PR All-St★rs 4 Ep 7: Match Game 2014

This week, Alyssa Milano teeter-totters onto the runway — seriously, she’s been pregnant longer than Jessica Simpson was pregnant, and that girl was pregnant for a hair under two years — to announce that the designtestants will be designing for real people who hooked up, or are about to hook up, via Match.com.

That sparks the fear right away — Michelle nearly passes out realizing they’ll be doing menswear — and then Alyssa tossed out the fact that it was a pairs challenge. Double whammy! Then the third whammy; as winner last week, Sonjia gets to pick first, and then pair up the other designers however she sees fit.

Sonjia wants to work with Dmitry, and then puts Jay with Fabio, Michelle with Samantha, and Justin with Helen. Strategy or willy-nilly? I dunno; but I do know the budget is $300 for both looks, and they have one day to complete the task

And that was the fourth whammy. But, Alyssa tossed a bone out there by announcing that the winner gets a luxury spa date for two courtesy of Match.com.

Okay then, let’s rip …

DMITRY AND SONJIA

Or as I call them Team Ego. Sonjia has a fairly outsized opinion of herself, but Dmitry thinks he’s so good that his ego spilled over onto her.

Dmitry will be designing for Craig — a Hot Daddy — and wants to do a sweater and a pair of pants. Yawn. Sonjia is paired with Helen — who cites Kim Kardastrophe as her ideal … I nearly blew chunks — and wants to do something sexy and bold.

Zanna thinks Dmitry’s look is nice because it has a diagonal design in blues and blacks, and warns Sonjia about keeping the details simple since the color is so bold.

WHAT DMITRY SAID

I think it looks really, REALY, REALLY cool and chic.

WHAT I SAID

He’s a Hot Daddy in a sweater and if he showed up on a first date with me looking like that … okay, I’d hit it, but I’d try to get him to wear something more vibrant.

WHAT SONJIA SAID

I love the cut-out, I love the fit. I LOVE the color.

WHAT I SAID

I got autopsy from the cut-out. The top part looks like two skin flaps cut and peeled up from the body exposing the cut-out. Yeah, I watch too much Forever.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

DMITRY — Isaac loved the diagonal detail on Dmitry’s sweater, while guest judge, the fabulous Laverne Cox, was underwhelmed, and felt the look had no interesting details. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ wished for more color, and thought it looked less ‘first date’ and more ‘married for twenty years.’

SONJIA — The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves the color choice, but wasn’t a fan of the crescent moon cut-out. Isaac did like the cut-out because, without it, the dress was dull. Laverne Cox liked the detail in the bodice—not the cut-out, but the skin flaps—while Alyssa said it just didn’t look ‘date night.’

WHAT HAPPENED

Just safe; just ‘meh.’

HELEN AND JUSTIN

There was tension at the outset because Helen wanted to do the men’s look, but Justin won a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors In The Eye, and she took the woman’s design.

Helen created a shirt-dress look for her client Becca, with a cape detail and an open back, while Justin played safe with a button down shirt and jeans done up like trousers for cool blond John.

Zanna loved the menswear details in Helen’s look, but worried that Justin’s was just a nice idea.

WHAT HELEN SAID

She looks beautiful and fashion forward.

WHAT I SAID

And she should lean forward because that look is way too short. And, is she a superhero because I don’t get the cape detail?

WHAT JUSTIN SAID

It’s fairly clean and modern.

WHAT I SAID

I have that same outfit in my closet and I never wear it because it makes me look like a geek.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

HELEN — Alyssa thought the fabric looked like pajama fabric, while The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the back cut-out but found the cape part and the rest of it pretty awful. Isaac said she looked pregnant from the front, saying it was less ‘first date’ and more ‘first trimester,’ and called it bad clothes from K-Mart. Laverne agreed that the girl looked pregnant.

JUSTIN — Isaac was sassy, and said, “It’s like he told you make him nothing and you made him nothing.” Alyssa wasn’t impressed with the design but liked the construction. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called it geek not chic and Laverne Cox liked it because she thought john was hot; so hot that she hit on him, and told him if it doesn’t work out with Becca he should call her.

Like I said, she’s fabulous!

WHAT HAPPENED

Justin and Helen are both deservedly on the bottom, but the judges decide that instead of eliminating one of them, both will move on. Personally, I would have sent them both home, but that’s just me.

MICHELLE AND SAMANTHA

Michelle hates designing for men — she doesn’t design around the penis, to which I say, Girl, give it a try. Plus, she’s feeling sick, which makes me think she’ll have to have Samantha finish her look, but Samantha ain’t playing teams; in fact, she says, “'Project Runway All Stars' is like completely when you’re on a plane and it’s going down. And they are like, save yourself first and then proceed to help the next person.”

Luckily Michelle rallies, and creates another sweater-and-pants combo for the hot Arvind. Zanna loves the fact that she went cashmere for the sweater because she, and Michelle, love rubbing on a man in cashmere.

Samantha designs for Racquel and wants to do a pencil skirt and a crop top—which, by now, we all know is her Go-To Design Choice. Zanna worries that it’s too simple; she should have worried about Boobs.

