Vacation Post: Slang For Gay ... Old-School

I once had a person comment on the blog that they didn’t like me using the word “queer” when talking about The Gays. I responded that, while I know, and believe me, I know, the pain that word can cause, I was taking it back and in doing so, taking away some of the pain caused when I first started hearing that word in relation to me.

See, before 'gay' became the common and accepted word choice in describing homosexuals, there were a whole bunch of other words about men who loved men; some names were self-created and others were thrust, often cruelly, upon gay, bi, and queer men. 

So, as a way of keeping the words, and our history, alive, and, again, as a way of taking them back, let’s look at some ways in which people referred to The Gays …

Mary

A common, mostly innocuous term of the middle of the 20th century used among gay and bi men. An alternative: Mary Louise.

Light in the loafers

Mid-century American. It can refer more to demeanor than sexual practices, but it is mildly derogatory.

Friend of Dorothy

Refers to Dorothy Gale of The Wizard of Oz? Played by Judy Garland in the film? Get it? Huh?

Bent

Polite but derogatory; there was a Broadway play and film of the same name.

Poof

Australian/British slang that is said to be derived from the sounds the bugee makes when expelling air from a freshly stretched anus; poofter is also acceptable.

Flit

1950s American slang popularized by J.D. Salinger’s novel The Catcher in the Rye.

Bugger

Can be as widely used as the word fuck with as many meanings. Based on the word buggery [sodomy], it carries with it a rowdy feel, as it is a word straight British men tend to favor.

Fairy

This one denotes not only homosexuality but effeminacy. 

Pansy

When British eccentric Stephen Tennant was but a lad, he ran out of the family mansion one morning to play, only to come screaming back to his mother in tears. When she queried him about his distress, he replied, “Mother, there are pansies in the garden, and they are staring at me!”

Fruit, also Fruitcake

A British term, possibly from the gay subculture language Polari. Fruitcake can also mean a crazy person because gay meant crazy.

Uranian

The earliest reference available come from Karl Heinrich Ulrichs' book The Race of Uranian Hermaphrodites, i.e., the Man-Loving Half-Men in 1864. The term came to be used mostly by German men. There is still a gay touring agency called Uranian Travel.

Nancy boy

Based on a vaudeville term. The Nance was a gay burlesque character that was a staple of the times, though it is now considered derogatory.

Pillow biter

It was ALLEGED that British MP Jeremy Thorpe, left, a former leader of the U.K. Liberal Party, was having a homosexual affair with Norman Scott, right, a model, and that Thorpe claimed he had to “bite the pillow” to keep quiet so his wife would not hear him being buggered in the next room. This story seems fairly conflated, but amusing enough to repeat here.

Shirt lifter

Well, obviously you don’t want to get your shirt besmirched when you're prpeared to bugger or be buggered, do you? 

Invert

Essentially meaning that despite outward markers of male and female gender, a person’s sexual nature was inverted. This term was popularized in the late 19th and early 20th century by sexologists, but doubtfully used among the actual inverts. 

And this was long before queer and fag and ass bandit and cock jockey and flamer and … oh there are so many ….

The Advocate

Vacation Post: Hate Bills Are Springing Up Everwhere

Well, it’s been almost a year since the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage and for anyone who thought we’d be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for our Civil Rights needs to think again.

Since that historic ruling, we have seen a backlash against the LGBT in neatly half of the country:

A new law in Mississippi lets any person or any business deny services to same-sex couples because of so-called “religious objections.”

In North Carolina, Governor McCrory signed a law banning any city in the state from passing LGBT anti-discrimination ordinances and barring transgender people from using bathrooms that match their gender identity.

In Tennessee, they also have a “bathroom bill,” plus a bill that lets mental health professionals refuse to treat LGBT patients.

But that’s not all, not by a longshot; there are more than 100 active bills like those in 22 states around the country and they all fall into a handful of categories—mostly being discriminatory to the LGBT community: some are bathroom bills, some let judges refuse to marry same-sex couples, some let businesses deny services to LGBT people.

