Why Is It ...

… that no one understands I suffer from a  disorder where I speak the truth and it pisses people off?

… that I consider it a successful work day if I can get through it without saying the word ‘fuck’? Oh, and I rarely have successful work days … just sayin’.

… that now that my Winter Fat has gone away, I’ve discovered I have Spring Rolls.

… that I don’t care about “giving my all,” but would rather do about 60% and still have time for my shows?

… that I often think of myself as Tsar Chasm?

… that, for me, eye rolls are my cardio.

… that some days I amaze myself and other days I put my keys in the fridge.

… that no one will allow me to normalize booing in the workplace?

… that I love water … frozen into cubes … blended with tequila.