Meme Dump

So, This Happened ...

Last week disgraced former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, who was  impeached, removed from office, convicted, and incarcerated for eight years on federal charges of public corruption and who, after leaving prison, filed a lawsuit challenging the state resolution prohibiting him from running for any state or local office in Illinois was taken to task by the judge in his case.

In dismissing Blagojevich’s 2021 suit, U.S. District Judge Steven Seeger accused the former governor of using the federal courthouse as a megaphone in an attempt to get back in the political game following the commutation of his 14-year prison sentence by the former president, a criminal himself.

Seeger quoted from Dr. Seuss’ 1972 book “Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!” when he said:

“The time has come. The time is now. Just Go. Go. GO! I don’t care how. You can go by foot. You can go by cow. Marvin K. Mooney, will you please go now!”

Blago got Seuss’d!

The Funny Papers

JD Crowe, Dave Whamond, Gary Huck, Kevin Kallaugher, Adam Zyglis, Lalo Alcaraz, Jack Ohman, Deb Milbrath, Clay Bennett, Mike Luckovich, Ed Hall

Why Is It ...

… that when I’m at home, watching the news, I think, ‘Why isn’t there more kindness in the world?’ But when I’m driving I hate every single person on the planet?

… that I like the wrinkles that occur from laughter, but call the ones between my eyebrows , the deep ones, my WTF lines?

… that my ex once said he couldn’t live without me and I just found out he’s still alive; more lies!

… that I’ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me?

… that people don’t understand that I am worth every headache I give?

… that one of my rules is that we can only be friends if you’re kind of a bitch? Not a full on bitch because that’s no fun, and if you’re not a bitch at all, I’ll scare you too much. But halfway bitches? Those are my people.

… that my personality is basically a mix between a needy five-year-old child who cannot control his emotions, a teenage rebel who makes poor life decisions, and an eighty-year-old man who just wants to nap?

… that I get easily annoyed, but I also get pre-annoyed., knowing that someone is going to piss me off?

I Didn't Say It ...

Jimmy Kimmel, in one of his opening monologues this week:

“The Great White Supremacist has until Monday to come up with a $464 million bond, or the state may seize and sell his property. [Thing 45] said nobody has ever heard of anything like this before. [Thing 45]  needs cash and—we never heard of most of the crazy stuff he did before—I mean, nobody ever heard of the president changing the weather with a Sharpie before either. Something tells me over the weekend, [Thing 45]’s going to start talking about how strong Vladimir Putin is, and suddenly a dump truck full of rubles will pull up and cover this for him. But of course the real loser here is Melania. She may end up with half of the nothing he owns now. I hope she got an advance on that prenup, because if you think she hates him now, wait until he’s poor. [Thing 45] yesterday asked the Supreme Court to grant him absolute immunity in the case related to the events of January 6th, and he also wants immunity from chlamydia, just in case, you know. But his argument is that the threat of future imprisonment, not for him, it would prevent the president from doing potentially illegal things, which I think is the point of prison in the first place. But if [Thing 45] wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity.”

Aaaaaaand scene!

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Alina Habba, Thing 45’s trick, er, lawyer, on a QAnon podcast saying “the real insurrection” was against Thing 45:

“There have been people that have testified in front of Congress that have said that there were FBI assets put on the ground on January 6. I know that my client said, ‘Go peacefully and patriotically.’ I’m not sure how, when you add those two things up, that means there was an insurrection started by [Thing 45]. It sounds to me like there was a planned political movement, and it wasn’t by Republicans. And if you look at the footage that has come out where they try and make it sound horrific but you see people being guided with security, I mean—and I wasn’t there; I’m not—I wasn’t part of the administration, but I can tell you what I see on TV. I can tell you what I hear when people are testifying, and none of that amounts to this. They use these words, ‘fraud’ and ‘insurrectionist’—anything that they can—disgusting phrases about women and his treatment towards women that are just not true and have no factual basis. And I see it over and over again.”

Alina, honey, he’s never going to pay you and he’s never going to marry you; he may grab you by the pussy because, no matter how many times you say he didn’t say that, he did say it, and he did do it.

