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BEST
Viola Davis, giving me Miss Ross in the 80s glam, and looking every inch the movie star. For someone who wasn’t nominated and was just there to party, she brought it.
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BETTER
clockwise
Allison Williams, in black, shimmering black, with a pop of color. My one quibble? It looks a little like the Today Show logo ….and her Dad is Brian Williams who once worked there … just sayin’.
Claire Foy rocking a masculine look, an odd choice for a night when women ruled, but still she worked it.
Jessica Chastain in black with slivers of silver; it all works with that red hair.
Diane Kruger dressed like a red-carpet superhero in a sequined cape.
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GOOD
clockwise
Nicole Kidman; party on the top, and business down below.
Reese Witherspoon in what she always wears, but it was simple and glamorous and powerful.
Zoe Kravitz is gorgeous, save for the scratching of tats on her arms, and she can rock a basic strapless number.
Tracee Ellis Ross looking like royalty.
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MEH
ROW 1:
Angelina Jolie looks a little Joan Crawford to me, and since she has all those kids that is not a good look. Plus, she is just so beautiful she needs to wear something beautiful.
Dakota Johnson; the dress was good, better from the back, but it’s that damned pony tail! Did she just come in from the tennis court?
Elisabeth Moss; Lucy wore in better in the episode where she went to the Brown Derby for lunch. Plus, she’s a Scientologist so there’s that.
ROW 2:
Eva Longoria; yes, she’s pregnant, but it’s too low cut and cut too high. Show us one thing, Eva, the décolletage or the legs.
Gal Gadot is Wonder Woman but this looks like Wonder Woman having a board meeting for the Tractor Supply Company.
Issa Rae; don’t Jolie the leg … that’s over. And the material just looks cheap… even on Kerry Washington … see below.
ROW 3:
Jessica Biel is pretty in a pretty dress, but I hate seeing that white fabric through the black tulle; it looks unfinished.
Margot Robbie looks like her vagina got so hot it melted the silver metal work on the front of the dress.
Sarah Jessica Parker; enough with this look from you. It’s over.
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BAD
clockwise
Alicia Vikander looks like Ma Ingalls going to Pa Ingalls’ funeral. The back was bear, which was nice, but this is very severe, from hair to gown.
Catherine Zeta Jones is just too old for this trying-too-hard-bathing-suit-under-a-gown mess.
Halle Berry is just a mess; the hair, and the dress look like she just didn’t care.
Mariah Carey has a one-note fashion sense: the mermaid dress in which she can barely totter; sadly, it’s also the one note she can no longer sing.
Kerry Washington in what looks like a garbage bag dress; and don’t get me started on the messy had and the wide stance ….
Kate Hudson: see Catherine Zeta Jones. Plus, we all know your breasts are fabulous, but you don’t have to take them out all the time.
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MEN
Armie Hammer. I mean, c’mon, he’s beautiful and really really tall and, he, um, yeah, where was I?
Sterling K. Brown. Lord, he’s a hot man. I wonder how he’d feel being part of a Manwich with Armie and me?
Daniel Day Lewis didn’t walk the red carpet, but he was nominated for Phantom Thread, rumored to be his last film, so I’m letting all the DDL looks I’ve loved just sit here. A great actor and a gorgeous man. Sigh ….
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MORE MEN
clockwise
Chris Hemsworth. I wanna say something about Chris and Down under, but you know where I’m going so, um, yeah.
Milo Ventimiglia oozes machismo, and in a good way.
Nick Jonas is the Bear Cub of the runway; he looks a little stiff in his suit, and that’s all I’ll say about that.
Martin McDonagh directed Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri and looks a little like Woody Harrelson’s father and, yeah, I like some Woody.
Joseph Fiennes; his brother Ralph is hotter, but Joseph can rock a beard and will do in a pinch.
Ewan McGregor just seems classy, even when he wins an award, thanks his wife for twenty-years of marriage and then thanks the women for whom he left that wife.
