Snarky Thoughts

Mismatch. I mean, we all knew Ben Affleck and JLo were two very different people. She’s a thirst queen, media whore who never saw a spotlight she didn't want trained on her face, or ass,  and he’s a quiet recovering alcoholic who seems to shy away from the spotlight. But what might have seemed like a good coupling on paper might not actually work in real life, like when Mr. and Mrs. Affleck attended the Grammys and JLo jumped in front of a camera to present an award while Ben pivoted at their table. And while she danced and sang along with each act, Ben looked like a husband who worked all day and came home to crack a bottle of scotch and sit in the La-Z-Boy until he falls sleep.

My Thought: The Misery is real and the sell-by date on this marriage is getting closer every day.

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Did you ever think Chris Brown would ever do the right thing or, failing that, act like a decent human being? Short answer: No. At last week’s Grammys his album, Breezy (Deluxe) was nominated for Best R&B Album but he lost to Robert Glasper for his album, Black Radio III. And Chrissy brought the Breezy Bratty out after his loss and sped over to Instagram to come for Glasper. Chrissy’s been nominated for 20 Grammys but has just one win and felt robbed, robbed I say, by this latest loss and tried to rip Glasper a new one; sidenote: Robert Glasper has been nominated 12 times and has five trophies and is really what set Brownie off:

“BRO WHO THE F**K IS THIS? YALL PLAYING  WHO DA F**K IS THIS? WH THE F**K IS ROBERT GLASPER.”

I’m hoping it’s someone who can at least string together a coherent sentence, but then Twitter came for Brownie so I could sit this one out:

“Chris Brown not knowing who Robert Glasper is… is the reason all of Chris Brown songs sound the same.”

“Chris Brown has 20 nominations and 1 win. He taking out his frustrations on Robert Glasper but them 19 Ls are the real enemy.”

“The irony of Chris Brown not knowing who Robert Glasper is that he’d probably have at least two Grammys instead of one if he worked with Robert Glasper. Instead, he’s been doing the same Doublemint Gum steps since ‘ever.”

My Thought: If they were giving Grammys for felony convictions Chris Brown would have been a shoe-in over Glasper.

Extra Extra! After seeing that he’d made an epic ass of himself AGAIN, Brownie went back to social media to faux-pologize but only played the Petty Betty card harder:

“Congratulations my brother. I would like to apologize if you took offense to my reaction at the Grammys. After doing my research I actually think your [sic] amazing. THE ORGANIZATION ISNT DOING US BLACKS OUR DUE DILIGENCE. YOU AND I SHOULD never be in the same categor[y] … two totally different vibes and genres.”

Yeah, Brownie, not an apology, and then suggesting Glasper was in the wrong category and you would have won had the academy done the right thing proves the delusions are real.

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The best part of this GOP Congress’ antics is that they  produce ridiculousness rather than giving us anything substantive. Case in point: at a recent hearing about The Twitter the Republicans brought up the fact that a 2019 Tweet by Chrissy Teigen wasn’t removed from the platform after Thing 45 got his Depends in a snit because she called him, um, ahem, “Pussy ass bitch.”

My Thought: That will now and forever be the best part of the Official Congressional Record.

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Philanderers Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes are still going strong after their affair went public and the lovebirds ended up unemployed from the GMA and ABC. But love conquers all, doesn’t it? Or does it become less lovely when you learn that, while they both took the boot, Amy’s boot was a Louboutin compared to T.J.’s full-assed combat boot on his fine ass, since she left with a boatload more cash in her bank account than her lovah.

My Thought: One affair will get you the boot with a nice severance, but being a serial adulterer and using your job as your personal sex pool gets you coins and cab fare.

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I Didn't Say It

Mitt Romney, GOP Senator, after telling George Santos at the SOTU, that he didn’t belong there:

“He should be sitting in the back row and staying quiet instead of parading in front of the president and people coming into the room. Given the fact that he's under ethics investigation, he should be sitting in the back row and staying quiet instead of parading in front of the president and the people coming into the room. He shouldn't be in Congress and they’re going to go through the process and hopefully get him out. But he shouldn’t be there, and f he had any shame at all, he wouldn’t be there.”

Sadly, Mittsy, your party wants him there because he’s a vote they so desperately need. It’s a good thing the GOP has no conscience or spine because if they had then he’d never have been seated.

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George Santos, responding to Romney:

“I think it’s reprehensible that the Senator would say such a thing to me in the demeaning way he said. It wasn’t very Mormon of him.”

It was very Catholic of Santos to lie about being Jewish, or his mother’s passing, or his relationships, or his grandparent’s history, so he’s the last person to have an opinion on anyone else.

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Kevin McCarthy, House Speaker, for now, admitting Republicans “took the bait” by allowing President Biden to their childish heckling at the SOTU into political gold:

“The one thing we need to be is, we need to be smart. Don’t take the bait, stay with the American public about what we want to do.”

