Saturday, September 30, 2017

It's Snarkurday!

It’s like an itch you can’t stop scratching ... Usher’s herpes lawsuits, that is.

The first ... first ... accuser, suing for $20 million, has now revealed herself: Laura Helm. And, Lisa Bloom, who is representing several ... several ... of Usher’s accusers, has filed more documents including one that details how one young man ended being infected by the singer when, he ALLEGES, that Usher exposed him to herpes when they f**ked at a Koreatown spa in L.A.

That ain’t no Happy Ending, y’all.

Now, Usher has called all of his accusers liars, but he will not say if he has the herpes and is refusing to take an STD test.

Take that for what it is, but until we know better, Just Say No, to Usher.
There are some "celebrities" who should never speak, Tweet, Instagram or Facebook because their view of the world needs to be kept silent.

Melissa Joan Hart. She recently whined all over Instagram about her family vacation being ruined because of Hurricane Maria.

Yup, the semi-rich, scarcely talented TV star, and her family were headed to the Nickelodeon Resort Punta Cana, but couldn’t go because a hurricane came along and washed away the homes and businesses and livelihoods of all kinds of people; so Melissa whined about missing her vacation on social media. She later removed her post once she realized the storm killed people, but this kind of delusion is nothing new for Hart ...

Back in 2015, she promoted her clothing line on the 14th anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks with the tagline:
“Free Shipping in honor of the victims, families & first responders of 9/11. Use the promo code ‘911’ during your online checkout at”
Yup, you may have lost your spouse, lover, son, daughter in the worst terror attack ever on American soil, but, hey, you get Free Shipping!

Seriously, bitch, take a seat.
This may be true, and it may not be, but ... twenty-year-old Kylie Jenner is ALLEGEDLY pregnant by her boyfriend of five months, twenty-five-year-old rapper Travis Scott.

That Woman has yet to confirm the pregnancy because they’re still trying to iron out the details of how Kylie will pee on a stick on TV ... break up with the Baby Daddy on TV ... get her first ultrasound on TV ... get back together with the Baby Daddy on TV ... give birth on TV ... break up with the Baby Daddy on TV ... get back together with the Baby Daddy on TV ... have DCF remove the child from her home on TV ... and then launch a new lipstick line.

No, seriously, that’s how it’ll play out. They’re Kardastrophes after all.

Oops. It got twice as skeevey because now Khloe is pregnant, too. That Woman will be working overtime whoring out two babies!
It’s almost a year later and folks are still talking about Mariah’s Carey’s Epic New Years Eve Fail, aka The Clusterf**k Heard Round The World.

To recap, Mimi tottered around a stage on impossibly high heels singing, ahem, live to a track that she didn’t to remember or even know. Mimi and her team later blamed Dick Clark Productions, and DCP placed the blame at the high heels of the diva who didn’t show up to rehearse.

Now, finally, Miss Ryan Seacrest is ready to dish; during an appearance on Watch What Happens Live! Seacrest insinuated that the fault was all Mimi because she refused to do a soundcheck:
“That crew, that team, that staff is the best in the business. They put on the biggest live music events and they know what they’re doing. I know how good they are at their jobs. My reaction was, ‘She was working with the best.’ I find it hard to believe they made big mistakes that bad.”
Seacrest, of course, knowing Mimi missed the soundcheck ... I think ... scurried several blocks away after introducing Carey and says he had no idea what was going on:
“When it was happening, it was hard for me to see and hear because we’re in Times Square and there was a lot going on. I had to be told that something was going on and then try to find a monitor to react to. So I wasn’t quite sure what was happening, actually.”
Really, Ryan? You’re working with the best team ever and you’re a nitpicky diva yourself, and someone had to tell you to watch?

I think you were sipping tea and watching it all with a wry smile on your face.
When you’re born wealthy and spoiled you never really learn to share ... even within your own family; and that’s exactly the case with spoiled brats Ivanka and Junior _____.

It seems Newsweek got hold of some ancient interview Big Daddy Little Hands _____ did with Howard Stern and, if you didn’t already feel sorry for Tiffany _____, this might ... might ... make you change your mind.

