Thursday, November 29, 2018

Bobservations


You’d think after eighteen years together, I’d be able to understand Carlos; not so much. This is an actual conversation:

Carlos: “I remember when I was a kid and my mother wanted to take me to the boat show. She told my father he was taking us on Saturday, which was the night my father always saw his mistress, so he wasn’t happy. And he wasn’t happy wearing a suit and tie—”

Bob: “A suit and tie? At a boat show?”

Carlos: “Yes. And he really didn’t want to see the dancers at the boat show.”

Bob: “Dancers? What the hell kinda boat show is that?”

Carlos: “What boat show.”
Bob: “You said your mother wanted to take you to the boat show.”

Carlos: “Not the ‘boat show,’ the Bolshoi! The ballet.”

Bob: “Oy.”

Boat show, Bolshoi. Po-tay-to, Patata.
Sorry, not sorry.

‘Rider University, a private university in central New Jersey, asked students last spring which fast food franchise they would like to see on campus. The results showed a preference for Chick-fil-A, so in the fall, when the final survey was taken, the university removed the restaurant as an option because Chick-fil-A is “widely perceived to be in opposition to the LGBTQ+ community.”’

Yassssss.
In other great news, the NRA saw its income dip by $55 million last year, after a record-breaking 2016.

Again, sorry, not sorry,
Just to prove gays can be asshats just like straight folk, I give you Bill White and his husband, Bryan Eure. The two were former Clinton supporters who turned tail and ran to the _____ rally on election night when it was clear Hillary was losing. White says:

“I didn’t want to be part of that misery pie; I’m not a wallower in self-pity. I really believe that once that decision is made, you have to get behind your president.”’

The couple has other reasons for justifying their allegiance to _____; they got all kinds of pissy when Chelsea Clinton didn’t recognize them at Ralph Lauren’s Polo Bar in Midtown Manhattan but say Donnie Junior always takes their calls.

Seriously. These two can f**k off.
We haven’t had any snow yet this year in Smallville, but when we do, I’ll know how to measure it.

Just sayin’.
Iowa? Really?

Iowa is granting permits to allow people who are legally or completely blind to be able to buy or carry guns in public because state law does not allow sheriffs to deny an Iowan the right to carry a weapon based on physical ability.

Even better; while Iowa requires training for anyone who is issued a permit to carry a weapon in public, that requirement can be satisfied through an online course that does not include any hands-on instruction or a shooting test.

Seriously, Iowa?
It costs a lot to bed Melanie.

Apparently the bills for Melanie’s day trip—she did not stay the night—to Toronto last year cost the American people $174,000. Add that to the $95,000 it cost to get Melanie a room at the InterContinental Cairo Semiramis, where she stayed for less than half a day at the end of her tour of Africa last month and you can see she’s as bad as that husband of hers when it comes to spending our money.

Melanie’s spokes-tool implied that the “advance team” was responsible for some of the costs, BUT federal expense documents reported separate, additional costs for the advance team that added up to $18,000.

Melanie is a pampered little liar like her Fat Husband; just sayin’.
Your eyes aren’t deceiving you; this is an actual set of floating stairs in a private home. 

Gorgeous, but, yeah, a few glasses of wine later, I’d be falling down those stairs into the cellar and …wait, if it was a wine cellar?

Win win.
Take a good look at the photo. That is every single politician who voted to repeal Obamacare.

And every red X denotes a politician who was voted out of office in November.

See, voting matters.
An ISBL Public Service Announcement:

With the holiday season upon us, those red Salvation Army donation buckets are out again. And while I am only too happy to help when I can, I avoid giving to the Salvation Army because of their, voraciously denied by them, anti-LGBTQ stance.

For example: In 2008, trans woman Jennifer Gale was found dead outside a homeless shelter run by the Salvation Army. The reason she froze to death on the street? The Salvation Army refused to shelter her with the other women due to her genitalia.

In in 2016, the Salvation Army refused to back a Safe Schools initiative, which was meant to combat anti-LGBTI bullying.

Most recently, a gag order was put on Salvation Army employees forbidding them from talking about LGBTI issues.

So instead of donating money or old clothes to the Salvation Army this year, try one of these non-religious, pro-LGBTI charities.

Foundation Beyond Belief

The Ali Forney Center

The Sylvia Rivera Law Project

Housing Works

The Audre Lorde Project

TGI Justice

The Trevor Project

And thank you.
I am not usually attracted to the dirty blond, blue-eyed types, but then along came former football turned model Heath Hutchins and I became a convert. Heath dropped fifty pounds from his college football playing days to become a rather hot model with icy blue eyes.

A real dreamboat, I must say; and now I have another ‘type.’



14 comments:

Helen Lashbrook said...

I stopped giving to the SalvationArmy (not first choice for my money at any time) when the head of the GB outfit said that gays should be burnt to death - bring back the Inquisition's auto-da-fé?

Deedles said...

Lucy and Ricky live! You two are priceless.
I fell out of my chair just looking at those stairs!
I've always wondered, what is the difference between dirty blond and light brown? They look the same to me.
I'm ignoring the infuriating stuff :)

the dogs' mother said...

((Carlos))
The Stairs!!!!

anne marie in philly said...

ay yi yi, carlos!

just say NO to those stairs! and to all the asshats that support the dump & h8 teh gays!

jsstrand said...

i stopped Salvation Army donation some 35 years ago here in San Antonio when the local Salvation refused a very very generous Christmas donation because it had been collected at a local gay bar and Salvation said therefore the money was "tainted" - to this day i never pass up an opportunity to let any santa bellringers with there kettles in front of stores to let them know exactly why they dont get anything from me -

jsstrand said...

i stopped Salvation Army donation some 35 years ago here in San Antonio when the local Salvation refused a very very generous Christmas donation because it had been collected at a local gay bar and Salvation said therefore the money was "tainted" - to this day i never pass up an opportunity to let any santa bellringers with there kettles in front of stores to let them know exactly why they dont get anything from me -

Dave R said...

Yeah, I'd heard that about the NRA... so well deserved.

White and Eure don't really care about anybody but themselves.

X marks the spot... of failure.

The Salvation Army has always been a crazy Christian organization.

Heath is Hot.

mistress maddie said...

Good gods Bob...no wonder you drink like me. And I have long enjoyed Health much more then the candy bar......

Bob Slatten said...

@jsstrand
Good on you; we all need to spread the word about the Salvation-less Army.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I've stolen that Tweet of the Week. It says it all.

Bob Slatten said...

@Debra
It was a no-brainer to pick that one this week!

AlexandriaVic said...

Love me some Carlos stories...I would love to sit next to him at a cocktail party...Merry Christmas...Thanks for your efforts on our behalf...It is appreciated...

Bob Slatten said...

@AlexandriaVic
He is rather delicious.

Mitchell is Moving said...

I want to go to the Boat Show with Carlos!!!