Snarky Thoughts

Mismatch. I mean, we all knew Ben Affleck and JLo were two very different people. She’s a thirst queen, media whore who never saw a spotlight she didn't want trained on her face, or ass,  and he’s a quiet recovering alcoholic who seems to shy away from the spotlight. But what might have seemed like a good coupling on paper might not actually work in real life, like when Mr. and Mrs. Affleck attended the Grammys and JLo jumped in front of a camera to present an award while Ben pivoted at their table. And while she danced and sang along with each act, Ben looked like a husband who worked all day and came home to crack a bottle of scotch and sit in the La-Z-Boy until he falls sleep.

My Thought: The Misery is real and the sell-by date on this marriage is getting closer every day.

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Did you ever think Chris Brown would ever do the right thing or, failing that, act like a decent human being? Short answer: No. At last week’s Grammys his album, Breezy (Deluxe) was nominated for Best R&B Album but he lost to Robert Glasper for his album, Black Radio III. And Chrissy brought the Breezy Bratty out after his loss and sped over to Instagram to come for Glasper. Chrissy’s been nominated for 20 Grammys but has just one win and felt robbed, robbed I say, by this latest loss and tried to rip Glasper a new one; sidenote: Robert Glasper has been nominated 12 times and has five trophies and is really what set Brownie off:

“BRO WHO THE F**K IS THIS? YALL PLAYING  WHO DA F**K IS THIS? WH THE F**K IS ROBERT GLASPER.”

I’m hoping it’s someone who can at least string together a coherent sentence, but then Twitter came for Brownie so I could sit this one out:

“Chris Brown not knowing who Robert Glasper is… is the reason all of Chris Brown songs sound the same.”

“Chris Brown has 20 nominations and 1 win. He taking out his frustrations on Robert Glasper but them 19 Ls are the real enemy.”

“The irony of Chris Brown not knowing who Robert Glasper is that he’d probably have at least two Grammys instead of one if he worked with Robert Glasper. Instead, he’s been doing the same Doublemint Gum steps since ‘ever.”

My Thought: If they were giving Grammys for felony convictions Chris Brown would have been a shoe-in over Glasper.

Extra Extra! After seeing that he’d made an epic ass of himself AGAIN, Brownie went back to social media to faux-pologize but only played the Petty Betty card harder:

“Congratulations my brother. I would like to apologize if you took offense to my reaction at the Grammys. After doing my research I actually think your [sic] amazing. THE ORGANIZATION ISNT DOING US BLACKS OUR DUE DILIGENCE. YOU AND I SHOULD never be in the same categor[y] … two totally different vibes and genres.”

Yeah, Brownie, not an apology, and then suggesting Glasper was in the wrong category and you would have won had the academy done the right thing proves the delusions are real.

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The best part of this GOP Congress’ antics is that they  produce ridiculousness rather than giving us anything substantive. Case in point: at a recent hearing about The Twitter the Republicans brought up the fact that a 2019 Tweet by Chrissy Teigen wasn’t removed from the platform after Thing 45 got his Depends in a snit because she called him, um, ahem, “Pussy ass bitch.”

My Thought: That will now and forever be the best part of the Official Congressional Record.

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Philanderers Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes are still going strong after their affair went public and the lovebirds ended up unemployed from the GMA and ABC. But love conquers all, doesn’t it? Or does it become less lovely when you learn that, while they both took the boot, Amy’s boot was a Louboutin compared to T.J.’s full-assed combat boot on his fine ass, since she left with a boatload more cash in her bank account than her lovah.

My Thought: One affair will get you the boot with a nice severance, but being a serial adulterer and using your job as your personal sex pool gets you coins and cab fare.

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