Random Musings

Caitlyn Jenner wants to be “President” Ted Cruz’s ‘trans ambassador’.

I want Caitlyn Jenner to learn which party supports her and which party seeks to deny her rights as both a woman and a trans woman.

Failing that, sit down.

One day, as I was getting ready to leave for work, I walked into our home office to grab something off the desk.

Miss Consuelo chased me into the room and said: “Meow.”

I speak Fluent Cat and knew that meant, ‘Open a window so I can howl at the birds,’ and so I replied: “I can’t open a window, Miss. I have to leave.”

Consuelo: “Meow.”

Me: “I can’t. I.Have.To.Go.”

Consuelo: “Me.Ow.”

I thought to myself: I’m seriously arguing with a cat? And she’s winning? She won?

Well, a federal appeals court ruled last week that Wide-Stance Larry Craig, former Senator, who was arrested in an airport bathroom back in 2007 for soliciting sex from an undercover officer, improperly used campaign funds to pay for his legal defense.

Now Craig must reimburse the government $197,535 and pay a civil penalty of $45,000 for violating federal election laws.

In 2007, Craig quietly pleaded guilty to disturbing the peace with his Wide-Stance-Foot-Tap-Bathroom-Hijinks but said his actions were misconstrued and he was not gay. He paid a fine, and then began a prolonged, unsuccessful legal fight to reverse his plea using money from campaign accounts.

And now he owes the money back. Perhaps he should start trolling bathrooms and charging for his, um, hijinks?

RuPaul’s Drag Race returned this week with some fabulous queens … and a couple who are quite hot outta their drag:

Bob The Drag Queen, [left] who told Ru his drag name is in honor of his father. Ru said, “Your dad’s name is Bob?” and Bob said, “No, it’s ‘The Drag Queen,’ Bob stands for Big Ole Bottom!”

And then we have Derrick Barry [right], another drag queen with a boy name, known for his Britney Spears impressions and performing in Vegas. He looks more like Britney than Britney, but outta drag, he’s also cute.

Here are a few phrases you will more than likely never hear me say ... and I will come up with some more:

"Yeah, I'm a gamer."

“Did you get my text?”

"I'm a Republican." 

I’m old school.

Florida’s Sun Sentinel newspaper’s Editorial Board has come out with their endorsement of a GOP candidate for president and it’s a doozy:

None Of The Above.

Yup; the will not endorse Donald Trump because they think he’ll compromise and work with Democrats, and not because he’s a bigoted homophobic misogynistic windbag.

Marco Rubio doesn’t get the nod because he has zero experience having “done little but run for office. Then, when he gets in office, he doesn't go to work very much.”

Ted Cruz isn’t a favorite son because he will “make his decisions based on the Bible.” He is anti-establishment and anti-Washington, which is good because most folks in DC hate him.

And lastly, John Kasich, whom the Sun-Sentinel would endorse because he’s a solid conservative, but will not because he hasn’t got a chance of winning … though he might have stood a better chance if anyone endorsed him.

So they’ll stick with the GOP’s best hope: None Of The Above.

Recently actor Michael B. Jordan and director — Creed and Fruitvale Station — Ryan Coogler did a photo shoot for Vanity Fair and that picture up there is stirring up all sorts of talk on social media about the two men being gay and lovers.

Who cares if they are, or if they aren’t? Are we so homophobic that the mere idea of a man touching another man equals gay and lovers?

Michael B. Jordan put his hand on Ryan Coogler’s head. That’s it. In any other country besides Anerica no one would think twice about it.

Get over it, people.