WHAT MICHELLE SAID

Damn! This is a fantastic looking men’s outfit.

WHAT I SAID

It’s kinda high school, and I loathe the stitched on front pockets on the pants, but Arvind is hot so, well, yeah.

WHAT SAMANTHA SAID

It drapes so nicely on her.

WHAT I SAID

I see boobs dropping below the cropped top, and why oh why a crocheted skirt? And why oh why those awful shoes? This is one hot mess.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

MICHELLE — Alyssa loved the details of the buttons on the pants pockets and the zippers on the sweater, while The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called it masculine and relaxed. Isaac said it was nice, but found all the detail a bit junior. Junior high School, Isaac? He also said the cashmere didn’t look like a good cashmere. Laverne said, ‘Oh no’ and felt the pants were too long and the shirt too loose; she wants fitted to show off Arvind’s body.

Yeah, I’ll say it again, she’s fabulous!

SAMANTHA — For Alyssa this looked like something you’d find in a department store … in a discount mall, The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ liked the top, from the front, but hated that it was so long in the back. Isaac called it Bra-spotting; he actually muttered, ‘Ugh’ and said he wanted to slap her.

WHAT HAPPENED

Michelle made Top Three, Samantha made Bottom Three, but both are safe.

FABIO AND JAY

Finally a gay couple! And having clothes designed by gays. Gays for Gays, I say! After meeting with their clients, Fabio and jay decide to do a switcheroo on the fellas. Since Jay’s client Brice likes a nice shirt and pants, and Fabio’s Tarek likes jeans and t-shirts, they’ll put Bryce in jeans and Tarek in a shirt and pants.

Fabio wants a jacket for Tarek — who is beyond hot … those eyes … I’m dying — but decides to scrap it into short-sleeves and make it a shirt. Zanna calls it sexy and sophisticated.

Not so for Jay, who opted for pink:  “I find this amazing pink fabric for my jacket. It looks sophisticated. It looks bright. It looks GAAAY.” Note to Jay: just because a man is gay doesn’t mean he likes pink. Having been queer since Day One, I can safely say I would never wear a pink jacket. Even Zanna worries about the pink on a buff Australian, so Jay takes off the sleeves and does them in a heather gray. Better.

WHAT FABIO SAID

It looks completely perfect.

WHAT I SAID

I kind of wish the shirt was open at the top and the pants were a tad longer, but I kept staring at Tarek’s eyes and so, yeah.

WHAT JAY SAID

It makes me feel really happy.

WHAT I SAID

I liked it better now that it was less pink. It’s a cute look for a daytime date, but not for nighttime.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

First, I loved when Laverne Cox asked, “Was there a kiss on the date? Now did you want to kiss? Do you want to kiss now?!” And they did.

She is, and yes, I’ll say it again, fabulous!

FABIO — Alyssa loved the silhouette and called it wearable and hot — or maybe that was just Tarek. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thought it looked like scrubs, but in a good way; she called it the strongest design on the runway. Laverne did think there were some fit issues in the shoulders and Isaac said it looked a little ecclesiastical and nautical, like a gay priest on a yacht, and just loved the silhouette.

JAY — Alyssa loved the heather grey and the lilac — oh, so it’s not pink but lilac? I still wouldn’t wear a jacket entirely made of lilac. She asked Laverne if Lilac was the New Black. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved how relaxed it was and said it had a wonderful balance of fit and color, while Isaac called it — or Bryce? — chic and easy, but thought it bordered on Boca retirement village.

WHAT HAPPENED

I think there might have been a coin flip, but Fabio gets the Win because his clothes were cool and Tarek was so hot in them.

MY TAKE

Gays Rule!

I liked the challenge, but nothing really seemed first date to me. They all looked kinda nice, but not special; well-made, but not much — except for Fabio’s Homo Priest on the High Seas.

Speaking of which: Tarek. Oy! I nearly had to make Carlos leave the room when he was on. Those eyes! That face! What we could see of that body beneath the clothes! And that lucky bitch Bryce who got to kiss him. Okay, I did make Carlos leave the room!

Best line? Jay, when he switched one sleeve of the jacket to heather, and left the other in pink lilac, and spun around side to side, saying, “Girl [the all pink side] and GGGIIIIIRRRL. [the gray side]”

Second best line? Michelle, commenting on Helen’s blue fabric: “… and it’s in the Monica Lewinski blue dress fabric. Is it going to come back with stain? I don’t know.”

I wanted to see more of Dmitry after hearing Fabio had won. I wanted to see his head explode. Dmitry may not make it to The Tents because he hasn’t been great this season. Fabio is almost certain to show in the finale, unless he totally goes Bubblegum Denim again, while I think Michelle might also show. Justin, sadly, needs to be kicked in the ass to up his game, and Helen, well, I can’t see it. That leaves jay and Dmitry for the third slot; Dmitry has the edge, but he also needs to have a wow. And if Jay goes, might I ask that he stop wearing the Daisy Dukes? Please.

And someone should have gone home. I didn't think the Bottom Two were worthy of staying.

What did YOU think?