And it’s all a reaction from the so-called “Christian” conservatives and the GOP in response to that step toward equality we made last year. But some of their efforts have failed spectacularly.

In 2014, facing outcry from the business community, Arizona’s then-Governor Jan Brewer — a Republican — vetoed a bill that would have let businesses cite their religious beliefs to deny services to LGBT customers.

In 2015, Indiana Governor Mike Pence — a Republican — got hammered by the media and the business community after signing a law that allowed businesses to discriminate against LGBT people; he then signed an “amended “ version that scaled back the provisions in the original.

And that’s the way we’ll fight these upcoming proposed laws throughout the country: with our dollars and the dollars of the LGBT allies in business. When companies based in states with these anti-LGBT bills, and big corporations with hubs in those states, begin stepping forward with threats to close up shop, to cease expansion in these areas, the economy of those states will suffer and, when that happens, laws will change.

But anti-LGBT activists have a blueprint of their own to follow, one they base on the same tactics used in the anti-abortion movement. The minute the Supreme Court ruled for marriage equality, Frank Schubert, the strategist behind California’s Proposition 8, and National Organization for Marriage [NOM] president Brian Brown began a strategy of trying to erode LGBT rights through fear and fear of religious liberties being eroded … though that has never happened.

Yet that’s the tactic they used in Houston last year, and it worked. The city was weighing an LGBT anti-discrimination measure, the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance or HERO, and it was expected to pass. Houston had a lesbian mayor — Annise Parker — and an anti-discrimination ordinance already in place, but religious conservatives overwhelmingly defeated it by running TV ads that demonized trans women and suggested the ordinance would allow male sex predators into women’s rest rooms. When HERO went down, conservatives saw a strategy that worked, and soon these “bathroom bills” and “religious freedom” bills began popping up everywhere, though mostly in the very religious South.

Here are some of the bills being proposed around the country:

Religious Freedom Restoration Acts – Conservatives are putting forward state-level RFRAs to let people claim religious liberty as a reason to deny services to LGBT people. That means an evangelical Christian baker can refuse to bake a cake for a same-sex wedding; or the photographer can refuse to provide services to a gay couple based on his or her perceived religious objections; and if that’s not bad enough, some of these bills are so broadly written they can be interpreted as a means to allow discrimination against single mothers, interfaith couples and interracial couples. Eight states have active RFRA bills: Colorado, Hawaii, Iowa, Maine, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina and Oklahoma.

First Amendment Defense Acts [FADA] … allow any person, business or taxpayer-funded organization to ignore any law that conflicts with their religious beliefs about marriage. But these not only discriminate against LGBT people, but can extend to single mothers and anybody with a sexual relationship outside of marriage. Three states have active FADA bills: Hawaii, Illinois and Oklahoma.

Pastor Protection Acts … allow churches to refuse to perform marriages that conflict with their religious beliefs, even though the First Amendment already covers this right. There are Pastor Protection Acts in fourteen states: Arkansas, Colorado, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Mississippi, New Jersey, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Tennessee.

Government-officials-using-your-taxpayer-funds-against-you bills … allow judges and clerks to refuse to perform same-sex marriages or issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples; four states have active bills like this: Kentucky, Minnesota, Mississippi and South Carolina.

No-wedding-cake-for-non-straight-non-white-heathens bills … allow businesses to refuse to provide goods or services related to marriages that conflict with their religious beliefs; but these bills can also be used to deny services to interracial and interfaith marriages; four states have active bills like this: Kentucky, Minnesota, Missouri and Ohio.

Other marriage exemption bills … provide other kinds of religious exemptions relating to same-sex marriage; five states have active bills in this category: Kentucky, Michigan, Missouri, Oklahoma and South Carolina.

Bathroom Bills … ban transgender people from using public bathrooms that match their gender identity, and even makes the suing of the “wrong” bathroom a criminal offense; nine states have active bills relating to this: Illinois, Kansas, Kentucky, Minnesota, Missouri, Mississippi, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Tennessee.

