I Didn't Say It ...

Cardinal Timothy Dolan, on Meet the Press, about the Pope's statements this week that seemed to suggest the Catholic Church might support civil unions:

“He didn't come right out and say he was for them. Once again in an extraordinarily open, sincere, nuanced way, he said 'I know that some people in some states have chosen this. We need to think about that and look in look into it and see the reasons that have driven them.' It wasn't as if he came right out and approved them. But in a sensitivity that has won the heart of the world, he said, 'Rather than quickly condemn them, let's see. Let's just ask the questions as to why that has appealed to certain people."

I actually agree with Dolan, and I threw up a little in my mouth realizing that, but Pope Franky isn’t LGBT-friendly, y’all.

He’s simply realizing the Catholic Church is waaaay out of touch and he’s dipping his Prada-covered toe into the waters to test them.

Rachel Maddow, on her documentary Why We Did It, which delves into the reasons for the war in Iraq:

"I think that there is a desire to hear the truth told. Honestly, there are two million Iraq war veterans in this country and there are four thousand families who lost somebody. And when you think about that, when you look at Wounded Warriors and the people that are carrying this for the rest of their lives...I think even the people who were part of it in some ways want to see those people hear the truth, and it has never been explained."

And I wonder if it ever will.

Oliver North, gasbag criminal, speaking at CPAC:

"Some say that we must ignore social issues, like the definition of marriage and the sanctity of life, religious freedoms. I say those are not social issues. They are deeply moral and spiritual issues and they should be a part of America's elections. In the 1850's, a political party was born on the idea of a great moral issue - human bondage, the abolition of slavery in America. If we as conservatives cease to be a place where people of faith and those who believe in strong moral values can come, we will cease to be a political force in America.”

There’s so much to think and say about the disgrace known as Oliver North, but all I can see is that he says “deeply moral and spiritual issues … should be part of America’s elections.”

No, religion should not play a part in elections.

Separation of Church and State. We are a country of man-made laws not God’s laws. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have a Constitution and a Bill of Rights; we’d just have a Bible.

Paul Ryan, asshat, liar, failed Vice Presidential candidate, and droopy, dog-eyed dick, telling more stories that aren’t true:

"The left is making a big mistake here. What they’re offering people is a full stomach and an empty soul. The American people want more than that. This reminds me of a story I heard from Eloise Anderson. She serves in the cabinet of my buddy, Governor Scott Walker. She once met a young boy from a very poor family, and every day at school, he would get a free lunch from a government program. He told Eloise he didn’t want a free lunch. He wanted his own lunch, one in a brown-paper bag just like the other kids. He wanted one, he said, because he knew a kid with a brown-paper bag had someone who cared for him. This is what the left does not understand."

He says he got the story from Eloise Anderson, the secretary for children and families for the state of Wisconsin.

And then he says, of course, after he told his fable at CPAC, that he'd just learned that Secretary Anderson misspoke, and that "the story she told was improperly sourced."

First off, one cannot misspeak an entire story. You can misspeak about certain facts as part of a story, but when the whole story is blatantly, provably wrong, then what you’ve just done is lied, Paul.

You’re a liar, Paul Ryan, plain and simple.

Cardinal Timothy Dolan, again, on Meet the Press, when asked if civil unions make him personally uncomfortable:

"The civil unions? It would. It would in a way, David, because I don't think, um, marriage between one man and one woman forever, leading to life and love. That's not something that is just a sacramental religious concern. You bet it is that. And that's how God is elevated into making a sacrament. But it's also the building block of society and culture. So it belongs to culture. And if we water down that sacred meaning of marriage in any way I worry that not only the church would suffer, I worry that culture and society would."

It’s funny that Dolan doesn’t see how marriage has changed even over the last century.

Just a few short decades ago, it would have been unthinkable for a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic; a Jew to marry and non-Jew; and even closer to home, it was just in the 1960s that interracial marriages became legal.

Marriage has changed Dolan, and society has not crumbled.

Put away the hate.

Ralph Reed, former Christian Coalition leader, speaking at on the GOP’s ill-fated and long-running federal marriage amendment:

"Even if you passed a federal marriage amendment, I would assume it would grandfather in anyone who's been married, so I don't know. It was always a very difficult option. I don't think we ever got 50 votes in the U.S. Senate for that amendment. So, we always knew that the amendment was going to be very difficult to pass."

Too bad that many in the GOP still don’t get that and still come out against same-sex marriage.

They need to goose-step faster if they wanna keep up with the changing times.

Tilda Swinton, on The Gays and the closet:

"Well, I think there’s something that gay people have. It is true that to pass through the transitions that gay people have to in order to come out to themselves, to their families when they’re quite young, it’s a grow-bag, isn’t it? And I think that very often, heterosexual people miss out on that. There’s a feeling of development and sometimes, heterosexual people have never had to go through that self-examination and just knowing themselves, and that sense of coming out, coming to your own defense, and being your own best advocate, and going, “No! I’m going to stand by myself and say this is who I am and you can all fuck off.” That is a wonderful transition to go through, and I suppose a lot of straight people miss out on that, and then maybe their relationship choices are potentially less examined. They could be lazier or less thoroughly thought-through."

I love that because I believe we all have “closets” we need to come out of and there not just gay closets, but they’re closets of fear and shame and self-loathing about something.

And whenever someone comes out of that closet, it’s a great thing.

Kevin Swanson, Colorado “pastor”, AKA Pastor Jazz Hands, believing that Disney’s newest animated film Frozen is an attempt to convert children to being gay:

“Man, how many children are taken into these things and how many Christians are taking their kids off to see the movie Frozen, produced by an organization that is probably one of the most pro-homosexual organizations in the country? You wonder sometimes, I’m not a tinfoil hat conspiratorialist, but you wonder sometimes if maybe there’s something very evil happening here. If I was the Devil, what would I do to really foul up an entire social system and do something really, really, really evil to 5- and 6- and 7-year-olds in Christian families around America?”

Gosh, the most sane thing he said in that whole paragraph is ‘, I’m not a tinfoil hat conspiratorialist’.

And if that’s the most sane thing he said, well …..