I Didn't Say It ...

Seth Meyers, on _____’s plan to outsmart Democratic House members—“I think I know more than they know.”—who have promised to investigate him once they take the majority:

“No, no you don’t. _____’s like a Gotham City gangster who thinks he can outsmart Batman — and ends up dangling from a gargoyle. Grifters always think they can outsmart everyone else. And that’s what _____ is. A grifter who surrounds himself with other grifters. Right now, as we speak, _____ is being sued in Federal court for defrauding investors. He just appointed an acting attorney general who advised a firm accused of scamming customers and his candidate for Senate in Florida, the state’s governor, was involved in one of the largest Medicaid frauds in American history.”

I’d love to see him dangling from a gargoyle.

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Emmanuel Macron, French president, taking a shot at _____ over his comments that he’s a “nationalist”:

“Patriotism is the exact opposite of nationalism. Nationalism is a betrayal of patriotism. By putting our own interests first, with no regard for others, we erase the very thing that a nation holds dearest, and the thing that keeps it alive: its moral values.”

Bu you’re talking of _____ and we all know he has no morals.

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Justin Trudeau, Canadian Prime Minister, also taking a dig at _____ for not wanting to het his rug wet:

"As we sit here in the rain, thinking how uncomfortable we must be these minutes as our suits get wet and our hair gets wet and our shoes get wet, I think it's all the more fitting that we remember on that day, in Dieppe, the rain wasn't rain, it was bullets."

_____ wouldn’t know from bullets, either, since he claimed to have bad feet and so he couldn’t go to war, but could play football.

Still, good on Prime Minister McCutie for the shade.

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_____, on his choice of Matthew Whitaker to replace Jeff Sessions:

“I don’t know Matt Whitaker. Matt Whitaker worked for Jeff Sessions, and he was always extremely highly thought of, and he still is. But I didn’t know Matt Whitaker. He worked for Attorney General Sessions.”

First off, it should concern the entire country that _____ appointed a man as acting attorney general that he claims he doesn’t even know. I mean, why not appoint me, then?

Plus, as we know that was a Big Fat Lie from a Big Fat Liar; on Fox & Friends in October, _____said:

“I can tell you Matt Whitaker is a great guy. I know Matt Whitaker.”

For goddess’ sake, Seriously, the man is a nutjob.

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Susan Orfanos, whose son, Telemachus, was murdered in that bar shooting last week, had survived the Las Vegas mass shooting last year:

“My son was in Las Vegas with a lot of his friends and he came home. He didn’t come home last night, and I don’t want prayers. I don’t want thoughts. I want gun control, and I hope to God nobody sends me any more prayers. I want gun control. No more guns.”

Seriously, will someone please listen.

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Kirsten Gillibrand, on _____’s appointment of Matthew Whitaker as acting attorney general:

“Because he’s such a senior position, you need advice and consent of the Senate…There was a succession plan. It should have been Rosenstein. They not only disregarded that, but then put someone in place who has not had hearings and approval by the Senate…He should recuse himself [from the Mueller probe] … He’s a lackey of the president.”

You say lackey, I say lap dog.

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Jimmy Kimmel, saying White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckleberry Sanders should be fired for sharing a doctored video of CNN’s Jim Acosta “assaulting” an intern:

“That’s where the Hucka-B.S. machine comes in. Jim Acosta clearly never touched that White House intern. That’s just a lie. And I think this also might be the first time I’ve seen Sarah Sanders take the woman’s side on any subject ever. So good for her, baby steps. But she should be forced to resign for that. I mean, she intentionally disseminated doctored video footage to discredit a reputable journalist. She’s the White House press secretary! She should be fired for that. She should be fired…Sarah Huckabee Sanders should be fired and sent to live at a Joann’s Fabric Store for all the rest of her days.”

I’m just happy that one day, when all the leis are exposed and proven to be actual lies, that Huckleberry will have to explain to her children why she goose-stepped along with a racist misogynist pig.

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Michelle Obama, in her book, Becoming Michelle, on _____’s birther comments:

“The whole [birther] thing was crazy and mean-spirited, of course, its underlying bigotry and xenophobia hardly concealed. But it was also dangerous, deliberately meant to stir up the wingnuts and kooks. What if someone with an unstable mind loaded a gun and drove to Washington? What if that person went looking for our girls? Donald _____, with his loud and reckless innuendos, was putting my family’s safety at risk. And for this I’d never forgive him.”

Nor will I.

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