The interview ALLEGEDLY took place in late 2005, and in it, Stern asks _____ about a rumor Ivanka and Junior tried to erase Tiffany from Daddy’s will; _____answers:
“I have a friend who is also like a very rich guy. And he said how his children hate the new children coming along and everything else; I said, ‘Yeah, because every time you have a child, it’s 20 percent less to the people [Inaudible].'”
So then Stern asks if Junior and Ivanka were trying to “bump off a child.” Trump instantly says:
Stern asks if that rumor is true and _____ tries to evade the question but Stern keeps asking it, and finally _____ says:
Then _____ points out that when he dies, all his kids will be inherit ... wait for it, he actually said it ... _____ University and _____ Ice bottle water. _____ U is gone and _____ Ice is now only available at _____’s tacky hotels and resorts.

Big coins, eh? Now, to be fair, ______ may have been lying about Ivanka and Junior wanting to nix Tiffany from the bankroll, but then that means he’d paint his own children as greedy monsters for a story; or, he’s telling the truth and his two oldest kids are evil greedy spoiled self-entitled loons who will never amount to anything.

Either way ... I think on the day Daddy kicks it and the will is read, Tiffany will be the proud owner of a warehouse filled with MAGA hats.
Back before Leah Remini left the Cult of Scientology, she co-starred with Kevin James on The King of Queens, a minor hit for CBS. The show ended and Leah and Kevin went about their business; he made a couple of films and she began taking down a cult.

James returned to TV, with a new TV wife, last year in Kevin Can Wait and toward the end of the season Leah Remini guest-starred on the show, ands the ratings went way up. The producers loved the higher numbers and sop they asked Leah Remini to join the cast only there was one hitch: Kevin James’ character had a wife and how would it look if he and Leah, who plays an old flame, were all flirty and stuff. What to do, what to do ...

Kill off the wife. Yes, they killed the wife character, played by Erinn Hayes and brought Remini back full-time and will slowly—so as not to alienate fans—have Leah and Kevin become a TV couple. Wow. But, when asked how they planned to reveal the death of the “wife,” producers said they would keep it thoughtful and simple except ... not so much ... this is how they did it:

The new season began with Kevin’s character, aptly named Kevin, looking at the mail and finding a letter addressed to his wife from her gym that read:
“We haven’t seen you, we miss you.”
Kevin replies:
“You know what, so do I.” 
His TV daughter Kendra—actress Taylor Spreitler—grabs the letter and says:
“It’s been over a year since she died, they shouldn’t still be sending this.”
Then Kevin makes a joke about not throwing it out, because he wants to save the coupon attached for a kung fu lesson.

Wow. That was sweet and simple: the junk mail reveal. And Kevin made need to Kung Fu lessons to protect him if he ever comes across Erin n Hayes—the now-dead TV wife—in an LA alley.

Just sayin’.
I used to like Wendy Williams until she went the Trans humor route and I stopped watching. As a Snarker, however, I loved her daily dose of gossip, though now she might not be as thrilled with the rumor mill ...

The Daily Mail reports that Wendy’s husband, Kevin Hunter, has ... ALLEGEDLY ... been carrying on a ten-year affair with 32-year-old massage therapist Sharina Hudson; the Daily Mail knows this because they’ve been watching the adulterers for over a year! They claim Kevin has been living a double life, moving between his home with Wendy and the condo he bought for Sharina. And the Daily Mail has pictures of Kevin and Sharina—he calls her “Shawty”—at the apartment, the gym, and even at the grocery store ... pictures showing Sharina wearing a big ass diamond engagement ring. And they also have photos of the inside of the mailbox at the new, private $765,000 house Kevin ALLEGEDLY upgraded them to, showing both Kevin and Sharina’s names. Sources claim they live a pretty normal life other than the fact that Kevin has a wife, another house and a son just a couple of towns over.

