I Didn't Say It ...

Dan Patrick, Texas Republican Rightwingnut Lt. Governor, offering a reason for the shooting in Texas:

“We may have to look at the design of our schools moving forward and retrofitting schools that are already built. There are too many entrances and too many exits. There are not enough people to put a guard in every entrance or exit …. maybe we need to look at limiting the entrances and exits into our schools so that we can have law enforcement looking at the people who are coming.”

So, it’s never guns. It’s doors. It’s trench coats. It’s abortions.

No, it’s Texas, and it’s asshats.

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Fred Guttenberg, father of Parkland victim Jaimee Guttenberg, on Patrick’s asshattery:

“I think those are the most idiotic comments I’ve ever heard regarding gun safety. Let me be clear, he should be removed from office for his failure to what to protect the citizens of Texas. To hear him continue to make the argument—after 10 people died in his state—that guns are not the issue is simply a crock.”

Hopefully more and more Americans are not buying what the GOP, the NRA-owned GOP, is spewing.

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Martin a gay man who didn’t come out until he was 85, on it being his greatest regret:

“It’s tough to be an outsider. I regret being such a sissy. So nervous. So bloody shy. I left it till I was actually 85 years old to really basically come out. I’ve missed the boat as regards to finding a lovely partner, a soulmate that I could love, live with. If you ask me if you want to set up with another young guy, go ahead, do it. You’ve got it. You owe it to yourself. And to him.”

Welcome Out, Martin. And, naturally, you’ll accept our Coming Out Toaster Oven and copy of The Gay Agenda.

See, it doesn’t matter so much when you come out, it matters that you come out.

And you, sir, have helped a great many people by doing so. Thank you.

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Donald Glover, on the rumor that his Star Wars character, the young Lando Calrissian, was sexually fluid:

“How can you not be pansexual in space? There’s so many things to have sex with. I’m serious. I didn’t think that was weird. Yeah, he’s coming on to everybody…It just didn’t seem that weird to me. It’s kind of like, the doors open. It’s like, no, only guys or girls. No, it’s anything. This thing is literally a blob. Are you a man or a woman? Like, who cares? Have a good time out here.”

And now you know!

PS He’s hot.

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Oliver North, traitorous arms dealer, blaming school shootings on Ritalin and video games:

“If school shield had been in place in Santa Fe High School, far less likely that would have happened. The problem we’ve got is we’re trying like the dickens to fight the symptom without treating the disease. The disease in this case isn’t the 2nd amendment, the disease is youngsters who are steeped in a culture of violence, they’ve been drugged in many cases. Nearly of these perpetrators are male and they’re young teenagers in most cases. They’ve come through a culture where violence is commonplace. All we need to do is turn on the TV. Go to a movie. Many of these young boys have been on Ritalin since they were in kindergarten. Now I’m certainly not a doctor, I’m a Marine. But I can see those kinds of things happening.” 

He’s not a doctor, but he knows that Ritalin is the cause. But, um, Ollie? Traitor? Criminal? What about young girls on Ritalin? Why are they shootin’ up the schools?

Oh yeah, you’re a lying, pandering, NRA check cashing asshat.

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Art Acevedo, Houston Police Chief, blaming elected officials for inaction on the state and federal level in response to repeated shootings at schools:

"Let me tell you, people at the state level and the federal level in too many places in our country are not doing anything other than offering prayers. We need to start using the ballot box and ballot initiatives to take the matters out of the hands of people that are doing nothing that are elected into the hands of the people to see that the will of the people in this country is actually carried out. I think that the American people, gun owners—the vast majority of which are pragmatic—actually support gun sense and gun reform in terms of keeping guns in the right hands, [but] if you have firearms in your home and you do not secure them and you don't secure them in a manner that can preclude someone from grabbing them and taking them and carrying out this carnage, [there] is a criminal liability that attaches. I believe that anyone that owns a firearm that doesn't secure it properly [and it] ends up in the wrong hands and used to kill innocent people, that that should carry some significant consequences. We need to think about that on the national level across this country."

Another voice of reason. Listen.

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Sarah Paulson, my favorite actress—besides Meryl—on her relationship with Holland Taylor: 

“If anyone wants to spend any time thinking I’m strange for loving the most spectacular person on the planet, then that’s their problem. I’m doing just fine.”

Word.

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Matt Bomer, My Husband in My Head, on the night during a preview of Broadway’s revival of The Boys In The Band, when the prop crew forgot to leave a towel for him during a shower scene:

“I had the choice to either do the rest of the 10-minute scene butt-naked, which would not have made any sense. Or, there’s like a glass partition, so I had to kind of coyly reach around and grab my tighty-whities and put them back on my soaking wet body, and then do the rest of the scene in wet tighty-whities.”

Okay, I’m’a just say that the crew didn’t 'forget,’ they wanted a chance for some Bomer Butt on Broadway and gave it their best shot.

I mean, it’s what I would have done.

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