Chris Sevier Sues Apple Because Internet Porn Ruined His Marriage

The internet is fun, and useful and stupid, and filled with all kinds of things I don’t wish to see, read or hear. And sometimes just missing a single keystroke can take you somewhere on the web that you don’t wish to go. Like the time I clicked a link and it lead me to the story of one Chris Sevier. I read his story and giggled, and was sure I had stopped in at The Onion and stumbled across one of its parody news stories.

Not so much. This story is true, and truly stupid; and, ultimately, truly sad.

Chris Sevier, former soldier, part-time model, and lawyer, is suing Apple because he says the computer giant did not protect him from internet porn, and that internet porn killed his marriage.

In his 50-page complaint, Sevier is asking that Apple sell all of its products with installed porn blocking filters, and if buyers over the age of 18 wish to remove the filters, Apple must provide them with an app for that. Sevier’s complaint also points out the harmful effects of porn on society including American girls being abducted and cast into sex trafficking after travelling abroad.

How did we get here? Well, Chris Sevier claims that while he was using Apple's Safari search engine to find Facebook, an accidental, accidental, spelling error took him to a site called ‘Fuckbook’. And, rather than saying, ‘Hey! Where are all my friends? Where are all my pictures of kittens?’ Sevier stayed on Fuckbook, and the other linked porn sites, you know, just because.

He says this, um, error, "caused him to see pornographic images that appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male and lead to an unwanted addiction with adverse consequences." And Sevier says his accidental internet porn ruined his marriage because he found it by accident and couldn’t look away, or find another page to look at because he had one hand on his device and the other hand on his device.

Sevier’s complaint also alleges that "Apple is hijacking great sex" by allowing customers to view pornography online, as well as being complicit in "the development of sex trafficking ... child prostitution," and many other societal ills. He also accuses Apple of enabling "unfair competition" between porn actresses and his wife.

See, he was getting so hot and bothered by continually finding himself on Fuckbook that he became more attracted to porn actresses than his own wife:

“UNFAIR COMPETITION AND INTERFERENCE OF THE MARITAL CONTRACT: The Plaintiff became totally out of synch in his romantic relationship with his wife, which was a consequence of his use of his Apple product. The Plaintiff began desiring, younger more beautiful girls featured in porn videos than his wife, who was no longer 21 ... The Plaintiff could no longer tell the difference between internet pornography and tangible intercourse due to the content he accessed through the Apple products.”

Sevier is also angry, and suing, because he says Apple has hurt "brick and mortar or 'mom and pop' porn shops" that have suffered as a result of free online porn.

Apple, wisely enough, possibly because the legal team cannot stop laughing, has yet to respond to Sevier’s suit.

Sevier, an army veteran who apparently suffers from PTSD—which has caused the Tennessee Supreme Court  to place him on disability inactive status—is also, according to his own Model Mayhem profile, an amateur model whose age is said to be 26; Sevier is actually 36.

He is also a stalker. The complaint against Apple complaint was filed the same month Sevier himself was charged with aggravated stalking for incessantly emailing country music star John Rich. One of the emails included a picture of a scantily clad Sevier draped in an American flag and covered in a substance 'believed to be representing blood.' Sevier’s warrant said he had stalked Rich for years; John Rich had filed two previous restraining orders against Chris Sevier.

Chris Sevier obviously has some mental health issues that could be related to his time spent in Iraq; or, maybe Chris Sevier is just looking to make a name for himself as a model, a bad speller, and, yeah, a stalker.

Like I said, true, truly stupid, and, ultimately, truly sad.

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