In Case You Didn't Already Know: Don't Masturbate at IKEA

Apparently an IKEA store in China has had to increase security after surveillance footage revealed a woman masturbating in the store.

Seriously? At IKEA?

The video shows a woman strolling around an IKEA store and stopping in random spots tp give herself, not a five-finger discount, but a five-finger pleasure boost. And when IKEA caught wind of the in-store pussy-grabbing, they chose to act.

Oh, they didn’t find the Pleasuring Client, but did release a statement:

“We resolutely oppose and condemn this kind of behavior, and immediately reported it to the police in the city of the suspected store.”

They also said they will take “even more careful security and public cleanliness measures” and asked that customers “browse stores in an orderly and civilized way.” 

IKEA also warned non-masturbating clients to perhaps steer clear of the As-Is section until the DNA test results come back. Who know IKEA furnishings would give a customer lady wood?

Just sayin’.