Saturday, March 15, 2025

Why Is It ...

… that while some best friends get matching tattoos, my best friend and I have matching mental issues.

… that I have the ability to mulitask; I can lose my mind and chill at the same time.

… that I had to learn about parallelograms in high school instead of how to do my taxes. That information is only useful during Parallelogram Season.

… that even though I keep saying “it is what it is,” I need to know: what is it?

… that kids today are so soft. I remember I died once when I was seven and my mom told me to walk it off.

… that anytime I am suspicious of something I swear I am almost always right.

… that every so often I choose to wear a House Arrest Ankle bracelet as an excuse not to go out at night.

… that I never did a One Night Stand, but I did do a One Year of Wasting My F*cking time.

… that I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus it's fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

33 comments:

  1. Thanks for the morning laugh, we all needed that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just mailed off twenty #IdesofTheFelon postcards so I am having a fun Saturday!

      Delete
  2. That laundromat bit? It doesn't surprise me at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Warm drawers for your junk is a win-win.

      Delete
  3. Too many to choose a favourite - thank you for the giggles!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do love a good laugh, too!

      Delete
  4. The last one about knocked me off my chair. You're too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oooooo, that House Arrest Ankle Bracelet is a good dodge!

    ReplyDelete
  6. That last one is the kicker! I am still trying to figure out just what it is that is!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I cannot help myself, but when someone says to me, "It is what it is," I say, "What the %&$# does that even mean?"

      Delete
  7. Cleora Borealis11:17 AM

    🤯 Bob, why ya gotta get me a little riled so early on a Saturday morning? "It is what it is." Well, duh, I guess; what else could it be? But, I'm an old (OLD) communications professor and such phrases are the lengthy equivalents of "um, er, ya know." If you have no actual point, other than a trite phrase that is without meaning, better to keep silent. I'm a fan of true crime TV, but there are phrases used that send me into spasms! The worst for me is, "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time." Really? "She" needed something from the store down the block and was walking in that direction...OMG! why did she do that?! [sigh; deep breath 🧘‍♀️] So, Bob, any chance you could do a tutorial on that whole "lose my mind and chill at the same time" thing? I need it. I can pay. 😃

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So many stupid people saying stupid shiz and so little time for me to thump all their melons.

      Delete
    2. Is there ever a "right time" to be in the wrong place?

      Delete
  8. Anonymous12:05 PM

    the dog's mother
    Parallelogram Season!
    xoxo :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My least favorite season!
      xoxo

      Delete
  9. I love all these but I actually did laugh out loud at the last one. Thanks for that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And that one seems the most true????

      Delete
  10. Like MwM above, I also guffawed at the last one. Unexpected twist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Especially for the other people at the laundromat!

      Delete
  11. Hand me a paper towel! That last one maybe me spray my drink!!!!! Why is it aside, I did one time take off my underwear once in a laundromat to add to the wash last minute. I have no idea if there were cameras are not.

    The youth in very soft these days, I agree.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I KNEW someone had done the underwear bit!!

      Delete
  12. Oh, that last one gave me my best belly laugh of the day -- thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do know the joy of fresh from the dryer undies, but their mine because I'm in my own home when I do it!

      Delete
  13. Ha! Love the last one.
    For the record, kids today ARE soft.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poor soft little babies will never know the real joy of childhood.

      Delete
  14. Rebekah sent me a funny meme about having the mental health issues as your bestie. She and I actually do have the same issues, except I think she's much worse than I am! When I was in first grade and told Mother I was sick, she said, "You just don't want to go to school tomorrow." At midnight that night, I needed exploratory surgery and had an appendectomy. I guess that taught her a lesson. No, it didn't.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a similar situation as a kid in 7th grade.

      Friday I said I was sick and Mom sent me to bed for the day. Amazingly I was better by the time school wa out and fine all weeknd, but Monday morning I was deathly ill and afraid to say anything.

      As I was walking out the door I started crying because I felt so sick and my Mom sent me to my room and said there was no getting out of there at all. Then she took mu temperature and it was 104 and I was rushed to the hospital with pneumonia!

      Karma bit me in the ass, I say.
      xoxo

      Delete
  15. Let me guess, your best friend is that other voice in your head - right?

    Will Jay

    ReplyDelete
  16. I can't relate to any of these today but they're still funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's probably a good thing.

      Delete

Say anything, but keep it civil .......