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MARCHING TO THEIR OWN DRUMMER
Johnny Weir, clearly raisin Cher’s closet before the show.
Laurence Fishburne. ♫ ♪ He turning Japanese, I think he’s turning Japanese, I really think so ♪ ♫
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WTF
Kendall Jenner wearing a dress of enough fabric to make at least fifty other red-carpet gowns. And that pose? Can she not stand up straight? Plus, why the hell is she even at The Globes? Unless she thought olden Globes meant Kim was posing nude again and she wanted in on that.
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I only saw about 20 minutes while flipping through to get to another channel. First... what a great idea to send the message of wearing all black...stately, elegant and chic. How could it go wrong....but you prove it could and did. Now you know Angelina is my gal, and I loved the gown, as your aware I love anything Crawford....but she could have fixed her hair a tad better.
ReplyDeleteI happened upon the part where Zac Efron was presenting......WOOF!!!!!
I had heard Susan and Jessica were nominated for Feud????? The show was entertaining, but Golden Globe worthy?????
I was happy to hear about Guillermo del Toro.
I have never, ever watched a Golden Globes show, except when looking in the mirror nekkid, rim shot.
ReplyDeleteI think that a different color other than black should've been used. Women's issues are being heard now. A celebratory color would've worked better. Black is too funereal. The men basically wore what they would normally wear, so no bringing forth the issues there. Hot pink or electric blue, now that would've caught the attention!
I thought that was a Kraptashion and was shocked to find out it was Eva Longeria.
At the risk of being banned from commenting, I never really cared for Daniel Day-Lewis. I've seen a few of his movies, but he is always so dour even when smiling. His eyes look dead to me.
Redemption time: Armie Hammer, YAY! His jacket looks a little small, but who cares.
At first glance, I thought Johnny Weir was k.d.lang. I haven't had my coffee yet.
Viola Davis? Perfection! Not everyone can pull off the Fraggle Rock look and still be elegant. I certainly can't.
Great report! All black was an interesting
ReplyDeleteconcept. Maybe a color a year - but only for
good causes from now on. And no orange!
moooriah looking slutty as ever. and I didn't even recognize cowboy curtis (fishburne). do the kraptrashians HAVE to be everywhere they aren't even wanted?
ReplyDeleteLove your critiques! I only disagree with SJP. I thought her dress was very pretty, even if she's worn similar pieces before. But how on earth did you forget the sexy/adorable Zac Efron?!?!?
ReplyDeleteThat dress V Davis had on was to die for. When Catherine ZJ came out with her father-in-law, she reminded me of the naughty nurse in that get up. Oh, not to forget Mooriah. She had to have been sewn into that dress which was 20 sizes too small. She looked ridiculous and F A T. Someone get her some tea. The guys were amazing. Jonas and McGregor were so...dashing. *sigh*
ReplyDelete@Deedles, I would never ban you for No DDL love; just leave him to me.
ReplyDelete@Mark
ReplyDeleteEfron is kinda smarmy for me.
Thank you for pointing out the obvious re: KJenner...but she did, after all, bring about world peace with a can of Pepsi, right?
ReplyDeleteEva Longoria; yes, she’s pregnant, but it’s too low cut and cut too high. Show us one thing, Eva, the décolletage or the legs. TOTALLY AGREE.
ReplyDeleteMargot Robbie looks like her vagina got so hot it melted the silver metal work on the front of the dress. - SPIT OUT COFFEE LAUGHING!!!! ONLY YOU!!!
OK. This is the first time I've seen Laurence Fishburne - WTF!!??
All in all it wasn't as glam for me .... I get everyone wearing black in solidarity but it made it so staid.
Great job as always Bob!
XOXOXO
Deb
Kendall's dress makes it look as though she is trying to stop a hot air balloon from escaping and why do some females think that the right look for the big night is the negligee?
ReplyDelete