See you at Starbucks when this is all over and  try to get my order right.

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Lev Parnas, former associate of Drunkle Rudy Giuliani, this week’s Hunter Biden hearing, tearing the GOP to shreds:

“The American people have been lied to, by [Thing 45], Rudy Giuliani, and various co-hosts of individuals in government and media positions. They created falsehoods to serve their own interests knowing it would undermine the strength of our nation. The only information ever pushed on the Bidens and Ukraine has come from one source and one source only: Russia and Russian agents predicated on false information spread by the Kremlin. Every person integral to this shadow diplomacy knew that the Biden corruption rumors were baseless. Then-Congressman Devin Nunes, Senator Ron Johnson, and many other individuals understood that they were pushing a false narrative. The same goes for John Solomon, Sean Hannity, and media personnel, particularly at Fox News, who used that narrative to manipulate the public ahead of the 2020 election. They are still doing this today, as we approach the 2024 election.”

Ash yourselves a simple question: do you trust Putin and Russia, and if you don’t, and you shouldn’t, ask yourselves why the GOP trusts them so much.

Criminals, all.

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Michael Knowles, conservative political commentator, on his podcast squawking about same-sex marriage:

“Whether we reverse the Obergefell decision or not, gay marriage has not been legal for 10 years. Gay marriage doesn’t exist because it’s not possible. It’s no knock—I got a lot of friends who are a little light in the loafers. You know, I went to a very gay university and I’m from New York and I lived in LA. So this has nothing to do with, you know, the icky gays or whatever. It’s just not possible. It’s just not what marriage is. As we just discussed, sexual difference, complementarity is part of the very definition of marriage. And that derives, not from some thought in that guy’s head, but from nature. So, yeah, we can pass a court decision or whatever, it’s not gonna change the—whatever word you wanna use for it—the union that creates and educates children and mutually supports the spouses. That’s just gonna be what it is.”

Clearly this wingnut—and let me make this perfectly queer: he has no gay friends because no open and proud gay man or women would have a friend like this—hasn’t seen the facts, or read a newspaper, or even spoken to anyone whose brain fires on more than one cylinder.

Same-sex marriage is here to stay, and marriage is not just to produce children, but a commitment between two people to the world, gay or straight. If marriage was only about children then straight couples who choose not to procreate, or couples who cannot procreate, would not have the right to marriage.

Michael Knowles, who seems like a self-loathing, closeted gay man who loves to brag about the gay places he’s been and the gay schools he went to and the gay friends he has, is still living in the last century.

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Joan Jett, blasting MAGAt has-been Ted Nugent after he blew a gasket because Rolling Stone put her on its list of “100 Greatest Guitarists”:

“Neither should he. Is that his implication, that he should be on the list instead of me? Well, that’s just typical—it’s what I’ve dealt with my whole life, being written off. Ted Nugent has to live with being Ted Nugent. He has to be in that body, so that’s punishment enough He’s not a tough guy. He plays tough guy, but this is the guy who sh*t his pants—literally—so he didn’t have to go in the Army. So this is the tough guy who’s running around America, stirring things up against each other.”

Nugent is a talentless misogynistic pig and Joan Jett is a rock icon with zero fucks to give.

That’s all.

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Bobservations

Last night I was watching the new season of Top Chef and Carlos came out and sat down so I told him about the show. I looked over and he was out. I said:

“What’cha doin’ sleepy?”

“I’m not sleepy. I was listening to you.”

“What did I say?”

“They’re cooking something …”

And this started a conversation we have quite often where Carlos falls asleep and I tell him that means he’s tired and should go to bed, and he, like a kid, says he’s not tired and wants to stay up a bit longer.

“Go to bed!”

So off he went at about 10PM and I followed about a half hour later; he was out like a light, a slight snore—either from him or Rosita—filled the room.

This morning, over breakfast, he says:

“I was tired last night. I’m glad I went to bed early.”

“You WENT to bed? I TOLD you to go to bed.”

“I don’t recall it like that.”

He’s such a child.

