Donald _____, at one of his ego-boosting rallies in Florida the day after first responders removed eight dead bodies from a nursing home:
“It was such a small number [of dead people] that nobody would have — people thought thousands and thousands of people may have had their lives ended. And the number is a very small number, which is a great tribute to you.”
There were some 33 storm-related deaths, damage estimates run as high as $100 billion, and, as he spoke some 2.7 million Floridians were still without power. But hey it’s all great!
Oh, and by the way, earlier this year ____ requested massive cuts to FEMA’s disaster relief fund so he could pay for that wall that we aren’t supposed to be paying for.
Lady Gaga, on Madonna ... again:
“The thing with me and Madonna is that I admired her always and still admire her, no matter what she might think of me. The only thing that really bothers me about her is [that] I’m Italian and from New York, so if I have a problem with somebody, I’m gonna tell you to your face. She wouldn’t look me in the eye and tell me I’m reductive [Madonna’s ‘pet phrase for Gaga]. I just want Madonna to push me up against the wall and kiss me and tell me I’m a piece of shit.”
Madonna is reductive. That’s all.
Ivanka _____, on her ‘job’ and why she never disagrees with Daddy:
“To voice dissent publicly would mean I’m not part of the team. When you’re part of a team, you’re part of a team. That doesn’t mean everyone in the White House has homogeneous views – we don’t, and I think that’s good and healthy – but that doesn’t mean we’re publicly undermining [each other] and this administration. ... Some people have created unrealistic expectations of what they expect from me. That my presence in and of itself would carry so much weight with my father that he would abandon his core values and the agenda that the American people voted for when they elected him. It’s not going to happen. To those critics, shy of turning my father into a liberal, I’d be a failure to them. Whether my contribution ultimately lives up to the expectations of some of the harshest critics? Only time will tell. But I will not be distracted by the noise.”
Um, Ivanka, you idiot. Voicing your opinion, even if it differs from your white supremacist father, isn’t a bad thing. It shows you have a spine—which you don’t—and shows you are willing to stand for something—you don’t—and fight for something—you don’t—that isn’t just a little whim of Daddy’s.
And to reiterate because you, like your Dimbulb Daddy, forget: the American people, a majority if us, voted for Hillary Clinton.
You’re a hypocrite, and a panderer, and a goose-stepper and an accomplice. That’s your legacy.
Dianne Feinstein, Democratic California Senator, on _____’s reTweet of a video which depicted him violently striking Hillary Clinton with a golf ball:
“The president’s Sunday morning tweet of a video depicting an attack on Hillary Clinton is appalling and disgusting. He continues to obsessively lash out at her — at his rallies, with his words and now through social media — in a manner that is utterly unbecoming of the president of the United States. Every one of us should be offended by the vindictive and candidly dangerous messages that demean not only Secretary Clinton but all women. Grow up and do your job.”
Grow up? Like that’ll ever happen.
Oh, and Melania? This should be the first stop on your ALLEGED anti-bullying campaign.
Jimmy Kimmel, calling out Senator Bill Cassidy and the deception and hypocrisy of Republicans who are trying to pass another bill to repeal and replace Obamacare—Cassidy actually promised Kimmel that a new bill would have to pass the “Kimmel test”:
“This new bill actually does pass ‘the Jimmy Kimmel Test’ – but a different ‘Jimmy Kimmel Test.’ In this one, your child with a pre-existing condition will get the care he needs if, and only if, his father is Jimmy Kimmel. Otherwise you might be screwed. Now I don’t know what happened to Bill Cassidy, but when he was on this publicity tour, he listed his demands for a health care bill very clearly. [N]ot only did Bill Cassidy fail the Jimmy Kimmel test, he failed the Bill Cassidy test. He failed his own test and you don’t see that happen very much. This bill they came up with is actually worse than the one that, thank God, Republicans like Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski and John McCain torpedoed over the summer. Health care is complicated. It’s boring. I don’t want to talk about it. The details are confusing. And that’s what these guys are relying on. They’re counting on you to be so overwhelmed with all the information, you just trust them to take care of you. But they’re not taking care of you, they’re taking care of the people who give them money, like insurance companies. And we’re all just looking at our Instagram accounts and liking things while they’re voting on whether people can afford to keep their children alive or not. Most of the congresspeople who vote on this bill probably won’t even read it. And they want us to do the same thing. They want us to treat it like an iTunes service agreement. And this guy, Bill Cassidy, just lied right to my face.”
Of course he did, because it’s not about healthcare at all, because if it was they’d come up with a better plan first, and the repeal and replace.
This is about dismantling Obama’s legacy because he’s a black man.
Ellen DeGeneres, saying she will never have “President” _____ on her show:
“You know, he is who he is, and he has enough attention, and he has his Twitter account and he has ways to get his message across … and I don’t want to give him a platform because it just validates him. I think he’s dangerous for me, personally as a gay woman, and for the country and world at large. He is dividing all of us, and I think, I just don’t want him on the show.”
What Ellen said.