And this really is nothing new for Kevin Hunter; he’s not really what you might call a gentleman. Back in 2008 he was sued for sexual harassment by a talent broker who worked on Wendy’s radio show; that was settled out of court. And Kevin had an affair back in 2001, which Wendy now admits to having known about, and decided to stay with him because the cheating made them stronger ... or made him hide the next time even better?

And so she’s doing the same now; when the story broke and Wendy appeared on her show, she flashed her wedding ring and called the rumors fake:
“I stand by my guy. All is well in Hunterville. Don’t believe the hype. And if there was hype, believe me, I would let you know. And by the way, I’ll be following this story. So I guess I’ll have to watch to find out what happens.”
It’s not true he has two homes ... not true he gets mail at a house with another woman, with whom he shops and dines and works out and lives; and, also not true, is the quote from Sharina’s parents saying they want Kevin to dump Wendy and marry Sharina because they want grandbabies.

Keep following it Wendy ... we’ll follow it to divorce court.
Lenny Kravitz is steamy hot. But this isn’t about that; it’s about Lenny and chocolates.

Lenny is living in Paris while working on a new album, but he took a night off for the opening performance of the Paris Opera Ballet. While most men wore tuxedos, Lenny wore black leather ... like I said, hot ... and in one of the pockets was some chocolate he brought along for a snack. And that hidden chocolate caused some issues when, minutes after the lights went down, Lenny pulled that piece of chocolate out to nibble on, and as he unwrapped it, a man in front of him went off:
“Shhhh! Stop eating! Stop eating!”
And so Lenny got out of his seat and confronted the man:
“Don’t tell me what to do. This is France!”
And we’ll stop ... This is France? That’s an excuse? I’m’a use that if I ever get stopped by a cop and see what happens, though it clearly didn’t help Lenny because ... back to our story ...

Lenny was then grabbed by a woman nearby, who exclaimed:
“You don’t know who that is!”
She was speaking about the ALLEGED VIP at whom Lenny was shrieking; and so he replied:
“I don’t care—don’t tell me what to do.”
And just when it looked like Lenny and the VIP might schedule a duel with pistols at dawn, it was over ...  Lenny took his seat, then stormed out—perhaps to eat his chocolates in the lobby—only to return 15 minutes later to watch the show. And then, after the show, Lenny was seen with the French VIP hugging it out in the lobby and laughing.

Maybe Lenny’s blood sugar was low ... let him eat chocolate and, as Lenny taught us, Let Love Rule.


anne marie in philly said...

triple kraptrashian pregnancies - kim, khloe, kylie - 3 whores & their whore "parent".

this week's garbage smells just as bad as the dump's handling of the crisis in puerto rico!

mistress maddie said...

I have,always said the Kardashian are like amoebas. Cut one in half then there are two. And they seem indestructible so we screwed till eternity.........

the dogs' mother said...

Someday The Engineer is going to ask what day it
is and I will answer 'Snarkaday'. :-) xoxoxoxo

Leeanna Henderson said...

When Miss Mimi was trying to cover her butt for screwing up, I laughed so hard. When Miss Seacrest tried to cover his butt, I laughed even harder.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Keven Hunter is a Cheetah he won't change his spots no matter who his wife is.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I feel bad for Kevin James' former TV wife. I guess that's show biz but still, hard to lose a job like that.

Sheila Morris said...

Bob, all I can think of to say about this is
My goodness, boy and girls - what must your parents think??

Deedles said...

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! The thought of KKK kopulating and having kids kills me. Kevins and Kravitz, what's with all the ks? Sorry, eye injections yesterday so my vision is blurry and my head hurts. I should never tackle snarkurday in this condition. I hop the spelings ok :)

Sadie J said...

Tiffany seems to be the only _____-spawn that has any intelligence. Of course, maybe that's only because she's smart enough to put some distance between her and her irksome parental unit.

Jim said...

Melissa Joan Hart taking her role as "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" literally these days.
What a bitch she has become since her so called "hey day" of the 1990's TV stardom.

Blobby said...

I'm sure it's a shitty show, but I'm glad Remini is making bank, since all her other income probably went to Scientology.