God-Doesn’t-Want-Gay-People-To-Raise-Kids Bills … allow adoption and foster care agencies to refuse to provide any services that conflict with their religious beliefs about marriage, such as same-sex couples, regardless of what is in the best interests of a child; three states have pending bills like this: Alabama, Nebraska and Oklahoma.

And yet, even with all these Hate Bills out there, there are too many categories for all of them, but here are a few more of note: California and South Carolina have bills that require public universities to provide funds for student organizations, regardless of whether the organization discriminates against LGBT people based on religious beliefs. Arkansas, Oklahoma and Tennessee have bills that allow health professionals to services to LGBT people by citing religious objections.  And one bill in Oklahoma prevents local governments from passing nondiscrimination protections, including LGBT protections that go further than protections at the state level; North Carolina’s recent anti-LGBT law does this as well.

So, let’s celebrate the fact that we have won marriage equality, but while we sip our champagne and eat our non-hate-bakery goods, remember that the march is far from over.

The anger from the right over losing on marriage equality is fueling all kinds of hate bills aimed at our community out of spite and we cannot allow this to happen.

We need to use our voices, our votes — Vote Blue! — and our wallets to send a message that hate, for any reason, especially hate using God and Jeebus and the Bible as a reason, will not be accepted.

h/t HuffPo Queer Voices

Gone, Gurl .....

Okay, so this was the happy post I wanted to start Monday with until I got a little derailed by Crazy.

Carlos and I are off to Oregon for ten days or so to visit my Dad. He recently moved back to Oregon from Washington state and so we're helping him unpack and set the house up, as well as having a little vacation in places we love.

Portland.

Toledo.

Newport.

Astoria.

Then home to these faces, Tuxedo, Ozzo, MaxGoldberg and Consuelo Roca-Jones ... though one of them ... and I'm not naming names, Tuxedo ... seems especially miffed that we're going out of town and leaving him and his brothers and sister with the nanny.

I have some preplanned post coming up, but other than that I won't be "live" and Laughing until Thursday the 28th.

Everyone play nice ....

She Calls Herself A Christian ... I Think Baby Jeebus Might Differ

Good Monday Morning ... I was gonna start off the week with an uplifting happy post but then I decided to go this way ....

So, I work in a very small business with a handful — maybe two handfuls — of co-workers and I like it; though it is true that the smaller the work environment the more drama, and we’ve had our fair share.

We had a woman working there for a while who shall remain nameless — oh, hell, her name is Michelle Nunnery Coward … which is the height of hilarity as you’ll see — that I really liked. 

She met Carlos when he came into my job one day, and I met her husband when he stopped by; she grew jalapeño peppers in her garden and gave us a bunch and I made a batch of jalapeño pesto and gave her some. Carlos and I have an annual party at our house in May and I was telling him we should invite Michelle and her husband.

Suddenly, though, she up and quit the job; she said it was health related but I don’t know. And slowly, after she quit, she went after several co-workers on Facebook, saying vile things about them — before I forget, Michelle Nunnery Coward wants y’all to know she’s a Good Christian Woman — and then unfriending them.

At work we would laugh and say that I was the only one she really liked. Not so much …

Over the weekend she posted a picture of President Obama in drag with a racist transphobic caption about those “Bathroom Bills” and I replied that I thought it was offensive and disgusting. I got into a bit of a Facebook scuffle with a racist, homophobic, possibly illiterate cousin-f**king friend of hers. And then just deleted the entire post so I couldn’t see that hate.

Then, yesterday morning I got this private message from Michelle Nunnery Coward — and Coward fits best though Nunnery? Not even close — that she sent to me before unfriending me:

"Oh sorry Bob but most of my friends on Facebook agree with me don't want fags dressing like girls going in the girls restrooms!

You know you love to cause drama that's what you are all about!

You are strange and a fag!

I am guessing you are the girl in your relationship because fags are not allowed to be married in God's law!!!!

Sorry go back to California where your faggot ass belongs!!!!!

