Tuesday, September 02, 2014

An Open Letter To Brad and Angelina

So, you're married now. Congratulations, though I'm sure you know a lot of people aren’t happy with you two, for a lot of reasons. I mean, 'poor Jen Aniston,' right? Minding her own business, and suddenly Angelina stole Brad away from her; though how you can "steal" a person is unclear to me, not to mention how you can "steal" someone who doesn't want to be stolen.

Personally, that's none of my business, because this isn't about how you met, or when you met, or which came first, the separation or the love affair, this is about the outrage of some in the LGBT community because, after six children and nine years together, you went and got married!

See, everyone's talking about that interview Brad gave to Esquire back in 2006, when you said you and Angelina would "consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able.”

That was a lovely thing to say, but now a lot of folks in the LGBT community are angry that you've gotten married when not everyone can get married — at least not in every state in the country. A lot of folks in the LGBT community are ready to march and picket, not for equality, but because you broke your promise.

But they seem to forget how many interviews you both have given where you've said your children want you to get married, and how, if you did it, you'd do it for your family. And that's what you did; you had a wedding with all of your children involved and I imagine it was just beautiful and just what you and the kids wanted it to be.

And, so, for myself, I'll say congratulations again, though others in my community would want to say so much more, and say it more angrily; they are pissed. And I’m pissed, too, at them.

So, let me make this queer for those of you in the LGBT community who are foot-stomping and head-snapping:  these two people have spoken out for marriage equality far more, and far more often, than almost any other straight celebrity in the world; and they’ve put their money — hundreds of thousands of dollars — into campaigns to fight for marriage equality in this country. How many of you, who are pointing fingers have done as much?

And should we, as a community, really think that what we want should come before what Brad and Angelina’s children want? I don’t.

But, if you wanna pay that card, and be angry at the Pitts for saying they’d hold off on getting married until everyone can, save a little room in your Hate Parade for Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell because they said the same thing too. Oh, and they were married in October 2013 and yet not one person has complained about them breaking their ‘promise.” So why the ire now?

And, as long as we're gonna play the They-Got-Married-When-I-Can’t card, why isn't anyone angry at every single gay couple in the United States who has chosen to get married in their states, or wherever it is legal, even though it's not the law of the land everywhere? I mean, these are your people running off to New York, or Iowa or Massachusetts … or Washington state like Carlos and me … to get married even though there are still gay couples who cannot marry in their home states. Why aren’t you angry at them, at us?

Because if you have the right to get married, and you want to get married, after nine years like Brad and Angelina, or fourteen years like Carlos and me, then why not do it? If it’s for children, for commitment, or just because you love the other person and want everyone to know, shouldn’t you be able to do it?

I'm glad they got married; I like them both. They seem to be a happy couple with six happy kids, so who am I, or anyone, for that matter, to be irate because they're married?

Marriage equality will happen, and it looks like it may happen everywhere in this country next year, so, rather than throwing eggs at Brad and Angelina, about throwing a little rice, or a little Congratulations.

A happy couple got married and that should be celebrated, not denigrated.

11 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:33 AM

    I'm confused by your Brangelina support.

    They made a promise, a very *public* promise, unbidden and unprompted by the gay community. Picked up by lots and lots of news organizations.

    And then they broke that promise when it became inconvenient for them.

    How, exactly, does this make them our allies?

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  2. Just take everything celebrities say with a grain of salt and we'll be fine. :-)

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  3. I have always loved both of them. Their public, but not over exposed and keep the right of privacy. I loved that they didn't just run and get married in such a hasten decision, which so many seem to think is what people should do. And if one more time I hear poor Jen, my friends side with her, I'll go nuts. Lets face it, Jen is a wimp. If anyone would be a blame it would be brad. But it wasn't meant to be with them. Angelina scream style and class to me, and kept quite.

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  4. Anonymous11:45 AM

    All I can say is Well Done! You should be very proud of this post.

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  5. @Anon #1
    I support them because, while maybe Brad made a "promise" to not marry until we could all marry, his family comes first; as it should. And when his children want their parents to marry, they should.

    Plus, as I pointed out, other celebrities have made the same promise, only to break it so why should the Pitts be held to a different standard, especially given that they put their money and support behind the cause.

    PLUS, why aren't we mad at the the gay couples who arced to get married because they could rather than wait for it to be legal for all of us?

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  6. I don't think it's a big deal; I appreciate both their support of the LGBT community and their desire to finally marry...like so many same gender couples, it is about "family" - whether a family with kids or a family of two adults. We want to marry because we are a family: I think that is the more important message.

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  7. @Frank
    Exactly!

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  8. Anonymous5:29 PM

    Bob - you got it right and then some.

    9 years for a Hollywood couple of their fame and standing is amazing and they did is simply and not like the messes of the KashCows or Beyonce. How in 2006 could they know what pressures their kids would bring?

    And technically, if they are willing to move, then everyone can be married and have their marriage recognized by the federal government.

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  9. (stands and applauds this post)

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  10. I'm ok w them getting married when others cannot. I'm ok w them breaking their 'promise'. On a scale of things that are truly wrong in this world, this isn't one of them.

    Kristen Bell said the same thing, and got married I think before even Prop 8 was overturned. And yet, people love that shitty 'Frozen' movie. And isn't that song "Let it Go" the REAL crime???

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