And yet they don’t know what they want to do. The border? They have no plan. Fentanyl? Nothing done. Inflation? Nope. But they have tons to say about a  laptop and gas stoves and drag queens and education and investigating the investigators investigating the GOP.

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Steve Bannon, QAnon wingnut and whiny slob, on Sarah Huckleberry Sanders responding to the SOTU:

“If you’re going to give a counter speech, you’ve got to talk about important issues. Don’t get me wrong, the wokeism is very important. But it’s not quite the heart of the matter right now, right? It’s not the heart of the matter. She is not—the reason is she’s just not—she’s not intellectually capable of going to the heart of the matter, let’s be blunt.”

She’s not smart but she’s who the GOP chose which simply means the GOP is not smart.

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Raphael Warnock, Georgia Democrat Senator, saying his new children’s book, “Put Your Shoes on and Get Ready!”, could be banned in Florida:

“Black history is the American story. That’s why I wrote this book. We have to reject the idea that our children will be so traumatized by the truth of our complicated American story that they can’t bear it. [This book] shows young readers that they, too, can find the power to be themselves and make a difference when they have the shoes that fit their feet.”

Children of color? Check. It’s definitely not going to be allowed in any Florida school, especially since a Democrat wrote it.

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Megyn Kelly, podcaster, ripping CNN’s Don Lemon for screaming at his CNN This Morning co-anchor Kaitlan Collins:

“If somebody ever screamed at me to the point where I was visibly upset and ran out of the studio, I would have that person fired. I will go out on a limb right now and tell you, that’s not the first time. There will be another woman who he’s co-anchored with—I guarantee you—who’s going to come out and say, ‘Me too.’ Because if you behave like that toward a colleague with whom you share the air and you share the show, this will not be the first time.”

Boy, this Megyn Kelly really stands up for women … unless you’re Dr. Jill Biden. That Megyn Kelly was pissy as hell because the First Lady was introduced as Dr. Biden and Kelly says she’s not a doctor.

Typical rightwingnut hypocrite.

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Bobservations

Carlos was having trouble with his iPad last night. With his eyesight, he can still read some things on the screen, but he needs it to be in dark mode, and he had done something to change it back to light and asked me to fix it. And I did because I’m nice like that. Then he said the volume needed to be increased because when he was dictating to the iPad he said, and I’m quoting:

“I like to hear the clink clink clink of the dictation.”

I fixed the volume and said to him:

“You know what  like to hear? The sound of your feet moving you out of the office.”

I swear it’s pure comedy gold around here.

Whobert? Honey? It was thing 45 who closed the schools back in 2020, you dimbulb. But then what do you expect from a “Good” Christian woman who, earlier this week, prayed that that Joe Biden would die. Again.

I caught some of the Grammy’s and here’s what I thought … I loathe Beyoncé. I don’t find her the Second Coming in music and I find her a lying pandering hypocrite. As she won an award she thanked God, her dead Uncle, her parents, her husband, her three kids and, wait for it, the hypocrisy stings, the “queer” community. This after doing a concert in Dubai and being paid tens of millions of dollars to perform in a country that outlaws homosexuality. Fuck off, Bey.

Cheers to Kim Petras for being the first out--Thanks Jon--transgender person to win a Grammy in the best pop duo/group performance category, and for Sam Smith to win as the first non-binary artist; they won for their song ‘Unholy.’

Lastly, Madge’s face. Now people are playing off the outrage over Madonna’s appearance as ageism, but it’s not; it’s WhatTheFuckism. I missed the intro so I saw this person walk onstage, speak in a strange voice, not Madge’s usual British accent, and look just odd. As I began to realize it was Madge, my thoughts went from ‘Egads, her face’ to ‘Is this why her Madonna film was shelved? So she could star in the reboot of 'Hellraiser’?

With people calling it ageist to comment on Madge’s new face, I thought, let’s contrast and compare, using Cher, Madonna’s BFF as an example. This year Madonna is celebrating 40 years in music, and has a tour planned to commemorate that feat, so up top is a picture of 24-year-old Madonna from the early days alongside 64-year-old Madonna from last weekend.

Below that is Cher, also from 1983 when she was 36-years-old and contrasted with Cher, who’s been in show business for sixty-plus years,  from 2023 at age seventy-six.

Both women have had work done, but only one has crossed a line, and, again, that’s not ageism, but WhatTheFuckism.

PS And don't give me the line that Madonna looks like that because she shaved her eyebrows; t's the lips and eyes and cheeks and chin, too.

As Tyre Nichols sat propped against a police car, bloodied, dazed and handcuffed after being beaten by a group of Memphis police officers, Officer Demetrius Haley sent a photograph of Nichols to at least five people, including two fellow officers, a civilian employee of the department and a female acquaintance.

Demand police reforms.

Pete Santilli, conservative rightwingnut,  has blamed the earthquake in Turkey and Syria on Sam Smith’s demonic Grammy performance.

Yes, he says that God was so incensed at an Englishman wearing a horned hat and singing a song on TV in California that She sent an earthquake to the other side of the world and murdered over 10,000 people.

