There's a woman I know, who got into a drunken brawl with her boyfriend....bruised, bloodied, chunks of hair pulled out. This isn't the first time. And it won't be the last. The next night she was buying him dinner. I wonder if her motto is, Hit me and get a free meal?
And I wonder why.
Why put up with this kind of behavior, whether she instigates or he instigates?
What is it about people that seem to want this kind of abuse--not deserve it, because no one deserves it--who thrive on it, it seems. She had no shame for the fight; she calmly asked, Did you hear what happened?
I don't get violence, between adults. Between kids, especially young siblings, it seems almost normal to punch each other as a reaction, or disagreement. But when we leave our childhood, why do some of us carry this trait with us?
I've been furious with people in my life--after all I'm a hot-headed Italian woman--okay, I'm none of those things, but I have been furious at people. And I have never once wanted to hit someone. Even people who say the most idiotic, hateful things, I don't consider hitting as a response.
I've been mad as hell at Carlos and never once, steaming with anger, have I thought to strike him. Never. it isn't in me.
So, why is it in others?
Have they not learned to settle a dispute any other way. Use your words people.
Have they such low self esteem that a fist is somehow deserved. Lift yourselves up.
I hear the excuse. We were drunk.
Then stop drinking if it turns violent.
I hear the excuse. You made me so mad.
Then learn to stop.and.think.for.one.minute.
I hear the excuse. She started it it. He started it.
Then learn to be the bigger person the better person.
You have kids, for Christ's sake. Is that the lesson you want them to learn, because your kids learn everything by watching you.,