I Didn't Say It ...

Dan Savage, on Marcus Bachmann's orientation [ALLEGEDLY] and his "ex-gay" therapy clinics:

“It’s so sad and pathetic. A lot of the self-destructive behaviors gay people are prone to drifting into are directed inward, and then you have these sh*tbags like Marcus Bachmann for whom it’s all directed outward. Marcus Bachmann is the photo negative of the guy on the last bar stool in the gay bar, drinking and smoking himself to death, except instead of destroying himself, he’s destroying other vulnerable queer people in an effort to destroy the queer inside himself.”

How sad it must be, to be in such denial of who you are that you create a business in which to help other people feel ashamed of themselves.

Even if Marcus Bachmann isn’t gay, he should be ashamed of himself for his ex-gay therapies.

Pippa Middleton, on Kim Kardastrophe’s nude Paper magazine cover:

“No year is complete without a bottom story, and the ‘Rear of 2014’ award undoubtedly goes to Kim Kardashian, after her posterior exploded all over the internet last month. … But the Kim butt story did make me pause. What is it with this American booty culture? It seems to me to be a form of obsession. Kim’s aim, apparently, was to break the internet, but I’m not sure she’s going the right way about it.”

When all you have to show for yourself is an ass, then that’s all you’ll ever be.

Melissa Rivers, speaking about her mother, Joan, who was honored at The Hollywood Reporter’s Women in Entertainment luncheon:

“My mother was fearless. And I don’t mean she didn’t have any fears, I mean that even though she was only 5’2, she stood tall and walked through it. And that’s what made her such a brilliant performer. She was willing to say what others were thinking and too frightened to admit. She made fun of herself first and foremost which gave her the right to joke about others. She never apologized for a joke, and no topic was taboo and she was fine with that. Truth be told, my mother never thought of herself as a woman working in a man’s world. She thought of herself as a comic that had to be funnier than anyone else…she just wanted to do her job and that was to make people laugh. ... There’s been tribute after tribute to my mother [where she’s] been called everything from a legend, to a trailblazer, to a bitch; the bottom line is, she was really just my mother.”

Still missing Joan ….

Michele Bachmann, the Quitting Congresswoman, on what she said to the President at the White House holiday party:

"I turned to the president and I said, something to the effect of, ‘Mr. President, you need to bomb the Iranian nuclear facilities, because if you don’t, Iran will have a nuclear weapon on your watch and the course of world history will change.' And he got his condescending smile on his face and laughed at me and said, 'Well Michele, it’s just not that easy.' And I said to him, 'No, Mr. President, you’re the president, it will happen on your watch, and you’ll have to answer to the world for this.' And that was it and then I left. Merry Christmas." 

And Obama looked at her, Crazy Eyes roaming the walls of a House in which she will never reside, and as she walked out he said, “Finally, a gift I like!”

Who the f**k does Michele Bachmann think she is to tell any president what he or she ought to do? And where was the Secret Service when this lunatic entered the White House?

Michael C. Hall, on playing Hedwig on Broadway and why he’s drawn to gay roles:

"I think I gravitate toward characters who are defined by some sense of conflict or secret keeping. I think in the case of David Fisher [on Six Feet Under], it was about the character's inherent conflict — something that made him inherently dramatic. In case of Hedwig, it was the chance to front a rock band and sing awesome rock-and-roll music. There is something about people, for one reason or the other, who are marginalized by their circumstance that is compelling to me. That has manifested itself into me playing a few, or more than a few, characters who are gay."

Well, and we’re fabulous, too, so there’s that to play as well.