Let that sink in.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and you know what that means: revenge gifts … like having your ex’s name engraved on a cat litter box.

The Animal Friends Humane Society , an Ohio animal shelter, offers this service to fundraise and, more importantly, help the heartbroken by letting them be petty! So, if you’ve been dumped or scorned, cheated on or mistreated, dedicate a litter box to the one you used to love. The gesture will cost $5 per box; the promotion will run until February 12, and the shelter will then reveal all the sponsored litter boxes, names included, in a Facebook post on Valentine’s Day.

Ain’t Revenge Grand?

I really need a pair of socks like this, just to see the looks on people faces as I cross and uncross my legs.

Y’all know what a fan I am of the professional sportsball stuff, right? And I especially like that this year the Quarterbacks for each team are both Black men for the first time in history with Kansas City Chiefs Patrick Mahomes, top left, going up against Eagles QB Jalen Hurts, top right. And then there are two brothers playing on opposite teams in the big game. Bottom right is younger brother from the Chiefs, Travis Kelce, while bottom left is the older brother from the Eagles Jason Kelce. All that means nothing when the real question is: Which One Would You Hit?

I hate to boast, but I really think my response to Large Marge was sheer perfection and, dare I say it, even more comedy gold?

Architecture Wednesday: Suspension House

Much like a more modern Fallingwater, the Frank Lloyd Wright masterpiece, this ultra-modern three-bedroom, three-bath plus guesthouse California remodel is suspended between two hills, spanning a creek, with a waterfall in the backyard.

In this part of California, it is no longer legal for homes to be suspended over a creek, so the architects followed strict guidelines on how to use the existing structure as the basis for design and have the new home follow the exact outline of the existing house and decks. Rather than bearing down and disturbing the creek below, the new structural system has been anchored to the bedrock within the flanks of the hill, suspending the home completely over the water. By opening sight lines and using transparent materials, floor-to-ceiling windows, see-through floors, and open-concept outdoor spaces such as floating staircases, the natural water features are visible from the front and back of the house.

The remodel retains 50% of the existing wood structure, a steel frame was inserted beneath the original floors and now anchors the home to the rocky hillside, allowing for the removal of supporting columns from within the creek bed; this new support system is exposed on all the floors.

The first two floors follow the existing house, but the new third floor rotates 90 degrees to better relate to the site and views; this shift also breaks up the mass of the structure, giving it some height, while differentiating itself from the lower floors. Atop a steel frame, the roof—like the home itself—hovers, creating a dynamic space with lots of natural light.

And before y’all come for me, I know it’s not Fallingwater; it lacks the warmth of that house. This one is very sterile and very hard, but it is a sleek ultra-modern cousin of the FLW original.

As always, click to emBIGGERate ...

Dwell

Meme Dump

Ron DeSantis Chooses Guns Over Women's Rghts

I never thought Florida could sink lower—though, to be fair, it’s been sinking figuratively and literally, for years now—after last week’s announcement allowing Floridians to openly carry a weapon without a permit and with no training; in the land of Stand Your Ground the blood will soon flow.

But also last week the Florida High School Athletics Association [FHSAA ] announced its decision to require student athletes to give their schools detailed information about their periods if they choose to sign up for a sports team.

In October the FHSAA changed its annual physical form for student athletes to a digital version and this new form includes optional but detailed questions about students’ menstruation cycles, including when they got their first period, when they had their most recent one, and how many weeks pass between periods. Previously, only one page of the paper form—on which a pediatrician would sign off on a student being allowed to play—would be submitted to a school. But the entire digital form will now be submitted.

Oh, it’s optional, okay them  guess I got all riled for no good reas—and then this: the FHSAA has since changed the optional requirement to mandatory. The recommendation now goes before the FHSAA board of directors, which will meet in late February to make the final decision.

While students’ medical history is necessary for doctors, should the athlete be hurt while playing their sport and require medical attention, but no one knows why any school would need menstrual cycle information other than Ron DeFacsist’s anti-transgender bias and pregnancy and abortion information.

And controlling women’s bodies.

There are parents, and doctors, who worry that schools will use the menstrual data to monitor students for late or missed periods, a possible sign of pregnancy, or to out transgender students by watching for girls who don’t get periods or boys who do.

Florida school administrators say the information will stay private, but there’s no guarantee it will. The platform that hosts Florida’s new digital athletics form are not owned by medical institutions and therefore are not subject to health privacy laws. If subpoenaed for someone’s data, particularly in a state where abortion has been made illegal, companies would be required to hand it over.

Florida has been subjugating women and gender minorities since Ron DeSantis was elected; the state has banned abortion after 15 weeks, forbidden transgender girls from playing on girls’ sports teams, and barred Floridians from using Medicaid to pay for gender-affirming treatments.

Funny, or sad, Florida has given all the freedom in the world to people who want guns, but keep restricting the freedoms of women.

Remember, though, women vote, guns don’t.

Cast a goddamned vote and vote Blue.

New Republic