I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

A few years ago, musician Phil Collins went through an ugly divorce with Orianne Cevey. He was granted a divorce but she refused to leave the marital home until he had her removed, and then they got back together, though they remained divorced.

But it was while they were living together as a couple, and while Phil was on tour, that Orianne met and secretly married Thomas Bates in Las Vegas. The happy couple then took over Phil’s Miami house “‘by a show of force’ with armed guards who surrounded the property” and tried to have Phil evicted. But, once again, after a year, Phil had the lovebirds removed from his home, and suddenly Orianne was no longer happy with Thomas—who says she threatened to chop off his dick—and she filed for divorce.

And it’s through those divorce papers that we learn Orianne “ordered” Thomas through an escort service where he was, ahem, advertised as a “sexy intellectual” according to the divorce paperwork:

“At the time the parties met, Husband was employed by an escort service …. The Wife selected Husband through the escort service and insisted on dating him. The parties’ relationship rapidly progressed into a meaningful romantic relationship. Wife persuaded Husband to leave the escort service to marry her.”

Sadly, after getting the boot from Phil, Orianne posted the news of her divorce from Thomas on Instagram:

“I am filing for divorce from my husband, Thomas Bates. I believe the emotional distress of the COVID quarantine caused me to act in ways and do things that were out of character. Fortunately, I have faced challenging situations before and like I always have, I will muster the strength I can, the best team I can find and the courage to do the right thing.”

Part of that strength is gathered from entering Phil’s home—dammit, man, change the locks already—to auction off things in her life that no longer “sparked joy” … like Phil’s gold records, Phil’s awards, and 5,000 pairs of Phil’s shoes.

But all is not lost for Thomas, as he still has his dick and his escort resume, and because he and Orianne married with no prenup, the money she earns from purging her less joyous possessions is half his.

Until he finds another wife.

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Yes, I know, The Slap was the big news at the 94th Academy Awards but the Second Biggest News was Liza In A Wheelchair pushed onstage by Lady Gaga. But was that all that we thought it was, or not? The appearance of Liza Minnelli in that state caused many to worry about her physical state, but maybe the wheelchair was a second choice.

According to Liza’s friend and frequent collaborator, Michael Feinstein, Liza wasn’t happy with her appearance. Appearing on SIriusXM’s Jess Cagle Show Feinstein says Liza’s back has been giving her problems and she asked to appear onstage in a director’s chair alongside Gaga when the curtain opened, but just five minutes before she was set to present the Pest Picture award, a stage manager told her she had to use a wheelchair.

Liza initially said, “Fuck That!” and was prepared to come out on her own but Feinstein says she was forced into the wheelchair:

“She was nervous. I mean, and it made her look like she was out of it. And she was just so shaken up that it was. Can you imagine being suddenly forced to be seen by millions of people the way you don’t wanna be seen? That’s what happened to her.”

Really, Michael? Liza Effing Minnelli asks for a director’s chair and they couldn’t find one in all of Hollywood, but they just happened to have a wheelchair at the ready?

Try again.

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In 2017, Blac Chyna, who had a baby and a TV show—Rob & Chyna—with Rob Kardastrophe filed a lawsuit against the entire Kardastrophe-Jenner family—The Woman, Kourtney, Kim, Khloé, Kendall, Kylie, and Rob—over claims of assault, battery, domestic violence, defamation and interference with prospective economic relations.

Chyna, whose real name is Angela White, ALLEGED that Rob is an abuser intent on destroying Angela White, the mother of his child, and she says that, in revenge, the Kardastrophe-Jenner family became media predators, slut-shaming her on social media and killing her hit television show [‘Rob & Chyna’] which had already begun filming a second season. And so now Chyna wants $40 million for loss of earning damages and $60 million in loss of future earning capacity damages.

But the best part is that, as the trial began, Kim, Khloé, Kylie and That Woman, appeared in the courtroom during jury selection; even better, they were left unprepared for what potential jurors think of them.

These Four Whores of the Apocalypse did not like it when their lawyer, Michael Rhodes, asked a group of potential jurors if they had strong positive or negative feelings toward reality television.

One man says he’d never watched Keeping Up with the Kardastrophes but:

“I have watched [Kim] Kardastrophe’s sex tape, and I don’t think I can be impartial on this case.”

The response elicited a roar of laughter from the other potential jurors, though the K’s were less than amused. Kim was ALLEGEDLY very upset, but then, you know, don’t lay flat on your back, heels to Jesus, letting your boyfriend ride you like a rodeo clown, and don’t drop to your knees to worship Dick, and film, and then let your mother sell that tape to a porn company to jumpstart your career, m’kay?

Several other people said they knew only about the K’s because their kids watch the show and follow them on social media, while one juror admitted it would be difficult to be impartial because he doesn’t like reality TV and wished the show “wasn’t on any longer.”

Here are more juror comments:

“Anything that has to do with their names is just a big no for me. I don’t think reality TV is good for society.”

“I sincerely hope none of these people get any wealthier because of this.”

“I don’t think they were the best role models. I wouldn’t let [my daughter] watch anything involving them.”

And it’s only going to worse for the K’s once the trial actually starts because Blac Chyna will say anything to get those 100 million coins.

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