Thursday, July 18, 2013

Random Musings

I love tattoos; I have six, and they all mean something personal to me. They aren’t cartoons or names of old boyfriends— the things that you might one day look at and regret.
Like Eric Hartsburg, the guy from Indiana who tattooed the logo of Mitt Romney's presidential campaign on his face … onto his face … and now, big surprise, says he is removing it.
Hartsburg says he initially planned to keep the tattoos … cough bull sh*t cough … it, but cites post-election comments by Romney for his change of heart.
Either that or wearing the tattoo logo of a loser was just too embarrassing.
And, yes, stupid.

This just in from the Vatican….
Pope Francis has "overhauled" the criminal code at Vatican City and now, finally, for the first time in history, the possession of child pornography will send you to Vatican prison; which, I’m guessing, since the Vatican isn’t big on punishment, is an island in the Caribbean filled with nubile young houseboys in see-through sarongs.
Or something.
This new, um, legislation covers clergy and lay people who live and work in Vatican City and is different from the canon law, which covers the universal Catholic Church.
In addition, it is also now illegal to leak Vatican secrets, and the penalties for violations of the new law are stiff … hee hee … stiff: Anyone who reveals or receives confidential information or documentation risks six months to two years in prison and a $2,500 fine; the penalty goes up to eight years in prison if the material concerns the “fundamental interests” of the Holy See or its diplomatic relations with other countries.
In other words, stop looking at child porn and stop talking.
If only …….

So, I like me some Bravo. I really like Million Dollar Decorators because, well, I’m a big old queen, and because it features one Mary McDonald, my BFH—Best Fag Hag.
Mary is rumored to have been the inspiration for the Karen Walker character on Will & Grace and I can see why.
She’s bawdy, bold, funny, and has a gay BFF—sadly, not me.
Plus, you can also see her on Bravo’s Property Envy.
She’s, as the old folks say, a hoot.

It’s official, Texas has officially gone Cher on our collective asses and turned back time.
Last Friday the Texas Senate, by a vote of 19 to 11, passed HB 2, that controversial abortion bill that has garnered the nation's attention over the past month. It was instantly sent via horseback to Governor Perry’s desk where, of course, he’ll sign it.
Odd that Governor, and Not Gay, Rick Perry is so interested in women’s vaginas, eh?
That’s the bad news; the good news is that State Senator Wendy Davis, who filibustered long and hard against the bassackwards bill, is being courted to run for governor in 2014.
The more bad news, this is still Texas, and most of the state doesn’t have the collective gray matter to elect any forward thinking governor.
Bush. Perry. ‘Nuff said.

I was angry at the Zimmerman verdict; I understood the verdict and I realized that, the way our justice system works, justice was served. But I didn’t, and don’t agree with the verdict.
But what pisses me off are the protestors who are destroying their cities, breaking windows and setting fires. That serves no purpose; channel the anger into solving the problem. Punching out a window, or another person, doesn’t help.
And Los Angeles? Neither does shutting down the 10 freeway. All that did was piss off a bunch of commuters trying to get somewhere.
That’s not a protest; that’s just dumb.
That said….

My thoughts on, ahem, Juror B37. And lemme start off by saying this is all hypothetical.
Say B37 was called for jury duty, and after arriving at the courthouse realized it was for the Zimmerman case. And then say she saw dollar signs, and a way to capture her fifteen minutes of fame.
But first, she’d have to make sure Zimmerman was found not guilty, because had he been found guilty the story would have ended. Most people would have been celebrating the verdict and the justice for Trayvon, but her time in the spotlight and her chance to cash in on the verdict would be over.
So, she decides Zimmerman is innocent, and maybe she works hard to persuade those other jurors—and she says they were split three-three on the verdict.
But say she persuades those other three to come to her side.
Zimmerman gets off.
She gets a moment in the spotlight.
She writes a book.
She makes money.
I for one, don’t trust the woman, not one iota. I think she had an agenda and she worked it.
The good news, however, is that the country is so enraged by the verdict t that B37’s publisher has cancelled her book deal, and B37 has slunk back into the ooze and mire from whence she came.
Good riddance.

Meanwhile back at the Vatican ….
Those Catholics who sin—and I don’t mean just the child raping priests—can now earn indulgences, reducing the time they'll have to spend in purgatory for their sins if …..
They follow Pope Francis on Twitter.
Yes, folks, you heard it right.
But previously, these ‘indulgences’ were granted to those who carry out certain tasks—like climbing the Sacred Steps, in Rome, which earns believers seven years off purgatory. And recently, Catholics learned that attendance at events such as the Catholic World Youth Day, in Rio de Janeiro, also win an indulgence.
But the Church, knowing that not everyone can attend a weeklong festival to pedophiles and thieves have also extended the privilege to those following the "rites and pious exercises" of the event on television, radio and through social media … like Twitter.
But, according to a source at the penitentiary Vatican: “You must be following the events live. It is not as if you can get an indulgence by chatting on the internet."
Seriously. Follow the Pope on Twitter and you get to shave off some time in purgatory. Now, if they only added SkyMiles …..

I have become hooked on MTV’s Teen Wolf, which is not the Michael J Fox comedy from the 80s, or even the Jason Bateman reboot, also from the 80s. This is darker, and more grisly, and, well, kinda gay.

I mean look at just some of the cast up there: Keahu Kahuani, Tyler Hoechlin, Sinqua Walls—who was killed off this week … or was he?—and Charlie and Max Carver.

It’s like Man Candy Central. And, like I said, kinda gay …..

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Jim said...

The last one with the twitter tweet of the week is classic. Unfortunately, that's not the kind of world we live in.

designing wally said...

Tattoo boy should just have had the word idiot inked there, that way he wouldn't have to go through the pain of having it removed & proving this statement correct!

B37 says to herself "let me make some cash off of this tragedy". WTF is wrong with these people?

I love the tweet!

the dogs' mother said...

Our guilty pleasure.... watching Ink Master and Tattoo Nightmares. Am amazed at how talented the folks are.

Ron said...

Bob, yet another great post. A couple things (not that you asked of course). Tatooes? I never "got" tatoos but then that's just me. To each his own. If that's what you like, fine. This is one affectation I never got even though my dad had one. That's it, maybe I didn't get one because he had one and only one.

The Tweet of the Week: pefect! Yes, wouldn't it have been a perfect world if Zimmerman offered Trayvon Martin a ride home that night. However, that was not to be because too many of our countrymen have hate in their heart.

Pop Francis and the Catholic Church. Again, I apply my "Tatoo" rule: I never "got" the whole Catholic church thing with the men in dresses swinging pots of smoke and asking for forgiveness for just living. But if that's your thing and gives you comfort, fine, go for it.

This Juror B37: when I heard she had a book deal I actually got nauseous. Thank God someone (I hope the book publisher because you know it wasn't her or her LAWER husband) decided to kill the deal. You are right about this scumbag, she had an agenda and she worked on it. Yes, she slink her immoral ass "back into the ooze and mire from whence she came." You do have a way with words Bob that I admire.

Texas, what can I say? Did you see Louis Black's ad for New York telling Texas and Governor Not Gay Perry to F_CK themselves? Louis got it just right.

Can't comment on the teen werewolves. I used to like werewolves but Taylor Lautner ruined me forever on actors portraying werewolves. I still say Jack Nicholson was the best werewolf ever.

Mitchell is Moving said...

I love tattoos, but have none. I've never been able to decide what I would like, but I know for certain where I would NOT have it done. I knew a guy 25 years ago who had orange and green plaid sideburns tattooed on his face. I wonder how those have worked out!