his ex-wife is mean.

Uh huh. Oh, and he announced it on Facebook, changing his status from “Adulterer” to “Single.”

In the long and rambling Facebook post, Sanford complained about his ex-wife making life too hard for him with an acrimonious divorce, and then lists the amounts of money and assets he gave to The Darling Jenny—and, yeah, that’s sarcasm there because she’s no peach—and says she has continually asked for so much more that he had to ditch the mistress that he so loved but had never married:

“Jenny had said at that time was that if she didn’t get those things we would go to court and just have another public spectacle. I found that idea haunting, and so I indeed folded all the cards and that brings us to today. “

And so his five-year-engagement to his thirteen-year-mistress, The Not-So-Darkling Maria Belen Chapur suffered because, well, he cheated on his wife and she was mad:

“No relationship can stand forever this tension of being forced to pick between the one you love and your own son or daughter, and for this reason Belen and I have decided to call off the engagement … Maybe there will be another chapter when waters calm with Jenny, but at this point the environment is not conducive to building anything given no one would want to be caught in the middle of what’s now happening.”

And Marky ends by saying he must rededicate himself to God for answers; yup, a good Christian, and a good Republican, whenever they cheat on their wives and then have to break it off with their mistress, always turns to God because …..

Luckily, most people who are friends with Sanford on Facebook — and that in itself leads to the question WHY??? — aren’t nearly as accepting of his sad, sob story about mean Jenny; here are just two of the best:

It just proves, again, and how many times do the people of South Carolina need to be kicked in the teeth by Mark Sanford, that he cares most about his own personal life and less about the duties of the job to which he was elected.

But hey, South Carolina Republicans, you voted him back into public office. How you feeling about that now?

Schwarzenegger

Kincannon
Sanford