Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Big Earl’s Bait Shop and Country Store Doesn't Serve Fags

There’s a restaurant in Pittsburgh, Texas, called Big Earl’s Bait Shop and Country Store. 

Now, you’d never catch me eating there because, well, I don’t eat bait, but Collin Dewberry and his partner, Kelley Williams, who live in Pittsburgh, did decide to dine there one morning and it was less than pleasant; at least at the end.

The two men had come in, sat down, and ordered breakfast; they ate it, and they paid for. But on their way out the door a waitress said to them:
"We don't serve fags here."
First off, honey, you just did. Second off, had it been me that you’d uttered that line to, I would have responded that I didn’t order fags, I ordered a Denver Omelet. Then I would have watched your eyes spin back in your head as you tried to figure out what I meant by that.

I meant that you are a twat, dear.

Collin and Kelly have lived in East Texas their whole lives and have never been called that word before, and were stunned when the waitress said it, then began reciting the following phrase from a sign posted on the door:
“Here at Big Earl’s we like for men to act like men and for ladies to act like ladies, so we want you to never return.”
Well, lady, you aren’t living up to your own sign, because you are certainly not acting like a lady, and I bet if you weren’t banging Big Earl you’d be back on a street corner somewhere selling an entirely different menu. Oh wait, the waitress is Big Earl’s daughter, Christina, so maybe, maybe, she doesn’t bang Big Earl … maybe.

Big Earl, though, says the sign on the door — which also forbids saggy pants because, I’m guessing now, Big Earl is heavily into fashion — had been here since the restaurant opened three years ago, and said he has the right to refuse service to Dewberry and Williams in the future because they didn’t follow that policy.

Did they not act like men? And if they didn’t, then why serve them? Why take their money and then act like homophobes as they were leaving? I guess times are hard at Biog Earl’s these days and they’ll serve the fags and take the fag’s money, but they will also tell you that they have the right not to serve fags because fags act inappropriately.

See, it kinda started when Big Earl saw the two men touching, or rubbing, or, perhaps, simply being a couple, and he got all jealous and stuff because he hasn’t been touched like that since Woodrow Wilson was in the White House, so that’s when he decided he didn’t like them in his place of business. He says his daughter, the delightful Christina, did tell Collin and Kelley that their behavior was unacceptable, but they just kept on doing it and so she had no choice but to call them fags. That’s when Big Earl says the couple began badgering his daughter and he’s got the whole thing on surveillance video, though he doesn’t want to … can’t be bothered … won’t do it … show it to anyone.

Now, to his credit, Big Earl does say that he serves many of The Gays at his place, but they know how to act and to follow his policy of “men being men” and so they are more than welcome to come back. And some who’ve never dined at his establishment are also welcome, as long as they act like men … for men.

Men for Men.

Yeah, maybe that’s more like it because, ever since this story broke, reviews for Big Earl’s on social media sites like Yelp and Google reviews are painting the eatery in a decidedly gay light. In fact, the reviews are helping make Big Earl’s Bait House and Country Store appear to be one of the highest rated and most recommended gay bars in all of Texas:
“This place is great… you can really let your freak flag fly here.”
“I’m a dude. I like dudes. And I appreciate a place where dudes can hang out together in dude-company.”
Others? Okay …
“Well, the food isn’t all that good, but this is still the best gay cruiser joint in Texas! I’ve picked up several dates there. All are very handsome, very gay men. I hear the owner offers discounts to men in chaps.”
“Food comes with a free side of bigotry that we did NOT order. Worst service. Lots of hot gay couples kissing was the only good part.”
“The sign said BIG Earl's so when Earl stopped by my table and invited me into the kitchen to sample his Rainbow Trout, I had high hopes. But when he showed me his teensy-weensy little trout . . . well, I guess it's like when they call a fat guy "Slim"? Maybe that's a Texas thing."
And here’s my favorite, for the Bible Thumping crowd:
“Interestingly enough, they serve shrimp. Delicious, sinful shrimp. Which is prohibited in the bible in the same fashion as homosexuality. So if you want a big plate of bigotry with a side of hypocrisy, and unlimited refills of ignorance, this is the place for you!”
Another gay man, who identified himself only as Kyle, says, “I think the restaurant better learn to adapt or they will probably have to close their doors soon.” Kyle says he and others in the Dallas LGBT community will be making a road trip to Big Earl’s in the hopes of having a gay old time and Christina Cheney, Big Earl’s homophobic, foul-mouthed daughter, says they’re ready for them.
“If there’s any problems, they will be taken care of appropriately. We are aware that they are attempting to come out here. We’re ready for them; we have informed the Sheriff’s department and the state.”
Call the Sheriff, the Fags are eating at Earl’s!

Now, on Team Earl, we also have Cathie Adams,  President of the Texas Eagle Forum — probably some right-wing Christian gun nut holy roller group — who is just sick about The Gays coming to Big Earl’s because, well, let’s give Cathie the floor:
“I think that for the homosexual community to be targeting a restaurant and good people is ugly, it is uncalled for. They’re pushing an envelope and they want to not only have tolerance – they want to shove things down our collective throats.”
No, Cathie, you dim bulb, they just wanna have lunch and not be called names. But, I’m guessing there are some folks at Earl’s who might want The Gays to shove something down their throats, if you get my meaning. Cathie? Cathie?

Cathie also says she would never broadcast her personal life in public, though in her very next breath she says she “has been married for 45 years to my husband, I don’t think that it’s my role to stand in the street corner and start talking about the style of private life my husband and I have.”

Collin and Kelley weren’t talking about their private life, they were having breakfast and, yeah, maybe there was hand that touched another hand or even a leg, but that does not mean they should be called names and told they aren’t welcome to come back, Cathie.

You need to take a seat, alongside Earl and Christina and really take a good long look at yourselves. Was Collin and Kelley touching one another on the hand, or even the leg, for that matter, reasons enough to call them ‘fags’ and tell them they aren’t welcome?

Don’t bother, I’ll answer: No.

They were two men having breakfast; two men who will no longer come to Earl’s; two men who shared their story so maybe more and more people will stop coming to Earl’s. That way there will always be room for the bigots and the homophobes.

As they like it.
Couple Asked To Leave Restaurant For Being Gay
Big Earl's Becoming A ‘Highly Rated’ Gay Bar


mistress maddie said...

Soooooo I guess the idea of me going in there in drag is out of the question? A bait shop that doesn't serve FA......oh wrong bait shop. Well......it is in Texas. Had the twatwaffle said that to me it would have been real entertain up in there.

the dogs' mother said...

Who knew having breakfast could be provocative!!

anne marie in philly said...

what if they were two BROTHERS having breakfast? would they be called the F word?

the eagle forum is phyllis schafly's hate group.

sounds like some rednecks got their ass handed to them!

Mitchell is Moving said...


Professor Chaos said...

Wait. . . Christina Cheney? Any chance she's not related?

Bob Slatten said...

Professor: I think they may share a brain ......