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Apparently an IKEA store in China has had to increase security after surveillance footage revealed a woman masturbating in the store.
Seriously? At IKEA?
The video shows a woman strolling around an IKEA store and stopping in random spots tp give herself, not a five-finger discount, but a five-finger pleasure boost. And when IKEA caught wind of the in-store pussy-grabbing, they chose to act.
Oh, they didn’t find the Pleasuring Client, but did release a statement:
“We resolutely oppose and condemn this kind of behavior, and immediately reported it to the police in the city of the suspected store.”
They also said they will take “even more careful security and public cleanliness measures” and asked that customers “browse stores in an orderly and civilized way.”
IKEA also warned non-masturbating clients to perhaps steer clear of the As-Is section until the DNA test results come back. Who know IKEA furnishings would give a customer lady wood?
Just sayin’.
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Monday, May 18, 2020
In Case You Didn't Already Know: Don't Masturbate at IKEA
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omfb! say this ain't so! are people that desperate for a thrill these days? she could not wait til she got home?
ReplyDeleteI never got into or understood Ikea...but I knew it made some hot. And the meatballs may never taste the same again.
ReplyDeleteOk. So one, IKEA is open in China?
ReplyDeleteTwo, I like IKEA but really!
XoXo
IKEA? Cheap thrills! I prefer to go to La-Z-Boy for all of my masturbatory needs :)
ReplyDeleteeeeeek! ak! omgoodness!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't tell me what not to do!
ReplyDeleteIt's performance art!
ReplyDeleteI have been to China that country is so tight I would be surprised if they didn't identify her through facial recognition by the end of the week.
ReplyDelete@AM
ReplyDeleteTis true.
@MM
Luckily I've only been once and never ate anything!
@Six
I guess she REALLY REALLY liked IKEA!
@Deedles
TMI ...but thanks for the giggles!
@TDM
And yet you still haven't heard everything.
@Prof
Masturbation is my right!!
@Debra
I'll leave at intermission.
@Bath
I imagine somebody who saw something will finger her.
So, she was a little crotchety eh?
ReplyDeleteDoesn't IKEA have toilets for this sort of thing? - or even changing rooms for this sort of thing? However, you might conclude (correctly) that I've never been in an IKEA store - for this or for ANY sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteSomeone obviously not quite all there does something inappropriate and they need to make an official statement?!? Cripes.
ReplyDeleteWell there is the kitchen department to set my fantasies running wild, and lighting, but not that kind of fantasies.
ReplyDeleteCould not read this...TMI
ReplyDelete"I am sure someone who saw her will finger her" lol that is what she wants :)
ReplyDeleteObviously the poor woman must be mentally ill, everyone knows Bed Bath and Beyond is the best place to masturbate.
ReplyDelete