Who's Normal?

Oy! All this hubbub about men's figure skating and who's manly and athletic and who's flamboyant [read: gay] and out there.
I mean, here we are in the 21st century for crying out loud and we're caught up in gender-identity issues and who's a real man and who maybe isn't. Haven't we moved beyond the Marlboro image of he-manlyness? Or, is a man really a man if he's tough and rugged and, well, doesn't ice skate with a pink tassel on his shoulder?

NBC and the Olympics have pissed me off with their continued discussions of athletic, traditional Evan Lysacek [read: hetero] and the flamboyant Johnny Weir [read: homo]. They act as though Evan is more of a man because, while he wears feathered gloves and sequined body stockings on the ice, he doesn't wear corsets and tassels, and primp and pose, and skate around with a tiara of roses. And you get the feeling that the judges scores are not based solely on artistic and technical merit, but costumes, hair and make-up, with a little, life off the ice thrown in.

So, did Johnny place so low in the standings because people don't like his brand of skating; or did Evan place so high because he's the safer, man's man choice?

I think it's fear.

Fear of saying, Wow, Johnny is flamboyant and wild and marches to his own drummer, but, damn, he can skate! Fear of looking a little too gay, whatever that means, if you happen to enjoy the athletic prowess and in-your-face razzle-dazzle of a man who doesn't say he's out, but isn't really in, either.

And it's also fear of guilt by association. I know first hand, because people have been asking me for a week how I feel about Johnny Weir. It's like they all gather around and talk about him, and then, as a group, vote to bring the discussion to the in-house queer.

Do I like Johnny Weir? Hell yeah. He skates to his own drummer, he wears whatever the hell he wants, and he acts how he chooses. His skating, his personage, his life, are a big Fuck you to anyone with a hang-up about what makes a man a real man.

So, then I don't like Evan Lysacek? No, I like him too. He is a bit more traditional, if we forgive the feathered gloves and sequins; he does seem a bit more athletic. But that doesn't make him a man.
Last I checked, having a penis makes you a man.

Johnny Weir scares people because he's Johnny Weir; he's this year's Adam Lambert. He doesn't fit the mold of ice skaters of years past. He doesn't talk of athleticism and quads, he talks about "rockin' the tassel." As for Evan Lysacek, he doesn't scare people; he'll do fine as 2010's Kris Allen on ice. He's the guy next door who, because he doesn't tassel and corset, must work harder at being a manly-man skate. A lot of folks like the Kris Allens and Evan Lysaceks because they seem so normal. But normal isn't all it's cracked up to be. I imagine Michelangelo wasn't normal; or Da Vinci; Gertrude Stein wasn't normal. k.d. lang, who blew the roof off the place during the opening ceremonies, isn't what people might consider normal.

Which is another way of saying there is no such thing as normal.

Johnny Weir is normal for Johnny Weir; flashy costumes, over-the-top quotes, flourishes, are normal. Evan Lysacek is normal for Evan Lysacek; athletic, good looking, a few feathers in Johnny Cash black.

Neither is bad. They're both just different.
And different is good.
And it's normal.