Bobservations

This is Carlos’ Birthday weekend … he’d requested a week and I put the kibosh on that because ... who has the time?  I’ve got some stuff planned for him to celebrate his 85^th, 65^th, er 55^th … oh whatever the hell birthday it is … and when I told him I had a five-day weekend to celebrate his birthday, he actually said to me:

“I don’t care about my birthday.”

I.Dropped.Dead.

This is from March 2009, and some of my favorite pictures of our boys, MaxGoldberg and Tuxedo:

“MaxGoldberg and Tuxedo love each other—Carlos suggests they might be homosexuals … not that there’s anything wrong with that—and love to play and eat together, and, well, snuggle up together.

They do not, however, like photographic evidence of their snuggling.”

Oy, those two punims have me verklempt.

Tanner Cook is a 21-year-old who does stupid things on social media for attention and clicks and likes. And in his quest to become the next Social Media Moron™, he and his band of merry idiots pull pranks on unsuspecting citizens. Tanner harasses people, fake pukes on people, and all in the name of fun until he chose to prank one Alan W. Colie who was not having it so he pulled out a gun and shot Tanner.

Oh, Tanner will live, and is thrilled by how many hits the video of him getting shot received and so he’s up for more.

I wonder how he’ll die?

So Trump's lawyers begged and pleaded with the judge to make sure he wouldn't have to have a mugshot taken. Then today they sent out a fundraising letter asking MAGAts to buy that t-shirt with this fake mugshot on it for $50 bucks a pop. Yes, a former President is capitalizing on his arrest—let that sink in … they’re using his arrest for paying off a porn star to keep her quiet about their affair to raise money.

Of note, the fake mugshot shows his height to be 6’5” tall when we all know he’s only 6’5” when he’s laying down and you’re measuring his golf gut.

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better, and so the boy drops his pants and says:

“Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!”

The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back to the boy with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says:

“My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

To be fair, a little boy who feels a certain way can get as many of “those” as he wants, too.

I’m guessing here, but was Melanie getting her hair done on Tuesday? Or seeing her own lawyer? Making an appointment for a new post-divorce face? Or maybe she couldn’t find her ‘I don’t Care, Do U?’ jacket?

Marjorie “Large Marge” Taylor Greene raced to New York for the arraignment—because she heard there were cameras there—and puked up some nonsense comparing Thing 45 to Nelson Mandela and Jesus Christ on Arraignment Day.

My question: what were the names of the porn stars Mandela and Jesus paid off?

Sidenote: Though she showed up at what she thought was going to be a fun rally supporting her Traitor Savior, Marge was run off by a crowd of New Yorkers calling her every name under the sun.

Even though we couldn’t get a mug shot of Thing 45, but we did get a copy of his wee little fingerprints.

Ethan Bodine is a model tall enough at 6’2 that I can look him dead in the eye, but this isn’t about me; it’s another episode of Would You Hit It?