Smooches!!!"

Let’s not even discuss the illiterate nature of the comment, but remember that this is someone I considered a friend — and I’m usually a pretty good judge of character; I guess I missed that one.

Don't feel bad for me; I don't. After Michelle Nunnery Coward went off on my fellow co-workers I joked that I was waiting for my turn. And I got it, thankyouverymuch.

Now, before anyone says a word about South Carolina and Christians, I must say this: We have lived her almost ten years now and this is the very first time anyone, friend or not, has spoken to me like this, so it isn’t South Carolina and it isn’t Christians.

It’s people like Michelle Nunnery Coward.

The Funny Papers

Bill Day, Clay Bennett, David Horsey, Mike Luckovich, Drew Sheneman, Darrin Bell, John Cole

It's Snarkurday!

Oh, it’s a Kardastrophe! Khloe Kardastrophe, that is. Her brilliantly awful talk show, Kocktails with Khloe has been Kanceled.  I know, Surprise! Not.

And, ALLEGEDLY, the show was canceled because it was Khloe Khaos up in there. While it ALLEGEDLY had been a ratings bonanza for the FYI network — not to be confused with the FML network — because it had more viewers than the test pattern it replaced, it was all such a hot mess that the plug was finally pulled.

But the biggest hot mess was Khloe herself who was used to being on a hit show and being kinda the boss, but suddenly finding that she wasn’t all that and a bag of chips.

Let me break it down like this: the Kardastrophes are big on E! because E! puts them everywhere and caters to their every whim, but when you take a Kardastrophe, That Woman or Khloe, and put them where they have no E! publicity machine, they tank because, wait for it, no one really cares.

It’s like a bad sequel to Back to the Future, Part Has-been: Nicolas Cage and Vince Neil apparently got into a brawl outside the Aria Hotel in Las Vegas last week.

The fight started inside the hotel after a woman came up to Nicolas and Vince and asked Nicolas for an autograph. Then ALLEGEDLY, Vince Neil, apparently pissed the women didn’t know who he was, walked up behind the woman, yanked her hair and pulled her to the ground.

And so Nicolas Cage went all superhero on Neil’s ass, and the fight was taken outside where Cage tried to get Neil into a car … and that was all caught on tape.

Police were called and Vince Neil was cited for battery, but was not arrested. Odd, since he’s currently the subject of a criminal investigation for other Vegas brawls.

But it’s the video that’s kinda funny — Google it and you’ll see — because Nicolas Cage appears to be angling for another Oscar as his emotions run the gamut from screaming and shrieking at Vince Neil, to holding him close and whispering in his ear.

But maybe it’s just Nicolas Cage being insane … again.

So, we’ve heard about 50 Cent’s legal issues: he owes millions in damages for being a dick, and then tried to claim that he has no money, all the while posting pictures to social media of himself standing in front of piles of cash.

Well, Fiddy was in bankruptcy court again and the judge in the case was not amused at his lack of interest in the case.

Judge Ann Nevins wasn’t playing when she said she didn’t want to see anymore Instagram pictures of 50 Cent’s wads of cash pics. See, the last time Fiddy was in bankruptcy court to discuss those pictures, he took another picture of himself with thousands of dollars stuffed into his pants while he was eating M&Ms.

Cuz that’s what asshats do in bankruptcy court.

So when Judge Nevins saw that picture she took away Fiddy’s phone. Wow, how will Fiddy be able to mock the judicial system now that his iPhone is in contempt of court?

So Blac Chyna and Rob Kardastrophe are engaged. How’s that gonna play out? Um, on TV ALLEGEDLY and soon, too, because Blac’n’Rob don’t want to draw it out.

Blac’n’Rob are hoping to negotiate some kind of TV deal which would show the wedding planning and the actual wedding — just like Kim’s nanosecond marriage to Kris Humphries — and That Woman, who doesn’t much care for Blac and thinks the engagement is all media hype, is now trying to negotiate the deal so she can get a few coins out of it, too.

