PR All-St★rs 6 Ep 3: Pairs Well With Drama

So, the designers get a night off … right … and they expect it to be no big deal … right … and then they arrive at New York City’s Daniel for a night of fine dining … right … where they pair off at random … right … and then are stunned when Alyssa Milano shows up to challenge them.

Right. At any rate, Alyssa has two bodyguards with her, Daniel’s executive chef Jean François Bruel and head sommelier Raj Vaidya, and she tells the designtestants they are going to enjoy dishes expertly paired with a wine complement.

Oh, Perfect Pairings … uh huh.  Alyssa then reveals that whoever the designtestants chose as their dining companion will also be they’re partner in this week’s challenge: to create elegant looks inspired by their dish and the wine pairing … in one day … and for $400 per team.

It broke down like this:

Marline and Candice: White Asparagus and 2011 Gruner Veltliner

Anthony and Kimberly: Lamb Chop and Syrah

Melissa and Ari: Citrus Cured Hamachi and Chablis

Ken and Fabio: Guinea Hen and Pinot Noir

Char and Stanley: Lobster and Rosé of Pinot Noir

Joshua and Amanda: Black Sea Bass and 2013 Chardonnay

Helen and Edmond: Minted Pea Soup and Chenin Blanc

And then came the bomb that ruined everyone’s appetite: while the winning pair will return to Daniel for a full Five Course meal, both members of the losing team will be eliminated.

Alyssa then tosses a little shade as she exits:

“Good luck you guys, and bon appetite.” 

Who can eat? So, let’s rip …

THE SAFES

Char and Stanley: I get Lobster and I get Rosé of Pinot Noir, and the dresses pair well together, but they’re really nothing special; just pretty dresses.

Edmond and Helen: I see Chenin Blanc in Helen’s look, but I don’t get how Edmond interpreted Minted Pea Soup into a scarlet crinkle gown.

Josh and Amanda: Black Sea Bass—though Josh told Anne it was Long Island Sea Bass—becomes two black looks, one slutty—really Josh?—and one very severe.

THE BOTTOMS

MELISSA and ARI

Melissa was inspired by “bright and colorful” Hamachi and the texture of the dish, so she wants to create a pink dress over pink pants. Bright? Colorful?

Ari opts for a cocktail, that became a gown at some point, based on the Chablis which made her feel happy and in the mood the bead a vagina … I guess.

Anne Fulenwider wonders how Ari will use the pearl beads to cover the crotch of her gown, the breasts of her gown and the exposed butt of her gown. She also tells Melissa that while she loves the fabric of her pants, they could go “Florida pant suit,” whatever that means and it’s clearly not good.

And so, when we return to Melissa, whose pants don’t fit her model, she decides to scrap the whole look and make a new dress.

WHAT MELISSA SAID

To me, it’s obvious they’re paired.

WHAT ARI SAID

I think the judges will love my look, it’s very elegant.

WHAT I SAID

Obvious they’re paired? Melissa’s looks like a dress Adele might wear and Ari’s looks like a Cher throwaway. That is not a pairing.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ agrees with me, that the dresses are for two different girls; she tells Melissa her dress “felt like nothing” and says that Ari’s bare belly-button missed Sensual-ville and drove straight into Slut-town. Guess Judge Whoopi Goldberg says Melissa’s looks like a dress she could have made, a boxy dress tied with a belt, but says she loves Ari’s from the back because it says, “I was here.” I thought it said, “Look at my ass.” Alyssa pointed out the odd pleating in Melissa’s dress, and Melissa points out how she wanted to pleat it, and it looks much better. Isaac wished Ari’s dress had no see-thorough bits and vagina beads in the front, saying a plain white dress with that exposed back panel would have been better.

MERLINE and CANDICE

I think this is a bad pairing, if only because Candice has such a strong POV and Merline has a strong POV she cannot seem to rein in. Her choice of the asparagus could have been good, but, as Stanley points out, she doesn’t sew so much as she places fabrics over one another.

In addition, Merline and Candice don’t seem to talk to one another, and are content to work separately; well, Candice works, while Merline frets and has nothing for the model to try on.

Anne points out that simply having the same color scheme doesn’t necessarily translate to a “good pairing” and neither designer seems to know what to do with that.

WHAT MERLINE SAID

I love the way I think. I’m just not really confident about this look.

WHAT CANDICE SAID

I just know we’re gonna be in the bottom. It’s not because mine is bad, or hers is bad, they just don’t pair.

WHAT I SAID

Merline’s is a hot mess of splotches and sheer, with the sheer bits being in places you don’t want sheer. Candice’s top is nice, but the pants are a little to Vegas.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Isaac says their designs remind him of mushrooms while The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ likes their pairing but is furious with Merline; she says her dress is “bothersome to look at” even though she loves the idea of crinoline and the geometric shapes. That emphasis on the crotch has her spitting mad and she vows to go off on Merline if this happens again. She does, however, think Candice’s top is lovely. Whoopi calls both designs theatrical, saying Merline’s looks like one of her old Star Trek looks. Alyssa tells Candice that sending pants down the runway with those hems is unacceptable.

