If You've Ever Gone Down There Ken Cuccinelli Wants To Prosecute You

Ken Cuccinelli, the Republican running for Virginia governor, says that in order to protect the children of his state from sexual predators he must make all oral and anal sex—between everyone, even married couples—a felony that carries a sentence of a year in prison.

He announced his plan in his new campaign pledge to reinstate a Crimes Against Nature law, which has already been deemed unconstitutional by federal courts. But this week, Cuccinelli’s campaign launched a website, vachildpredators.com, that presents the law banning sodomy as the only “anti-child-predators law” and says that it “is only applied to sodomy committed against minors, against non-consenting adults, or in public.”

Both those statements are lies.

Cuccinelli’s ‘law’ would criminalize the sexual behavior of consenting adults—all consenting adults—as well as those of sexual predators. He is basically saying that if you, ahem, go down on your sexual partner, no matter the gender of either participant, you are a sexual predator.

Cuccinelli, who is the reason the provision including consensual oral and anal sex between grown people wasn’t removed to make the law constitutional in the first place, says, of The Gays:  “My view is that homosexual acts, not homosexuality, but homosexual acts are wrong. They’re intrinsically wrong.  And I think in a natural-law-based country, it’s appropriate to have policies that reflect that … They don’t comport with natural law.”

Gays are good, says Ken; gays having sex are bad.

I think Cuccinelli is a little too obsessed with what The Gays do sexually; and he’s a little too obsessed with what anyone does sexually. I think someone should ask Cuccinelli, in all serious, and in all efforts to be completely transparent as a candidate, if he has ever gone down there and if any one, male or female, to be fair, has ever gone down on him.

Explain please Ken. I mean, if you’re so keen on knowing what I do in my bedroom, then I ask to know what goes on in yours.

The GOP. They have stuck their heads into women’s vaginas and now they’re Peeping Toms into the bedrooms of all Virginians. I mean, if Ken Cuccinelli, the Anti-Cunnilingus, Anti-Fellatio candidate, wins the office of governor.

Sidenote: Does anyone else think Kenny looks a little Light in the loafers? Anyone else think he's a Friend of Dorothy's? Anyone else wonder if he could Have his own show on Bravo? Anyone think he's queer?

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