No word on whether or not she’ll negotiate the Divorce Court episode where Blac’n’Rob untie their mess of a union about 72 days after tying the knot.

And while we’re on Kardastrophe’s and those who are Kardastrophe-adjacent, did y’all hear this week when Kendall Jenner announced that she started the trend of wearing wigs and that no one else wore them until she did?

Marie Antoinette was last seen crawling from her crypt to bitch slap that child, and starting an army with RuPaul, Dolly Parton, Raquel Welch, George Washington, Patti LaBelle, Little Richard, King Louis XIV, Cher, and me, at age thirteen, wearing one of my Mom’s wigs on  Halloween.

Kendall, honey, sit down. For a long time please.

Now, due to a court order, newspapers in England and Wales can’t print any of the gritty details of this story, but thankfully we are not England and Wales …

Apparently David Furnish, the husband of Elton John — the subject of a sexual harassment lawsuit — has been named in a sex scandal across the pond.

English papers are calling the couple “AB” and “CD” while reporting the tale of a “well-known figure”, AKA David Furnish, who had a threesome with another couple more than four years ago.

The National Enquirer — and remember they broke the John Edwards cheater story — says “Elton John betrayed by cheating husband” though they also say John says he knew about the relationship. According to the Enquirer, Furnish had unprotected sex with a man at least twice—an allegation John’s lawyers deny—and that Furnish joined the man and his husband in a threesome that involved cavorting in a kiddie pool filled with olive oil.

Seriously … olive oil and kiddie pools. And since they have been banned from telling the tale, The Sun newspaper was left to simply publishing a picture of a small plastic pool and a glass jar of olive oil.

Just sayin’.

Last we heard from Megan Fox she was divorcing her husband Brian Austin Green after several years of marriage and two children.

Or, is it three children? See, Megan Fox is pregnant again — showing off a baby bump to promote the no-one-asked-for-this sequel to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — and the baby daddy is  none other than her soon-to-be ex.

It seems that while separating and planning to divorce, Brian and Megan shared a house and a bed and the desire to have unprotected sex and now they’ll go on with the divorce and the baby.

Only in Hollywood.

It’s not exactly shaping up to be a great week for Kardastrophes, and those who are Kardastrophe-adjacent.

Khloe’s show got the boot, and then she took out an ad, or just flapped her lips, that she’s done, again, with Lamar Odom. Kanye Kardastrophe also trotted out yet another excuse for his stealing the limelight from Taylor Swift—something he did almost twenty years ago … or at least it feels like it.

And now Tyga, the baby daddy to his girlfriend’s brother’s soon-to-be stepchild, might have to say goodbye to another one of his leased luxury cars. According to documents Tyga owes a whole lot of money to Choice Motor Credit and hasn’t made a single payment on his 2013 Lamborghini Aventador.

But this isn’t Tyga’s first run in with creditors who want their coins. Earlier this year, Choice Motor Credit repossessed Tyga’s 2014 Bentley Mulsanne — because he still owed $91,000 for that car — and last Summer it was revealed that Tyga owed two different landlords a combined total of $150,000 in unpaid rent. 

And now the repo man has a’calling … again. Look for a Very Special Episode of Keeping Up With The Kardastrophe’s: Tyga Loses His Car … And His Shiz.

Oh Gwyneth Paltrow, you slay me with your snobbery.

Gwyneth has a new cookbook that someone wrote for her called It’s All Easy because Gwyneth is all about the simplistic of cooking … like asking the maid to rustle up some eggs … ordering the gardener to cut you a salad from the Back Forty … asking the driver to swing by Whole Foods for a bale of kale.

But it was this line that killed me, with Paltrow declaring her home a microwave free zone:

“I do not own a microwave. No. I believe in the old-fashioned way of heating things up.”

Gwyneth-speak for:

I have the servants heat it up with the flame from an old Bic lighter.

And one more thing Gwyneth will not tolerate: dill.

“It really offends me.”

Dill was last seen trying to score a dime bag on Skid Row to put itself out of Paltrow’s misery.