I Ain't One To Gossip, But..............

Mel Gibson is a pompous windbag. He's a drunken, arrogant, anti-Semitic, homophobic, misogynist, adulterer. He holds up his old Catholic faith as the be all and end all of his life while he f**king around on his wife with a woman young enough to be his child, and who just gave birth to another of his children. I don't like him. Bet you didn't see that coming. But, here's another Mel-ism I find annoying. While promoting his latest film 'Edge of Darkness' on Chicago's WGN, Dean Richards interviewed Gibson until the conversation went in a direction Mel didn't want it to go: the aforementioned asshatted behavior. Richards asked: "Do you think the public will perceive you any differently after all that's been in the news about you?" Gibson responds defensively, "That's almost four years ago, dude ... I've done all the necessary mea culpas. Let's move on." Of course, because jittery Mel, swigging god-knows-what out of a paper coffee, is frustrated by the question, the interview ends, though not before Mel, in all his good taste and holier-than-thou upbringing, says: "Bye bye asshole" under his breath. Proves you can't teach an old drunk new tricks. Now, what would an ISBL gossipfest be without one of my BIGGEST subjects: Oprah Winfrey and Her Ginormous Ego. I'm sure you've all heard that O is quitting her daytime TV show [that sound you hear is a great deal of the world cheering] so she can go on to work at her own network, that she bought and paid for with the billions of dollars she loves to remind us that she has made. Her network, the Oprah Winfrey Network, or OWN, as in I own everything, will make it's debut featuring a documentary called, Behind the Scenes: Oprah's 25th Season.

So, Oprah is leaving her daytime show to go to work on her OWN network where she will feature a documentary about her daytime TV show.

Seriously, the only thing bigger than her ass is her ego.

I'm gonna have a tough time picking a Best Actress winner at this year's Oscars. I mean, Helen Mirren is the best actress alive, except for Meryl Streep, and then there's newcomer Gabourey Sidibie, and old favorite Sandra Bullock....along with someone I've never heard of, Carey Mulligan.

Who to choose.....who.....who?

Well, Meryl and Sandy are having a field day with all this talk of them dueling over the award. They are, apparently sending each other death threats.

Sandy says: "With Meryl, when this whole thing started, I left her a voice mail going, 'You've got to watch your back. I'm gonna cut you. I'm gonna take you down.'"

Meryl responded by sending Sandy a bouquet of dead orchids, telling Sandy to die.

Sandy sent Meryl a case of liquor and told her to "toast to white trash."

Gotta love 'em.

And you gotta give Sandy props because, in addition to her Oscar nom,she's up for a Razzie for Worst Performance by an Actress for All About Steve.

To which she said: "If I win, I am so showing up. I have to enjoy that as much as getting an Oscar nomination. It is the great balance in our business." A tad more pseudo-Oprah.

NBC, desperate to make some money after paying Coco $45 million to take his staff and go home, and losing all that revenue from the lack of viewers Jay brought to 10 PM, and admitting they'll lose several hundred million dollars on the Olympics, is digging through Oprah's trash to find a new show.

And they discovered Oprah's main gay--if you don't count her husband, Gayle--Nate Berkus.

NBC is picking up the syndicated series, Nate Berkus Show, which will feature special guests focused on lifestyle, entertainment and personal growth. There is even talk that Nate will move into O's old digs at Harpo as she'll need a much bigger place to house her ego, and her collection of cakes and pies.

Nate should start airing in the fall, just as Oprah.Leaves.The.Building.

From the Oh Dear Goddess Say It Isn't So File comes news that music producer Rodney Jerkins is pondering a duet of sorts between Lady GaGa and, wait for it......it's funny cuz it's ridiculous......who could it be....who is the last person you'd think GaGa would sing with.......BAM.......Lindsey Lohan!

Of course, trying to get Lindsey off the pipe and out of the clubs will be the first order of business. Then comes massive singing lessons, and someone to find a genie willing to give Lohan some talent.

So, it may not be happening.

But if it does......aaaaaah.....what a train wreck!

Again from the Oh Dear Goddess Say It Isn't So File, comes word that, and it hurts my throat just to say this, that Beyonce and Russell Crowe are up for the lead roles in a Warner Brothers remake of the classic A Star Is Born.

First off, Beyonce is no Janet Gaynor.....she's certainly no Judy Garland....and she's not even Barbra Streisand; and don't get me started on Crowe being anything like Fredric March or James Mason or Kris Kristofferson.

It'll be like the time that brilliant actress Whitney Houston teamed up with brilliant actor Kevin Costner for that brilliant classic, The Bodyguard; see, the studio thinks the interracial aspect will make it compelling movie-making.

Yeah, just like The Bodyguard.

Nothing is set, yet, so this could all be just some horrible dream

Horrible. Judy and Janet and Fredric and James are probably turning over in their graves and Barbra and Kris are probably turning over....wherever they are right now, because maybe it's night there and they are asleep.

But, still, they're turning over.

And, since I started with a drunken actor, let's end with one.

Character actor Rip Torn was arrested last week in Salisbury, Connecticut, for allegedly, drunkenly, breaking into a bank! With.A.Gun. He reportedly broke into the Litchfield Bancorp building and was promptly caught by state police who noticed that Torn was "highly intoxicated" at the time of his arrest. Torn is currently being held on $100k bond at North Canaan and has been charged with: --First-degree burglary --First-degree criminal trespass --Carrying a pistol without a permit --Carrying a firearm while intoxicated --Third-degree criminal mischief

ext time, Rip, use the ATM.