This Tuxedo Memory is from April 10, 2015when we had some weird wild weather here in Camden and Tuxedo was not playing:

“#TooHot4Tuxedo

We went from the cold, with the heater on last Sunday, to running the AC on Wednesday because we were nearing ninety-degrees outside.

And Tuxedo was not having it ....”

I love his ‘Woe is me’ pose!

The American Bible Society will be closing down its Faith and Liberty Discovery Center in Philadelphia, just three years after the $60 million museum opened.

The ABS announced that the center was ending operations on April 1 after struggling from the jump, receiving just $54,000 in ticket sales for the tax year of July 2021 to June 2022, while reporting total expenses of around $11 million.

I guess God saw what they were selling and even She was buying it.

I love all these moans and whines about inflation and eggs and gas and everything else, but please to explain why people are paying hundreds … hundreds … of dollars for a canvas Trader Joe’s tote that costs just $3.00 originally.

Seriously people. First it was the Stanley cups and now this.

Maybe it’s like Swifty, who rerecorded all her albums  to 'reclaim' ownership of copyright in the master recordings of her musical works, following their sale by her former management company.

But then her fans, who had already purchased her music, purchased the new rerecordings, and then they paid for her Eras tour, and then they paid to see the Eras movie and now they’re paying to see the latest version of the Eras movie.

There’s a sucker born every minute.

Republicans on the House Oversight Committee tabled a motion to subpoena Jared Kushner, the son-in-law of, and former White House adviser to Mr-Former-Fake-One-Term-Twice-Impeached-Currently-Four-Time-Criminally-Indicted-Not-My-President-Gurl.

See, the GOP doesn’t give a damn that, while, working for the US government Jared Kushner and his husband Ivanka made some $2,000,000,000 from the Saudis when they are busy trying to prove that Joe Biden made $50,000 on a Hunter Biden deal.

That sounds about right, eh?

Arizona’s House Education Committee advanced a bill to allow public school teachers and administrators to post and discuss the Ten Commandments in the classroom.

This is Christian Nationalism at work, people, and it must be stopped.

We are a nation with Freedom of, and from, Religion.

I saw this on Facebook and it fits the South to a T:

“I know Mother Nature is going to put the South in an oven this Summer, We just got seasoned with Pollen and then stuck right back in the refrigerator to marinate.”

Funny, cuz it’s true.

In high-larious news, Mr-Former-Fake-One-Term-Twice-Impeached-Currently-Four-Time-Criminally-Indicted-Not-My-President-Gurl has not been able to get a bond to secure the $464 million fraud judgment against him.

Funny, a billionaire doesn’t have the cash on hand, and funnier that no one wants to help him because they know he’ll never pay that money back.

Özkan Görmez is a model and actor, or maybe a scientist, I don't know; but this is mostly me wondering, Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: Andie MacDowell’s Storybook LA Home

In the heart of Silver Lake dream in this spectacular classic 1920s Tudor Storybook home with original character and new designer finishes; natural light streams through the home's abundance of windows showcasing the sophistication and timeless elegance of the design.

Newly updated with luxurious quality finishes and incredible attention to detail the home features five bedrooms and four baths, a formal living room and dining room, and a grand second-story family room. The kitchen with marble countertops and custom island is a chef's dream featuring a stunning La Cornue range as well as Miele appliances hidden elegantly behind custom panels.

The living room features a fireplace as well as an impressive Palladian fanlight window and a grand curved staircase that leads you upstairs to the upper-level family room with panoramic Silver Lake Reservoir views;  beside that room is a bedroom with 15-foot pitched ceilings while the primary suite overlooks the backyard and pool and includes a sitting area, custom walk-in closet, and ensuite bathroom with large shower and separate soaking tub.

The front and backyards are thoughtfully landscaped using drought-tolerant California natives throughout and a plunge pool designed, along with plenty of indoor & outdoor spaces to entertain and relax. A separate 2-car garage with loft with a 720 square foot flex space.

It’s a beautiful home with gorgeous floors, great spaces to entertain, and wonderful views and can be yours for just $4M.

Dwell