… that while some best
friends get matching tattoos, my best friend and I have matching mental issues.
… that I have the ability to
mulitask; I can lose my mind and chill at the same time.
… that I had to learn about
parallelograms in high school instead of how to do my taxes. That information
is only useful during Parallelogram Season.
… that even though I keep
saying “it is what it is,” I need to know: what is it?
… that kids today are so soft. I remember I died once when I
was seven and my mom told me to walk it off.
… that anytime I am
suspicious of something I swear I am almost always right.
… that every so often I choose to wear a House Arrest Ankle
bracelet as an excuse not to go out at night.
… that I never did a One
Night Stand, but I did do a One Year of Wasting My F*cking time.
… that I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the
dryer. Plus it's fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong
to. |
Thanks for the morning laugh, we all needed that.
ReplyDeleteI just mailed off twenty #IdesofTheFelon postcards so I am having a fun Saturday!
DeleteThat laundromat bit? It doesn't surprise me at all.
ReplyDeleteWarm drawers for your junk is a win-win.
DeleteToo many to choose a favourite - thank you for the giggles!
ReplyDeleteI do love a good laugh, too!
DeleteThe last one about knocked me off my chair. You're too funny!
ReplyDeleteI give it a try!
DeleteOooooo, that House Arrest Ankle Bracelet is a good dodge!
ReplyDeleteIt's the best excuse ever!
DeleteThat last one is the kicker! I am still trying to figure out just what it is that is!
ReplyDeleteI cannot help myself, but when someone says to me, "It is what it is," I say, "What the %&$# does that even mean?"
Delete🤯 Bob, why ya gotta get me a little riled so early on a Saturday morning? "It is what it is." Well, duh, I guess; what else could it be? But, I'm an old (OLD) communications professor and such phrases are the lengthy equivalents of "um, er, ya know." If you have no actual point, other than a trite phrase that is without meaning, better to keep silent. I'm a fan of true crime TV, but there are phrases used that send me into spasms! The worst for me is, "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time." Really? "She" needed something from the store down the block and was walking in that direction...OMG! why did she do that?! [sigh; deep breath 🧘♀️] So, Bob, any chance you could do a tutorial on that whole "lose my mind and chill at the same time" thing? I need it. I can pay. 😃
ReplyDeleteSo many stupid people saying stupid shiz and so little time for me to thump all their melons.
DeleteIs there ever a "right time" to be in the wrong place?
Deletethe dog's mother
ReplyDeleteParallelogram Season!
xoxo :-)
My least favorite season!
Deletexoxo
I love all these but I actually did laugh out loud at the last one. Thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteAnd that one seems the most true????
DeleteLike MwM above, I also guffawed at the last one. Unexpected twist.
ReplyDeleteEspecially for the other people at the laundromat!
DeleteHand me a paper towel! That last one maybe me spray my drink!!!!! Why is it aside, I did one time take off my underwear once in a laundromat to add to the wash last minute. I have no idea if there were cameras are not.
ReplyDeleteThe youth in very soft these days, I agree.
I KNEW someone had done the underwear bit!!
DeleteOh, that last one gave me my best belly laugh of the day -- thanks!
ReplyDeleteI do know the joy of fresh from the dryer undies, but their mine because I'm in my own home when I do it!
DeleteHa! Love the last one.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, kids today ARE soft.
Poor soft little babies will never know the real joy of childhood.
DeleteRebekah sent me a funny meme about having the mental health issues as your bestie. She and I actually do have the same issues, except I think she's much worse than I am! When I was in first grade and told Mother I was sick, she said, "You just don't want to go to school tomorrow." At midnight that night, I needed exploratory surgery and had an appendectomy. I guess that taught her a lesson. No, it didn't.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I had a similar situation as a kid in 7th grade.
DeleteFriday I said I was sick and Mom sent me to bed for the day. Amazingly I was better by the time school wa out and fine all weeknd, but Monday morning I was deathly ill and afraid to say anything.
As I was walking out the door I started crying because I felt so sick and my Mom sent me to my room and said there was no getting out of there at all. Then she took mu temperature and it was 104 and I was rushed to the hospital with pneumonia!
Karma bit me in the ass, I say.
xoxo
Let me guess, your best friend is that other voice in your head - right?
ReplyDeleteWill Jay
You've met???
DeleteI can't relate to any of these today but they're still funny.
ReplyDeleteThat's probably a good thing.
Delete