I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Virginia Roberts Giuffre, who has accused Prince Andrew of sexual abuse of a minor, has apparently written a book proposal titled The Billionaire’s Playboy Club in which she writes about ALLEGEDLY being brought into Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking ring by Ghislaine Maxwell. Virginia has also ALLEGED that she was trafficked to Prince Andrew—a claim he denies—many, many times, and in her book proposal shares a particularly creepy tale.

Virginia claims that around Easter in 2001—when she was seventeen—Ghislaine called her to Epstein’s Manhattan townhouse. When she arrived Prince Andrew was present, and Ghislaine ALLEGEDLY plopped Virginia down on the Royal Lap, at which point Andrew pulled out his … puppet, a likeness of himself, from the 1980’s British satirical puppet show Spitting Image. Virginia writes:

“Andrew cupped my breast with a doll made in his image, I only giggled away. Ghislaine wanted to take a picture of the bizarre scene and even got Johanna [Sjoberg], another one of Jeffrey’s so-called personal assistants to come sit on his other knee for the snapshot.”

In a 2016 deposition as part of Giuffre’s since-settled defamation lawsuit against Maxwell, Sjoberg testified that she “sat on Andrew’s lap … they took the puppet’s hands and put it on Virginia’s breast, and so Andrew put his [hand] on mine.”

Virginia says that after Andrew was done joking around with his mini-me, they ALLEGEDLY headed down to the massage room.

Prince Andrew hasn’t responded to Virginia’s puppet allegation but may be trying to locate the puppet and have it arrested for groping since, it seems, it was the puppet who grabbed Virginia’s breast.

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Victoria and David Beckham have gone country, y’all, and the locals are none too happy. The Beckhams traded in Beverly Hills for the Cotswolds in England and seem to be on the verge of becoming the UK version of Green Acres! Except for, in this reboot, the neighbors don’t like them!

The Beckhams have been quarantining at their $7.83 million country home, about two hours outside of London, that has been officially designated an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty [AONB]. But then the Beckhams decided to renovate the nine-bedroom “cottage” to include an underground tunnel to a wine cellar and then another underground tunnel to a “super” garage. They have also installed a “privacy” hill, a sauna, a jetty and began digging a large swimmable pond.

And one local resident, Michael Douglas—not that Michael Douglas—have gone too far:

“What they appear to want is to bring suburbia into the countryside, if they had wanted all they have applied for why not find an estate which was big enough to accommodate all of this.”

Other locals are cringing at how tacky the Beckham’s property has become, calling it monstrous and saying the tunnels and ponds and man-made “privacy” hills could have an impact on the water table, which is a big issue.

The Beckhams 300-foot-wide swimmin’ hole  could affect a local critter called the Great Crested Newt. Neighbors says that any fish the Beckham’s dump into their pond might eat the newt’s larva, which means no more newts. In addition, the Beckhams want to light up the pool, er, pond, er poolond, even though local regulations prevent the use of spotlights because the light confuses local bats. The locals also want the Beckhams to dig holes under the pond, for hedgehogs, which are native to the area.

But the Beckhams clearly hate newts and bats and hedgehogs. Oh my.

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We don’t hear much about Heather Locklear unless she’s drunk and out of control and assaulting police officers or her boyfriend, so this is a nice surprise.

Heather claims to have had a “gross” encounter with actor James Naughton in 1996 while filming :

“There was a couple of scenes that they [cut me out of] and then the only scene [I ended up in] had no lines. And one of the actors [Naughton, who played her husband], we were at a funeral, and he was supposed to take his hand and touch my breast. [But] he actually touched more … Gross. So, I [told the producers], ‘Can you just take my name off the credits since now I don’t have any lines?’ So, it was creditless.”

Locklear says that Naughton, instead of grabbing her breast, actually outlined her areola with his finger:

“I was like [gasps] and I’m so glad they’re following his hand down [with the camera] because my face, my mouth is fallen open and I can’t believe it and don’t do it again. One take and let’s go.”

Naughton  has refuted Locklear’s claim, saying that he was indeed following the script; his spokesman said:

“James remembers shooting this scene as written in the script. He completely understands that Heather would have felt uncomfortable shooting this scene, as he felt uncomfortable as well.”

The spokesman then issues a page from the film’s script, dated December 9, 1995, which stated:

“Despite the grave facade, we see that Gil is subtly using his finger to feel Mary’s breast. Mary smiles at him shyly.”

Huh; maybe Heather didn’t read any of the script other than her lines?

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Ellen DeGeneres has had an awful summer; she has been called out of touch with the difficulties of the pandemic—whining about being stuck in one of her many mansions—and was dubbed a monster boss by employees—though, to be fair, it might just be the employees Ellen stopped paying after Covid struck. In addition, show is getting the internal investigation treatment for how toxic it ALLEGEDLY is behind the scenes while Ellen is all giggles and smiles and dance moves in front of the camera.

And now this … Australian radio host Neil Breen is sharing his Ellen story about her visit to Australia’s Today Show. It had been planned that Ellen would appear on the show and engage in a multitude of on-air tasks, but after a series of changes it would be just an appearance and interview by Australian journalist Richard Wilkins. After traveling to Melbourne at their own expense to conduct the interview, Neil and his team learned quickly that it wasn’t going to be an enjoyable experience. During a segment of his radio show 4BC Breakfast with Neil Breen he stated.

“Because it’s the Ellen show, they controlled everything. They controlled the interview seats, the lights, how it would work, everything. The producers called us aside and said, ‘This is how it’s going to work here this morning. Ellen’s going to arrive at 10:15, and she’ll be sitting in this chair. And Richard, you’ll be sitting in this chair here. Neil, no one’s to talk to Ellen. You don’t talk to her, you don’t approach her, you don’t look at her. She’ll come in, she’ll sit down, she’ll talk to Richard, then Ellen will leave.’”

Neil Breen does admit that it was mainly Ellen’s team making the demands and not Ellen herself, but:

“I didn’t get to talk to her. I wasn’t allowed to. I don’t know if she’s a nice person or not. I wouldn’t have a clue. But I can tell you, the people who worked with her walked on eggshells the whole time.”

And Ellen’s Summer Turned Fall From Grace continues … she has issued a faux-pology where she seems to blame her staff for people thinking she’s a tyrant … some celebrities, like actor-comedian Brad Garrett, are suggesting that the stories of Ellen’s giant ego are true … and there’s that whole investigation into sexual misconduct by some of her producers.

Ain’t too much dancing, eh, Ellen?

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