Random Musings

So, the other day at work a client comes in and when I ask how I can help him, he actually says to me:

Hey! How ya doin’ today? You keepin’ it real?

Yes, he was apparently a visitor from 1984. But, to make matters worse, that night I told Carlos about this Flash From The Bad Past and now Carlos has taken on the Keepin’ It Real Mantra, much to my chagrin and disdain and terror. Oh, and he’s added a dance, too.

FML.

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In another example of how presidential he is, this week Donald [t]Rump kicked out Jorge Ramos, a respected Univision reporter from a press conference because he asked a question [t]Rump didn’t like. And Teabagistan cheered.

Now, imagine all the hateful and idiotic things said and asked of Obama, and picture him throwing a reporter out of a press conference — take your time, I know it’s hard to conjure up the image of Barack Obama being a petulant child because he is a grown-assed man with manners and ethics — and then remind yourself how the Tae Party and the GOP would have crucified him for doing so.

But when [t]Rump does it they say nothing … which says volumes about them.

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Also in GOP presidential candidate news, prepare yourself for the announcement that Miss Ricky Perry will be dropping out of this race for the White House, too, because he has no more coins.

This week, Perry’s Iowa chairman, Sam Clovis, stepped down because the campaign cannot, and did not, pay him.

No coins, no White House, Ricky.

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I am not a computer wizard by a long-shot, but around our house, I am the IT guy — IT, as in Idiot Tech — and I like to have fun with it.

Carlos: Since you’re the smart one on the computer could you help me for a second?

Bob: You just said way too much.

Carlos: What you do mean?

Bob: You should have started and stopped with, ‘Since you’re the smart one.'

Carlos: :::crickets:::

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Casey Davis, the Kentucky clerk who is defying the Supreme Court’s on marriage equality says he’s willing to die fighting for man-woman marriage:

“Our law says ‘one man and one woman’ and that is what I held my hand up and took an oath to and that is what I expected. If it takes it, I will go to jail over — if it takes my life, I will die for because I believe I owe that to the people that fought so I can have the freedom that I have, I owe that to them today, and you do, we all do.”

First off, Casey, you’ll die to keep Adam and Steve, or Madam and Eve, from marrying? Prioritize, you fool. But then Steve goes on to show how much more stupid he really is:

“[The Supreme Court has] no right to tell us, the state of Kentucky, that our law that was voted with what was 70 percent of the people that it was wrong, they had no right.”

Um, Casey? Yes. They do. And what I find especially funny about idiots like Casey is that if the ruling had gone the other way, he’d be crowing about how the Supreme Court is the law of the land and we all need to obey.

Hypocritical, homophobic numbnut.

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I was perusing the channels one morning this week and came across the Today Show with Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford. I would have instantly switched away before the corneas of my eyes started to burn, but they were interviewing Amy Schumer, whom I love, so I watched for a minute.

Then Hoda asked Amy if she’d be interested in dating their stage manager, Yosef Herzog, and I expected to see some ass-cracking Teamster looking slob on camera.

But no .. Yosef is hot … bald and hot. And they showed a picture of shirtless Yosef on a paddleboard. Um, Amy? If you turn him down, can I have him?

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So, again, last week at work, I opted for a more casual look.

My shoes were bugging me, so I chose to wear a pair of boots — kinda work-bootish … workbootish? Man, am I gay … but I digress. Then I threw on a  pair of Levis and a nice plaid shirt and when someone questioned my wardrobe I looked down at my clothes, and then said:

Oh my God! I’m a Lesbian!

No offense to lesbians, but I was a tool-belt away from switching sides..

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In other County Clerks Who Refuse To Follow The Law news, according to the Sixth Circuit Court, Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis has “little to no likelihood” of prevailing upon appeal that would allow her to keep her job and be a homophobic bigot and hypocrite.

She’ll have to start giving marriage licenses to The Gays … like the four clerks who gave her marriage licenses in the past for her four one-man-one-woman marriages, did.

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Josh Duggar has entered a long-term sex addiction rehab to cure him of his need to scour the internet searching for strippers to bang while his pregnant wife sits at home reading the Bible.

Oh, and apparently, it’s the same kind of rehab Josh went to  15 years ago to “cure” himself of being a child molester. You know, the rehab where he spent the summer doing construction.

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The Alabama Law Enforcement Agency says budget cuts are the reason it will close 45 of the state’s 49 DMV offices.

Uh huh. And Alabama wants y’all to know that these closures are not happening so that low-income Alabamans will not have easy access to getting state-approved IDs so they can vote.

Remember, this has nothing to do with Voter Suppression.

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