Why Is It ...

… that after I told a co-worker I could tell he was a C-section baby by the way he avoids labor that HR is once again asking to see me.

… that people don’t realize that as you get older you need to care less about how you look in photos and more about how you look in x-rays, scans and test result.

… that from now on I will identify as a rubber band, stretched to my limit, holding everything together but ready to snap

… that we have to pay for trash bags just to throw them out with the trash

… that one of my new favorite games is “Did I take Ibuprofen thirty minutes ago or did I just think about taking it?”

… that kids today cannot write a paper for school without resorting to AI when I was able to write ten pages for school with ever having read the book

… that people wait until New Years Day to cut people out of their lives … I’m like, Happy August 22nd, now get the fuck out!

… that when my therapist asked if my fifteen-year-old self would be proud of me today, I said, “My fifteen-year-old self would be stunned that I’m still alive!”

… that when someone asked if I had a favorite bird I instantly replied Rotisserie Chicken at CostCo

… that when I said, “Maybe I’m just too demanding? Maybe I’m just like my father, too bold? Maybe I’m just like my mother, she’s never satisf—” My therapist shrieked, “Get out.”