THE TOPS

KEN and FABIO

Ken is a diva, and kinda mean, and even Fabio was worried, at first, about their pairing since he’s so mellow. But they show what two designers can do when they play well, er pair well, with each other.

Ken was inspired by the clean lines of the Guinea Hen Duo and creates a floor-length with over-exaggerated hips. On the other hand, Fabio was inspired by the description of his wine as having “restrained elegance” so he creates a black jump suit with a lace skirt overlay.

Still, even though they are working well, Anne tells them they need to amp it up; clearly, they don’t know what that meant so they kept moving in their same direction.

WHAT KEN SAID

I think the judges are gonna react very well to the pairing, but I don’t know what they’re gonna think about my hip moment.

WHAT FABIO SAID

They’re strong individually, but stronger together.

WHAT I SAID

At first, I didn’t think a white gown and a black cocktail dress would pair, but they do work well together; just as much as Fabio and Ken did.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Isaac says their designs “actually felt like a pairing,” unlike the other groups. He loved the fit of Fabio’s and the movement of the lace, and called Kens architectural and with a sense of grandeur, and loved the, ahem, hip moment. Whoopi loved both designs saying women of all sizes can wear them—Ken’s? I dunno about that. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the lace over the pants in Fabio’s look and called Ken’s draping “exquisite;” she was, however, a little put off by the slit in the back of Ken’s gown. Alyssa simply called their pairing unbelievable, and a good pairing because it wasn’t “too on the nose.”.

ANTHONY and KIMBERLY

Anthony and Kimberly decide to create complementary looks out of Char’s “stunning” blue fabric and Ken’s plain white gown with paint splattered across it, reminiscent of the way his plate was decorated.

I’m not seeing Lamb Chop and Syrah and blue and white, but maybe I’m too literal?

Anyway, Anne seems to like what they’re doing, but says that since their colors are so disparate, they need to bring cohesion through form and shape.

Char scraps part of her look, and simple goes with a boxy coat over pains, while Anthony shrieks as he splatters paint on his gown and then whimpers when he realizes he needs to sew the model into the look.

WHAT ANTHONY SAID

It looks stunning. I am so proud of my dress.

WHAT KIMBERLY SAID

I don’t know what the others are thinking about our looks, but they should be worried.

WHAT I SAID

Again, I don’t get a pairing so much, from Kimberly’s boxy bold blue and Anthony’s elegant white sleek gown.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Isaac thinks Kimberly’s look is one size too big for the model, though he says it might fit him, but Whoopi says the look is good at any size. For some reason Alyssa brings up the African wine Kimberly has and then says her look appears almost tribal and I thought, Wow, that’s a reach. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ likes Kimberly’s bold blue, but says it does border on frumpy; she is thrilled with Anthony, and loves his use of colors, and Whoopi tells him that his dress is one of those pieces “you wish you could wear” on the red carpet. Isaac tells Anthony he’s onto something and hopes he gets it this week.

While Anthony and Kimberly were good, it was clearly Ken and Fabio who take the top spot.

As for the bottoms, I kinda wish Merline would go because I hate that she has time issues and confidence issues and seaming issues and issues; but then that means Candice would go and I like her style.

Luckily, or not, Ari and Melissa get the boot for being boring and tacky.

I loved Anne Fulenwider’s fashion history lesson about great pairings in fashion like Dolce & Gabbana, and Valentino’s creative directors, Maria Grazia Chiuri and Pierpaolo Piccioli, but then she slaps into the mix Mary-Kate and Ashley of The Row. Do they actually design, or do they have people design for them?

Lines of the Night:

Anthony and Kimberly share a table at Daniel and he says:

“Yes, we on a date. The new lesbian couple.”

But then he says, of Edmond and Helen’s pairing:

“It look like a tampon and blood, like right before they come together.”

I could have done without that.

Candice, on her pairing with Merline:

“I can pick up the direction that I know Merline’s going to go in … Actually, you know what? That’s bulls—. I’m not quite sure where this is going.”

Merline didn’t even know where it was going.

Anyone who thinks the pairings were random doesn’t know the PR: Diva ken and Mellow Fabio? Brash Josh and Hippie Amanda? Strong Candice and Scattered Merline? It was planned that way from the beginning. Next time, spare us the drama and Button Bag this mess.

Please, Gay Men, stop using the word ‘moment’ as in Ken’s “hip moment.” It’s giving me a Throw My Shoe At The TV Moment. See how bad that is?

Now, about The Tents: Fabio and Ken, maybe? Anthony, if he keeps getting better. Candice? I can’t really see Helen or Char or Kimberly; Stanley? I don’t think so. Edmond? Sadly, no. Josh? Please no; Amanda? Bored.

Next week it’s all about balls, who has them and who can design with them.

What did YOU think?